Friday Free For All…..Volume 17.0

Friday Free For All…..Volume 17.0

By: J-Shannon

FRIIIIDDDDAAAAYYYYY, Thank God, I didn’t think this day was coming. I personally have had one hell of a long week, and I’m looking forward to doing nothing more than throw up the feet on a coffee table, loosen the tie, and crack open an Ice Cold ‘Merican. We got lots to cover this Friday morning, so stop acting like you’re working and start reading. This week, we tackle great sports movie clips, having legal but illegal sex, the NFL, the most overrated college football team in the land, and another “Real Man of Genius.” Enjoy People…….

--The “I THINK YOU SHOULD KNOW” Story from this Week:

1. The NFL is making a BIG MISTAKE……

This may just be my opinion, but the NFL is making a HUGE MISTAKE. As of 9:17 Thursday night when I am writing this article, there has been no movement for putting together a new Collective Bargaining Agreement between the NFL and the Players Association. Let me break it down for the common folk as to what the real issues are all about:

The Team owners and players union are arguing over BILLIONS of dollars. What it boils down to is this, the Team Owners think they are owed more, and the players feel the same way.

Here is what pisses me off about the whole argument. If the league and players don’t agree to a new agreement, there could be a complete cancellation of the 2011 NFL Season. Now I will be EXTREMELY upset if there is no NFL season, but has everyone really stopped and thought about how many people this disagreement affects?

First, there will be NO pay for players. If you have a contract for 10 million or 500K, you aren’t getting a check. Sitting out a year probably won’t affect the Tom Brady’s and the Peyton Manning’s of the world, but what about the other 72% of NFL players who make $500K or less?

Second, almost every team has announced that Coaches and Staff will be taking pay cuts and or mandatory furlough days. Why; because if there is no season, there is no revenue. Billionaire owners don’t care if they are billionaires; they are going to cut cost when there is no revenue coming in. What did they do to deserve cuts? It’s not like they have any say over what goes down with the negotiations.

Last, keep in mind all of the hot dog vendors, beer men, stadium employees, television crews, restaurants, hotels, bars, strip clubs, merchandise workers, popcorn people, and everyone else who is involved in a game day. Their additional paychecks from the NFL season = 0.

--Thing that Have Pissed Me off This Week:

BYU Guard Brandon Davies…

So if you haven’t heard, BYU has a solid basketball team this year. They are on the verge of having one of the best teams they have ever had, and were on the verge of getting a Number 1 Seed in the NCAA Tournament. Well, Wednesday night they got the smack put down on them by New Mexico. Why? Maybe it was because their second leading scorer has been thrown off the team for breaking school honor code.

Now, here is what supposedly happened. Brandon broke school honor code by having sex with his girlfriend. As a result, he was kicked off the team.

You want my opinion? Stop whining about being kicked off the team. You are the one who chose to go to BYU, and you knew they had some serious rules and procedures. You are the one who signed the honor code, and you are the one who broke the rules. You shouldn’t feel bad you got kicked off the team; you should feel bad you let your teammates down. Look, the least you could do would have been keep the sex with the GF on the down low…. Step your game up Bro….

--Youtube Clips of the Week:

Notre Dame Bashing…..

Being that we are saluting the best “Real Men of Genius” commercials of all time, I came across this clip and HAD to include it in the Friday Morning Free for All. Definitely take the time to watch the clip; it is the perfect definition of a Notre Dame Football Fan…..

--My Favorite Sports Movie Scene of the Week:

New category, but really simple. Here is where I’m going to put in some of the absolute best sports movie scenes of all time…. This week:

“Has anyone ever told you you look like a little penis with a hat on?”

--Real Men of Genius Bro of the Week:

In honor of the kickoff of the 2011 NASCAR season, I felt it was only right to dedicate a portion of my Friday Free for All for the next few weeks to the “Real Men of Genius,” presented by ice cold ‘Merican Bud Light. This week, Bro Nameth Salutes you…….

Mr. Really Really Really Bad Dancer….

--Shout-Outs for the Week:

*LeBron James- I’ve had just about enough of “The King.” Like the decision wasn’t gay enough, he post this on Twitter just the other night “20+ games left in phase 2. I'm ReFOCUSED! No prisoners, I have no friends when at WAR besides my Soldiers.”

*Charlie Sheen- The guy is hilarious… enough said. He has the Balls and the Money to do whatever he wants….

*Serena Williams- Good luck on the road back from surgery….

*Chicago Cubs- The season hasn’t even started yet, and teammates are already fighting in the dugout. Solid.

*Green Bay Packers- Even though AJ Hawk led the team in tackles, you managed to convince him he was over paid, you then cut him, and then resigned him for less. Well Done!

*JaMarcus Russell- You got paid somewhere around 45 Million dollars for no reason, and you still got a house going into foreclosure. Nice move Bro…..

*Oregon Football- Looks like that run to the National Championship wasn’t a fluke. They actually have a little more in common with Auburn than making it to the big game. Oregon is being investigated by the NCAA for recruiting violations…..

As always, it’s been a pleasure. Leave a comment if you disagree with anything I got to say, and I’ll prove to you why you are wrong….. Check in again Monday Suckazzzzz.

Friday Free For All…..Volume 11.0

Friday Free For All…..Volume 11.0

By: J-Shannon

After Missing out on a Happy Crappy Monday Morning article, we are back up and smoking for a jammed pack Friday Free For All! I was thinking of coming up with a long, detailed excuse about how the Dirty South Blizzard caused a power outage at the J-Shannon residence, resulting in me not being able to produce a Monday Morning article. Instead, I am going to be completely honest, because you Bro Nameth supporters do not deserve to be Bullshitted. Instead of writing an article Sunday night, I, along with a group of fellow brotivated people, decided to throw a: “It’s going to snow, so we ain’t got to show” party. This party involved an extensive amount of Brew Ha Ha’s, therefore I didn’t think I was qualified to write a solid article.

However, I have jam packed this Friday Morning article with twice as much information as usual. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride…..

----The “I THINK YOU SHOULD KNOW” Stories from this Week:

I was going to talk about a couple of different points in this section, until I came across this disturbing picture. Gucci Mane has decided to take the “Ice Cream Paint Job” to a whole new level. Just when you think Mike Tyson has the worst face tattoo of all time, Gucci comes along and takes the cake. You know, recently he was released from a mental institute, and from the looks of it, he might should have stayed there a little longer….Here is the pic….

----Things that Have Pissed Me off This Week:

1.       Hey Browns fans, stop your Bitching……

Oh to be a sports fan in Cleveland. How depressing is it honestly to be a sports fan in Cleveland? Let’s start with baseball. The movie “Major League” had a more attractive roster than the current one that is put together for the Indians. Name three relevant Cleveland Indians off the top of your head, I’ll wait. It has to hurt to think at one point, both C.C. Sabathia and Cliff Lee were both starters in the same rotation. How about the Cavaliers? Well they are still cleaning up the mess from the dump King James left on the town. Cavs fans shouldn’t be pissed that LeBron left, they should actually thank him for letting the town experience a few years of winning. Try and tell me LeBron isn’t talented, they guy gave the team 60 win seasons… this year they will be lucky to get 20. And finally, there is the Cleveland Browns. The only award that team is worthy of winning is the worst team uniforms in sports. I do have to give the Browns a little credit, their fan base continues to support a shitty team year after year. Poor Josh Cribbs, the guy is about as talented as there is in football. He is surrounded by teammates who would be practice players on most other rosters. Cleveland Sports has about as much chance of winning a Championship as a crack-head in a weightlifting competition.

But here is what pisses me off the most: Fans are already hating the hire of new Head Coach Pat Shurmur. So he isn’t a big name guy, who cares. The guy has been the OC in St. Louis, and has been putting up points consistently with arguable one player (Steven Jackson), and a rookie QB. Take note of what has happened in recent years Browns fans. ATL fans weren’t to happy with the Mike Smith hire, yea they have all shut up at this point. People were pissed the legend Bill Cowher was replaced by Mike Tomlin, a no name Coordinator. I think that hire turned out pretty well. Give the guy a chance before you bash him, it may surprise you.

2.       Antonio Cramartie, you got a big set of Balls……

You know the old saying, “You mess with the Bull, and you get the Horns?” Well Cromartie needs to learn the meaning of this quickly. For the life of me, I cannot understand why you would talk shit to Tom Brady before a playoff game? You know Tom Brady, the guy who is 14-4 in his career during playoff games. The guy who game after game makes things happen, regardless of who is his running back and receivers. A guy who will throw three touchdowns this weekend, light up Cromartie, and still make it home in time to tuck his child into bed and play hide the pickle with his smoking hot wife. Cromartie has two other problems I think he needs to focus on before talking shit to Brady.

1.       Don’t forget that “Revis Island” is on the other side of the field from where you play. This means that regardless of how good you think you are, people are going to continue to throw your way because Revis is the best.

2.       You should be focusing on the 9 kids from 8 different women you currently know about. I won’t even include the 5 other paternity test you have outstanding. What you need to be doing is taking some tips from Travis Henry. You remember him, the ex NFL running back who has 10 kids by 10 different women, who still owes $250,000 in child support each month, although he is unemployed.

--Youtube Clips of the Week:

A solid youtube clip this week. We all had dreams growing up, and some of us have reached our dreams. Some of us however, fell short. This man may need to rethink his career choice….

The second clip is more of an inspirational story. Little Elizabeth Hughes wanted to sing the national Anthem for her local AHL Hockey team. She was rocking it, and got about 75% of the way through, when her microphone went out. What happens next is pretty cool from the people of Norfolk…..This needs to be said. The lady who starts laughing as her mic cuts off is about as cool as the swine flu. Shits Weak. 

--The “LIVIN’ THE DREAM” Legend of the Week:

Last week’s legend was Jerry Jones, who we can all agree was a solid choice. Although I hate to stick with another sports team owner, this week’s legend is: Mark Cuban….

Talk about living the dream, the man is worth somewhere in the 2-3 billion dollar range. He sits court side to every game, to cheer on his team. Most of us sit at a game and cheer on our team, but it would be nice to know it is actually “YOUR TEAM.” Rumor has it he is one of the most player friendly owners in the history of sports. He is known for making his players as comfortable as possible. Cuban asked his players what would make them more comfortable in the locker room. After hearing their suggestions, he provided them with a massage recliner in front of each of their lockers, along with a 42 inch plasma in each locker.

Talk about tough life decisions, the guy is has been wrestling with the idea of whether or not he wants to put in an offer to buy the Cubs….. “Livin’ the Dream” at it’s finest…..

--Prediction for the Upcoming Week:

So I was off on a couple of predictions last week, but I hit a couple right on the head. I told you that Harbough would be the next coach at San Francisco, and he now is. I also told you that even though they were talking about new candidates, Tony Sparono wasn’t going anywhere, and he didn’t. This week’s predictions…..

Packers vs. Falcons- This one is tough, because of my personal love for the birds. But I like the packers in this match up. Aaron Rodgers is a stud, and their defense is on point. I hate to say it, but I think it comes down to a 4^th down play that the Falcons fall short on… Final: Falcons 28- Packers 31

Ravens vs. Steelers- I love both of these teams, because I love hard nosed defensive football. This one comes down to experience, and I give it to the Steelers. Final score Steelers 21- Ravens 16 Side Note: Ed Reed has a pick….

Seahawks vs. Bears- The magic is over, sorry Seahawks. Although Cutler is going to do everything possible to lose this game, the Bears D actually knows how to tackle unlike the Saints. Not a lot of offense in this one…. Seahawks 16 – Bears 24

Jets vs. Patriots-   I can’t wait to see this one personally. It has all the making for an instant classic. The cocky coach, the bad ass coach, the silent but deadly QB, the trash talking Corner, and the “Rudy” little white boy football player. I will never go against Brady, as he has a point to prove this weekend… Final Score Jets- 24 Patriots 32…

--The Ordinary Bro who deserves Recognition this Week:

This one is simple. How about a shout out to the Bro’s who despite it being snowing and icy outside, still man up and get to their respective jobs to make sure the rest of us who are snowed in are enjoying their impromptu holiday. I called the liquor store Tuesday, and they said they will def. be open normal hours, no matter what the weather is looking like, because they know that people need to drink…. I thought it was well worth being recognized.

--Shout-Outs for the Weekend:

·         Clippers- They dropped 44 on the Heat in the first Quarter this week, and pulled off a rare win against a decent opponent…..

·         Nnamdi Asomugha- Good call on having a clause in your contract to let you leave Oakland. It has to be miserable playing for a habitually horrible team.

·         Lawrence Taylor- Looks like you aren’t going to jail for the hotel room hookup with the high school chick. Hey it’s not your fault you ordered a hooker and she showed up underage.

·         Cam Newton- Shout out for winning the National Championship, and heading to the NFL. I would get out of there too before the shit hits the fan…..

·         Tony Parker- Looks like your ex teammate Brent Barry finalized his divorce with his wife this weekend, thanks to you plowing her on the side.

As always, it’s been a pleasure. Leave a comment if you disagree with anything I got to say, and I’ll prove to you why you are wrong….. Check in again Monday Suckazzzzz.

Happy Crappy Monday Morning.....Volume 9.0

Happy Crappy Monday Morning……Volume 9.0               

By: J-Shannon

Good Afternoon and Happy Crappy Monday to you guys. This by far is the COLDEST edition of the Crappy Monday so far. Lots of changes and big things happened this weekend, and I’ll do my best to get you caught up on everything that went down. Also, Thanks for help Bro Nameth cross the 10,000 views this month. Your reading keeps us writing….. ENJOY.

1.       Dirty Birdz Flying High Towards the Playoffs…..

Another NFL weekend is in the books, and another win by the Birds. They took on the pathetic looking Carolina Panthers this weekend, and put a hurting on the kittens. The Birds are rolling, and looking like they have their sights set on Dallas and the Super Bowl. Other than the New England Patriots, I can’t see anyone beating the Birds anytime soon. Matty Ice needs to continue just managing the game, and let the stars do what they have to do. Defensively, keep taking the ball away. I’m excited to see how deep this team goes….

2.       Deuces Texas, Muschamp is out….

Things just got worse in Austin. Not only did the Longhorns have a horrible season, but it looks like they are also on the search for a new Defensive Coordinator. Muschamp threw up his deuces as he walked off the University of Texas campus, and is heading to Gator land. I give him credit, he was tired of waiting on Mack Brown to retire, and let’s face it, why not leave before the bad results in Texas start getting pointed his way…..Good Luck in Florida buddy, no pressure there…..

3.       D-Bag on Jets Coaching Staff needs to get a Beat Down….

If you missed the Dolphins vs. the Jets game, you missed a D Bag of a moment. The strength and conditioning coach for the Jets, I don’t know his name, nor do I think he deserves my time to look it up, stuck his leg out and tripped a Miami player as he was running down the sideline. The play was over, and the Miami player had already stepped out of bounds. The coach then leans his knee forward, and trips the player, sending him flying to the ground. This guy needs some serious discipline handed down to him from the league. Don’t forget, Woody Hayes did something similar to this back in the day at Ohio State, and was fired….

4.       Speaking of Deuces, so long Metro Dome….

So it is a good thing that the Vikings are sucking it up this year. They have no chance of making the playoffs, which is good, because they probably wouldn’t have an opportunity to have home field advantage even if they were good enough. The Dome decided today it had had enough of the snow, and caved in. Minnesota has gotten almost 2 feet of snow, and the roof of the Metro Dome completely collapsed. It is kind of fitting when you think about it, the Dome has imploded just like the season of the Vikings. Look at the bright side though; even Mother Nature respects “THE STREAK.” Favre said he would not have been able to play today, but because of mother nature, he has one more day of rest to see if he can give it a go tomorrow…..

5.       Congrats Cam…

Congrats on the Heisman Trophy. I will be even more impressed if it and or the National Championship is still in good standing this time 2 years from now.

6.       Snow Flurries Suck….

Look Mother Nature, if you are going to snow, then snow. If you are going to rain, then rain.  Don’t do this BS flurry business. It pisses me off. I’m hoping for about a foot of snow in ATL this Christmas…..

7.       SEC Coaching is Stacked….

Have you ever stopped to think about just how much talent there is in the SEC Coaching Ranks? What other conference can say they have three coaches who have won National Championships (4 Coaches if you are willing to admit that Gene Chizik will win one this season). I would have admitted during the season that the West was stronger when it came to coaches, but after this weekend The East might have the edge. With the addition of Muschamp, and probably Gus Malzahn, added to Mark Richt and Spurrier, you’re talking some serious talent.

8.       Obama on Mythbusters….

Hey, did anyone else get to see the President on Mythbusters? Neither did I, but I do have one question…. Doesn’t he have more important things on his plate than being a television show? I’m all for not talking politics here on Bro Nameth, but this isn’t even politics, it’s just common sense. I don’t mind the president making public appearances, showing up on talk shows and talking politics, or anything like that, but being on a show like Mythbusters seems to me to be a waste of his time…

9.       Kyle Singler is a Freak…

I know he is a tall, lanky white boy who plays for Duke. But the kid can play basketball. Not only can he play down low and make moves like a big man, but he can also stroke the Threes whenever he feels like it. But the most impressive thing about Singler is his trick shot ability. I actually don’t know what is more impressive, the fact that he makes all of these shots, or the fact that he has so much time to make a video like this…..He still looks like a goofy Ethan Hawke

10. The Top 10 in the Top 10…….

I was spending Sunday afternoon relaxing and flipping back and forth between The RED ZONE Channel (which by the way is the best channel in the history of television) and the movie Major League, and it got me thinking. I decided that for this week’s top 10, I was going to put together a list of goodies for you people to enjoy. Here it is, the Top 10:

TOP 10 FICTIONAL SPORTS MOVIE CHARACTERS OF ALL TIME….. ENJOY.

1.       JESUS SHUTTLESWORTH- He Got Game-   Jesus was a 5 star recruit from Brooklyn, New York, who was being recruited by every top school in the nation. He averaged 32 points and 12 boards his senior year. The kid was a baller…

Favorite Quote: “Basketball is like poetry in motion, cross the guy to the left, take him back to the right; he’s fallin’ back, then just J right in his face. Then you look at him and say “What?”

2.       QUINCY MCCALL- Love and Basketball- Quincy’s father was an NBA player for the clippers for 12 years. Although he was highly touted out of high school, his decision to go Pro after his freshmen season was a bad call, and he ended up tearing up his Knee and being let go by the Laker's after his third year…..

Favorite Quote: “If basketball is all you care about, why you bonin’ me? Why don’t you bone Dick Vital?”

3.       RICK “WILD THING” VAUGHN- Major League -Yea he spent time in the big house, but who cares? The man can throw a heater over 100 miles per hour. Who can forget his unique hair, his bad ass glasses, and his wardrobe?

Favorite Quote: “ I got news for you Mr. Brown, you haven’t heard the last of me. You may think I’m shit now, but someday you are gonna be sorry you cut me. I’m gonna catch on somewhere else and every time that I pitch against you I’m gonna stick it up your fuckin’ ass!”

4.       GORDON BOMBAY- The Mighty Ducks- OK, so maybe he shouldn’t count because he is a coach. But what other guy can lead a crappy PEE WEE hockey team from St. Paul Minnesota, to the Jr. Goodwill games the next year and win gold? Of course his team was loaded with talent, with Goldberg, Adam Banks, the Bash Brothers, and Charlie Conway….

Favorite Quote: “Now here is the long and short of it: I hate hockey, and I don’t like kids.”

5.       HAPPY GILMORE- Happy Gilmore- Happy was unique, bad ass, and also didn’t give a shit what anyone thought about him. He could hit the ball a mile, and finally developed a short game. Happy made golf relevant again….

Favorite Quote: “During high school, I played junior hockey and still hold two league records: most time spent in the penalty box; and I was the only guy to ever take off his skate and try to stab someone.”

6.       WILLIE BEAMEN – Any Given Sunday- Beamen sat on the sidelines for the first 4 years of his career, but after the starting QB          for the Miami Sharks went down, Beamen stepped up and lead the Sharks to the playoffs. It’s funny how similar his game looks to Mike Vicks… Not to mention Beaman had a sick music video….

Favorite Quote: “I’ve always been a star, ya’ll just didn’t know it yet.”

7.       STEVE LATTIMER- The Program- Laittimer makes the cut strictly because he is a juiced up freak of nature. The man was huge in the movie, and made some plays. Yea he juiced, but what other Defensive end slams his head in a car windshield when he finds out he makes the starting lineup….

Favorite Quote: “Starting Defense! A place at the Table!”

8.       BENNY “The Jet” RODRIGUEZ- The Sandlot Quite possibly my favorite baseball player growing up, the guy is known for the being in the biggest pickle in the history of baseball. Benny does the unthinkable, and hops the fence to challenge “The Beast” to a duel. He is successful, and eventually ends up playing for the LA Dodgers.

Favorite Quote: “Anyone who wants to be a can’t-hack-it pantywaist who wears their mama’s bra, raise your hand.”

9.       SPIKE HAMMERSMITH- Little Giants-  No, he wasn’t the main character in the movie. But Spike was a stud. Remember how he helped his dad unload the moving truck by putting the refrigerator on his back and carrying it in the house?

Favorite Quote: “Spike is in Hell. Spike is in Pee Wee football HELL”

10.   HENRY ROWENGARTNER- Rookie of the Year- The only thing better than his ability to throw the high stinky cheddar down the pipe is his last name. Although his major league career only lasted one year, Henry was a stud for the Cubs.

Favorite Quote: “Hey, we want a pitcher, not an underwear snitcher.”

Leave me your thoughts and comments on the facebook post…. See you all Friday morning Suckazzzzzz.