Friday Free For All…..Volume 17.0

Friday Free For All…..Volume 17.0

By: J-Shannon

FRIIIIDDDDAAAAYYYYY, Thank God, I didn’t think this day was coming. I personally have had one hell of a long week, and I’m looking forward to doing nothing more than throw up the feet on a coffee table, loosen the tie, and crack open an Ice Cold ‘Merican. We got lots to cover this Friday morning, so stop acting like you’re working and start reading. This week, we tackle great sports movie clips, having legal but illegal sex, the NFL, the most overrated college football team in the land, and another “Real Man of Genius.” Enjoy People…….

--The “I THINK YOU SHOULD KNOW” Story from this Week:

1. The NFL is making a BIG MISTAKE……

This may just be my opinion, but the NFL is making a HUGE MISTAKE. As of 9:17 Thursday night when I am writing this article, there has been no movement for putting together a new Collective Bargaining Agreement between the NFL and the Players Association. Let me break it down for the common folk as to what the real issues are all about:

The Team owners and players union are arguing over BILLIONS of dollars. What it boils down to is this, the Team Owners think they are owed more, and the players feel the same way.

Here is what pisses me off about the whole argument. If the league and players don’t agree to a new agreement, there could be a complete cancellation of the 2011 NFL Season. Now I will be EXTREMELY upset if there is no NFL season, but has everyone really stopped and thought about how many people this disagreement affects?

First, there will be NO pay for players. If you have a contract for 10 million or 500K, you aren’t getting a check. Sitting out a year probably won’t affect the Tom Brady’s and the Peyton Manning’s of the world, but what about the other 72% of NFL players who make $500K or less?

Second, almost every team has announced that Coaches and Staff will be taking pay cuts and or mandatory furlough days. Why; because if there is no season, there is no revenue. Billionaire owners don’t care if they are billionaires; they are going to cut cost when there is no revenue coming in. What did they do to deserve cuts? It’s not like they have any say over what goes down with the negotiations.

Last, keep in mind all of the hot dog vendors, beer men, stadium employees, television crews, restaurants, hotels, bars, strip clubs, merchandise workers, popcorn people, and everyone else who is involved in a game day. Their additional paychecks from the NFL season = 0.

--Thing that Have Pissed Me off This Week:

BYU Guard Brandon Davies…

So if you haven’t heard, BYU has a solid basketball team this year. They are on the verge of having one of the best teams they have ever had, and were on the verge of getting a Number 1 Seed in the NCAA Tournament. Well, Wednesday night they got the smack put down on them by New Mexico. Why? Maybe it was because their second leading scorer has been thrown off the team for breaking school honor code.

Now, here is what supposedly happened. Brandon broke school honor code by having sex with his girlfriend. As a result, he was kicked off the team.

You want my opinion? Stop whining about being kicked off the team. You are the one who chose to go to BYU, and you knew they had some serious rules and procedures. You are the one who signed the honor code, and you are the one who broke the rules. You shouldn’t feel bad you got kicked off the team; you should feel bad you let your teammates down. Look, the least you could do would have been keep the sex with the GF on the down low…. Step your game up Bro….

--Youtube Clips of the Week:

Notre Dame Bashing…..

Being that we are saluting the best “Real Men of Genius” commercials of all time, I came across this clip and HAD to include it in the Friday Morning Free for All. Definitely take the time to watch the clip; it is the perfect definition of a Notre Dame Football Fan…..

--My Favorite Sports Movie Scene of the Week:

New category, but really simple. Here is where I’m going to put in some of the absolute best sports movie scenes of all time…. This week:

“Has anyone ever told you you look like a little penis with a hat on?”

--Real Men of Genius Bro of the Week:

In honor of the kickoff of the 2011 NASCAR season, I felt it was only right to dedicate a portion of my Friday Free for All for the next few weeks to the “Real Men of Genius,” presented by ice cold ‘Merican Bud Light. This week, Bro Nameth Salutes you…….

Mr. Really Really Really Bad Dancer….

--Shout-Outs for the Week:

*LeBron James- I’ve had just about enough of “The King.” Like the decision wasn’t gay enough, he post this on Twitter just the other night “20+ games left in phase 2. I'm ReFOCUSED! No prisoners, I have no friends when at WAR besides my Soldiers.”

*Charlie Sheen- The guy is hilarious… enough said. He has the Balls and the Money to do whatever he wants….

*Serena Williams- Good luck on the road back from surgery….

*Chicago Cubs- The season hasn’t even started yet, and teammates are already fighting in the dugout. Solid.

*Green Bay Packers- Even though AJ Hawk led the team in tackles, you managed to convince him he was over paid, you then cut him, and then resigned him for less. Well Done!

*JaMarcus Russell- You got paid somewhere around 45 Million dollars for no reason, and you still got a house going into foreclosure. Nice move Bro…..

*Oregon Football- Looks like that run to the National Championship wasn’t a fluke. They actually have a little more in common with Auburn than making it to the big game. Oregon is being investigated by the NCAA for recruiting violations…..

As always, it’s been a pleasure. Leave a comment if you disagree with anything I got to say, and I’ll prove to you why you are wrong….. Check in again Monday Suckazzzzz.

BroRankings going into Sin City

BroRankings going into Sin City

By: Corey Rose

So here we are, off and running in the 2011 season. Now that we’re past the wild card that is Daytona and have seen some 1 mile short track racing in Mexi-I mean Arizona, it’s time to head to Vegas for a cookie cutter track. They call the mile and halfers cookie cutters because it’s become the standard layout of NASCAR tracks these days. The banking, width, and pavement may vary from one to another, but these tracks really separate the contenders from the Trevor Baynes because we see a lot of them-and most tracks twice-as we head towards the championship.

1. As his losing streak was just climbing over the retirement age, ole Jeff Gordon put the AARP Chevy in victory lane for the first time, and he did it with style. He was bounced off the wall earlier in the day, managed to keep it pretty clean from then on, and then gave the Busch Bro to beat at Phoenix a dose of his own medicine with less than 10 to go. With a new crew chief, team, and sponsor, watch out for the 24 to take this momentum and run with it. Oh, and at Vegas since the intro if the car of tomorrow, this wine sipping pipsqueak has led more than the double the laps anyone else has, has the highest driver rating, and an average finish of 4.5.

2. I know. By ranking Kyle Busch second in the power rankings, I’m just repeating the Phoenix finishing order, but if I ranked him any lower, I’d be eating my words come Sunday. Plus, he came a couple hundred feet away from completing the weekend sweep for the second time in his career. We’re heading into the Busch Bros’ hometown with them 1 and 2 in the point standings. While his finish at Vegas last year was an mediocre 15^th, he won the year before. Plus, at Daytona and Phoenix, he was the best finisher from the Joe Gibbs stable yet he was involved or almost involved in more cautions than I can count. The only thing that might derail him this week would be some Cousin Carl payback for ruining his Subway 500 run this past weekend. If you don’t know anything about Carl’s history with revenge, watch this.

I really thought Carl would have axed the white gloves after they gave him up on this one.

3. Kurt Busch is just on a tear so far this year. After a win in the Bud Shootout, a win in his Haterade Duel, and two Top 10s in the first two races, Kurt and Dodge are flexing their muscle. Remember, NASCAR’s new point system is built to reward consistency. This guy understands that. He hasn’t had the success his bro has had in their hometown, but Dodge hasn’t looked this good in years either. Plus, with a nickname like the “Double Deuce”, also the name of the shitty bar Sam Elliot and Patrick Swayze cleaned up in the 80’s masterpiece, Road House, he’s gotta be able to whoop some ass.

On a side note, if you’ve never seen Road House, watch this clip and call me on Monday after you’ve gone out and picked this one out of Wally World’s DVD Five Buck Bin. If you don’t feel a significant increase in tesBrosterone levels, it’s time to call Brose Canseco and try some Human Browth Hormones.

4. I hate to do this but have to for the sake of honest writing, Jimmie Johnson has to get a spot in our 5. He got collected in the Daytona crap shoot but bounced back very well with a 3^rd at Phoenix. Last year he won this race. The year before that, he shit the bed. In 9 races, his average finish is 10^th. That’s second to only Jeff Burton’s 9.92 for drivers with more than 5 appearances here. Unless 5 time racks up a buncha DNFs(did not finishes), you can probably count on him remaining on this list. He just never goes away no matter how much we want him to. He’s currently outside the Chase picture so enjoy it while it lasts, race fans.

5. For the 5^th and final spot in the BroRankings, I’ll give you a bit of a wild card to chew on. Look out for AJ Allmendinger to make some noise this weekend and as the year progresses. I truly believe this ugly duckling can bring Richard Petty and the #43 back to the glory days or at least close to it. Vegas hasn’t been his strong suit in the past, but the RPM cars are looking much more competitive since the size of the team was reduced for 2011. Also, the dude finished 11^th at Daytona, 9^th at Phoenix, and is sitting pretty tied for 3^rd in points with my boy, Tony Stewart. Dinger’s problem in the past has been consistency so that either needs to be corrected or he’s going to have to get into the Chase on wins alone.

Side note: You may have heard the IRL(Incompetent Racers Legion)is putting up $5 mil for any active driver from outside their gaggle of crash test dummies that qualifies and wins the season finale in Vegas. 5 drivers will be allowed to attempt this but will have to be approved by the IRL’s Idiocracy-level governance body. A lot of names have been mentioned like Scott Speed, Robby Gordon, Tony Stewart, JPM, etc. etc. but the only person to say he’s interested is the Dinger, who does have open wheel experience. If he does well on Sunday, this conversation is going to heat up. While it is intriguing, I don’t think Dinger is the NASCAR driver we should put our hopes on to further embarrass the U.S. open wheel nancies.

Side note 2: Mobil1 announced this week that Tony Stewart and Lewis Hamilton, the 2009 F1 Champ, will be meeting at Watkins Glen with their respective race prepped cars this summer. They’ll swap rides and see what they can do as a promotional event for Mobil1. Absolutely brilliant. These two have proven they can drive anything and giving them race prepped cars rather than doing some stupid demo in detuned cars with last year’s parts should be interesting. Plus, neither of these guys have reputations for following rules so you can count on some extracurriculars.

Bronorable Mention:

Carl Edwards: He looked great at Daytona and qualified on the pole for his sponsor’s race this past week. Due to a wrong place, wrong time situation, Carl didn’t really get a chance to show us what he had for race day in Arizona. In 6 races at Vegas Carl has a low of 26th, a high of 1^st, and an average of just under 13^th. Considering the improvements made to the new FR9 Ford engine package, I would say we can count on Cuz’s averages going up all year including this week.

Tony Stewart: Bias aside, Smoke looks pretty solid so far this year. Anyone that made it through the last two races without being involved in a caution has to be off to a pretty good start. In each race, we’ve had about half the field collected in one wreck or another. Smoke has managed to keep out of these messes by running up front consistently, something tough to do over a couple hundred mile race especially at Daytona. Again, consistency is king. It shows with him being 3^rd in the points, but this team has to find a way to be relevant after the last pit stop. They seem to go from potential winner to solid top 10 on the final run.

DisBronorable Mention:

Richard Childress Racing: Look here, RCR(minus Paul Menard because you’ll never really be a contender. They’re just taking your daddy’s money and telling him you’re part of the club). I tooted your horn big time going into Daytona and y’all sucked there and didn’t look much better at Phoenix. These guys are having a harder time keeping their noses clean than Charlie Sheen. Yes, it’s been a lot of bad luck, but under this new point system, teams can ill afford DNFs and 30 somethings. It’s time for the King of Beers and his boys to post some top 10s together. Their average finishes look pretty good going into the cesspool in the desert, but one could say the same for Daytona and Phoenix. Look how that turned out.

Happy Crappy Tuesday Morning……Volume 18.0

Happy Crappy Tuesday Morning……Volume 18.0

By: J-Shannon

What is going on Bro Nameth World? It is your boy J-Shannon, and I’m back with another solid edition of the Happy Crappy Tuesday, volume 18! This week, we talk the NFL Combine, along with some other nice knowledge of what went down in the world of sports and entertainment this weekend. Sit back, enjoy, and let us know what you think. Also, please like us on Facebook and comment on some post people, we love to hear your input…..So here it is, the 18^th edition of the Happy Crappy Monday Morning…..

1 Is There New Power in the NBA East?

Please tell me someone watched the Knicks vs. Heat game Sunday night. It was great. I love the fact that the world predicted the Heat would be unstoppable, and so far they are just a very good team. They had the Knicks down 4 with a minute to go in the game, and the Knicks dug in deep to upset the Heat. I love the fact that the Knicks are playing well. You get the sense by watching the new look Knicks that they are playing with some serious confidence these days. If you get a chance, look at the highlights from the game, and see if you noticed the same thing I did. Carmelo Anthony is playing like a different player, and he is playing some serious Defense, something that he didn’t do well in Denver. Carmelo asked to guard Lebron towards the end of the game, and that’s a hell of a way to step up and show some leadership on a new team. Look out for the Knicks, if they start to get things rolling, they could be a force to be dealt with in the playoffs.

2. Odd Questions asked during Interviews at the Combine….

So Future NFL Players get asked some unique questions during their one on one interviews with NFL teams. Why do teams ask such bizarre questions? I guess for a couple of reasons. One reason is the fact that these players are taught and coached on how to answer scripted questions. If you throw in a random question, this might be a team’s way of throwing off the player, so that he won’t remember those scripted answers. Another reason to ask these questions might be just to simply see how a player thinks on his feet. Here are a few actual questions that were asked by NFL teams to future players…..

What is the difference between and apple and an orange?

What is the similarity between a chair and a table?

Have you ever worn a thong?

If we dropped you in the middle of the woods, how would you find your way to the city?

Is your mother a prostitute?

3.  Jeff Gordon, Welcome back to Victory Lane…..

I had to take a moment and send some congrats to Jeff Gordon for this win in Phoenix on Sunday. The guy ended a 66 race skid. Congrats my man…..

4. Want one of the Coolest Jobs in Sports?

The Chicago Cubs have announced that they are looking for a new Game Day Announcer for Wrigley Field. The team has asked every one of all backgrounds to send a resume in and see if you have what it takes to become the voice of the Cubs. It wouldn’t be a bad gig to become the voice of the Cubs. Hell, I might even make you the “living the dream” legend of the week if you get the job.

5. Charlie Sheen is Historical….

Take a moment and really watch This Interview. Charlie Sheen has some of the best answers to these questions you’ll ever see…..

6. Wow, a New NFL Combine Record, this Guy is a Stud…..

I love Football, and I love the NFL. Nothing is better than watching hours of the NFL combine, where you get to see guys leave everything out there on the field, and bust their asses to try and impress NFL coaches and scouts. Stephen Paea took advantage of this opportunity this week, dominating on the bench. If you do not find the below video impressive, you obviously have never stepped foot in a weight room. This is the new NFL Combine record for the 225 Bench Press……

7.  Inspirational Story of the Week….

You have to give it up for a guy who is willing to do all of this, in order to spend time with his son and follow his dream. I don’t know how he does it, but the guy deserves some credit. Working a full time job, raising a son, and playing collegiate basketball has to be tough….

8. Photo of the Week:

This week’s Photo of the week comes from Derek Jeter. Derek Jeter is well on his way to spending some of that cheddar he collected from his new contract with the Yankees. This Mega-Creation cost a cool 7 Million. The place is 31,000 square feet, along with 9 bedrooms and 7 bathrooms. Not too Shabby Jeter….

9.“One-Liners” of the Week….

Clinton Portis- His run in Washington is over, Portis was released around lunch today….

20,000- Bro Nameth passed the 20,000 view mark this week, thanks to all who read….

D- Bag Cheerleader- So a Louisville Cheerleader grabbed the ball after a dunk and threw it up in the air after the game was over, so he thought. The cheerleader’s actions resulted in 2 free throws for Pittsburgh. Good thing for the Cheerleader that Louisville still won the game.

Chris Bosh- He went 1-18 this weekend in a game…. That is not Bro Worthy….

10. THE TOP 10 in the TOP 10…

In honor of latching on to the last little bit of football of the season, this week we will cover the top 10 Standouts and Surprises from this week’s NFL Combine.

10. Cam Newton QB– So Cam Newton’s time after college has been rough. First, He made the mistake at media day this week of referring to himself as “An Entertainer” and an “Icon”. Then, he went out had for forgot the importance of Accuracy. The guy was all over the charts, and was having a rough time getting the ball to receivers all day.

9. Courtney Smith WR – Why the surprise? Well the surprise is he wasn’t invited. That’s surprising being that he is 6’4’’ and has the perfect frame. Shocker he wasn’t invited.

8. AJ Green WR- Look, I know he is a stud, and I know he has talent. But he really hasn’t had a good NFL Combine week. His 40 was weak, as expected. But he also had a rough day with the passing drills, dropping passes more often than normal. Don’t get me wrong, I still think AJ is a top 10 pick, but he didn’t show that at the Combine.

7. Roy Helu Jr. RB – Not going to say much about him, just remember this name. The kid is talented.

6. Marvin Austin DT – The mammoth of a man didn’t get to play a lot of football this season because of the issues with UNC. So as expected, scouts wanted to see if he lost a step or got soft during his missed games. Well, he didn’t, he is a stud. Look for him to go in the first round…..

5. Jake Locker QB- Jake helped himself tons over the weekend. His biggest concern so far has been his accuracy, but he was on point this weekend. He also has the huge frame, and surprisingly he ran a 40 in 4.52, second fastest among QB’s.

4. Julio Jones WR - FREAK…. 11’3’’ Broad Jump, 4.39 40, and 38.5 Vertical…. Enough said.

3. Edmund Gates WR- Anyone know where Abilene Christian School is located? You might want to locate the school; they are starting to put out some speedy WR’s. A couple of years ago they had a kid name Johnny Knox surprise you in the combine, and now starts for the Chicago Bears. This year, Edmund Gates put his name on the map by running the 40 in 4.36, the fastest this year.

2. Von Miller LB- By all accounts, this kid is the prototypical inside linebacker. He has impressed everyone at the combine. His 40, his Bench, and his on field drills have everyone comparing him to a player named Demarcus Ware….. Not too shabby….

1. Stephen Paea- DL- You have already seen what he can do in the video above, the guy is a stud. He set the record this week for the 225 bench press at the combine, rocking it out 49 times. The best part about it, he was pissed that no one told him what rep he was on, he was aiming for 50.

As always, it has been a pleasure. Leave me your thoughts and comments on the facebook post…. See you all Friday morning Suckazzzzzz.

Friday Free For All…..Volume 16.0

Friday Free For All…..Volume 16.0

By: J-Shannon

Welcome to another solid edition of the Friday Morning Free For All. Yea I know it is Friday afternoon, but get over it really. This week we will cover all kinds of topics, from Mascot beat downs, to over the top ridiculous NBA trades. Saddle up, Crack open an Ice Cold ‘Merican, and prepare to have your shorts blown off. It is time for another solid edition of the Friday Morning Free for All…..

--The “I THINK YOU SHOULD KNOW” Story from this Week:

Vegas, Vegas, Vegas. You have to love the town. Why? Because Vegas is the only place where everyone in the world can make money on opinion. Yes, I’m talking about sports gambling. These days, Vegas is allowing everyone to place bets, and they are allowing you to place bets on just about anything. This week, the NFL Scouting Combine kicks off in Indy, and yes, you can place a bet on some of the events at the combine. Thanks to Extra Mustard on CNNSI.COM, Here are some of the highlights on what you can bet on this week. Enjoy.

Who will have the fastest 40 Yard Dash Time?
Cam Newton(QB Auburn): -135
Jake Locker (QB Washington):Even


Who will have the fastest 40 Yard Dash Time?
Cam Newton (QB Auburn): -130
Tyrod Taylor (QB Virginia Tech): Even


Who will the most bench press repetitions?
Da'Quan Bowers (DE Clemson): Even
Nick Fairley (DT Auburn): -130


Who will have the highest vertical leap?
A.J. Green (WR Georgia): -130
Julio Jones (WR Alabama): Even

By the way, I’ll take Cam over Jake, Tyrod in the 40, Bowers with the most Bench Reps, and Julio Jones has better ups….

--Thing that Have Pissed Me off This Week:

 Nice Trade Hawks, as usual, you’re competing to stay mediocre…..

As usual, the Hawks have taken their first steps towards the second half of the season making moves to securely place them in the grasps of mediocrity. With the Knicks and Nets making Blockbuster trades to bolster their lineups with guys like Carmelo Anthony and Derron Williams, the Hawks decided they would step up and make a move. The Hawks approached the Washington Wizards with the proposition of taking their “STAR” point guard Kirk Hinrich in exchange for basically the future of the Hawks. Now don’t get me wrong, Hinrich is a step up from Bibby, who recently has been competing with Troy Glaus as the “Slowest Defensive Player in Professional Sports Athlete in Atlanta.” But they Hawks also gave away:

-Rookie Jordan Crawford: Crawford has a huge future ahead of him, however Atlanta Fans will never see him blossom.

-Maurice Evans: Who in my opinion was equivalent to Bibby, if not better?

-1^st Round Pick

So why does this piss me off? Because the Atlanta Spirit is the absolute worst ownership group in Sports. They constantly trade away solid players, and first round picks. Why do they do this? Because the Atlanta Spirit ownership group is CHEAP. I’m talking Rugged Warehouse, Dollar General Cheap. They don’t want first round picks, because they have to pay first round players money. Jordan Crawford is going to develop, but he was a high round pick himself, who is due money. What’s the best way not to pay Crawford? Trade him, and let someone else worry about his contract.

The Hawks will never make it past the 2^nd round of the playoffs. They don’t have the support of ownership backing the team. Until someone else comes in and buys the Hawks (and the Thrashers for that matter) expect MEDIOCRITY…….

P.S. Be on the lookout for an open letter from Bro Nameth Sports to the AJC…..

--Youtube Clips of the Week:

1. Wow, that’s pretty impressive….

2. I love when a coach gets pissed in a game and loses his mind. This week, the Honor goes to a minor league coach in the hockey ranks…..

--Personal Story of the Week…..

After a solid week at the office, I decided that I needed some good ol fashion rest and relaxation for the weekend. Thursday night, I picked up the wifey and checked out a solid ice cold ‘Merican beer drinking concert: Eric Church and Jason Aldean. I’m going to be honest; they put on a damn good story. Tonight, I’m heading to Camden, SC to see some good friends of mine. We have a solid night planned, starting with a little Japanese. After we knock out some shrimp and chicken, we are hitting up the Japanese Karaoke Bar, trust me, you can’t make this shit up. Once I rock out some Bon Jovi, we are going to head back to my boy’s house to continue drinking some ice cold ‘Mericans while sitting in the hot tub. Yea, be jealous, it’s going to be one hell of a night…..

--Real Men of Genius Bro of the Week:

In honor of the kickoff of the 2011 NASCAR season, I felt it was only right to dedicate a portion of my Friday Free for All for the next few weeks to the “Real Men of Genius,” presented by ice cold ‘Merican Bud Light. This week, Bro Nameth Salutes you…….

Mr. Way Too Much Cologne Wearer

--Shout-Outs for the Week:

*Utah Jazz- Way to let your star player run off your coach, and then trade your star. Now you got an overrated Derrick Favors as one of your biggest stars, and don’t have a chance to compete with the Lakers….

*Chicago Cubs- What are the Cubs doing to advertise? They are putting up billboards with MLB players around town. Funny thing is, they are pictures of Derek Jeter, not a Cubs player…..

*Angelina – The big booty bitch from Jersey Shore has a new gig, and she is going to Professional Wrestling. She just started wrestling for TNA Wrestling, no bullshit…

*New York Knicks- Way to actually be aggressive, and go out and make moves for your team that will have you taking a few steps forward over the next couple of years. Take note Hawks.

*Trevor Bayne- The kid is off to a good start, but he has already put his car into the wall this weekend at Phoenix. Welcome back to the real world kid.

*SMKA Productions- I am stealing a shoutout here from Jason. I have known these guys for quite a while now and they are doing some big things. I normally am not one to tell you to cut back on some good ole fashioned's but help my boys out and send $5 their way to help them get this album done. Bro Nameth looks out for their own. Make it happen.

As always, it’s been a pleasure. Leave a comment if you disagree with anything I got to say, and I’ll prove to you why you are wrong….. Check in again Monday Suckazzzzz.

Bayne to Drivers: Put up or Shut Up

Bayne to Drivers: Put up or Shut Up

By Uncle Clark

Danica Patrick is going to need a sexier fire-suit to stay in this sport. The woman completed the 2010 season with an average finish of 28^th thanks to her HUGE pass on the closing laps of the Ford 300 where she overtook Sam Hornish Jr. for 19^th place. Friggen amazing.

Ladies, there are only 43 cars in the field. On average, 10 cars head to garage before they complete 100 laps. That means she beat out 5 drivers to cross the finish line.

Here is the problem: I am giving her too much credit. This is the Nationwide Series and Danica is supposed to be a pedigree player. In three of her 13 starts, Danica was one of those 10 cars heading to the garage. She finished on the lead lap in one race. The rest of the time Danica was dodging beer cans coming in late to the final turn.

READER QUESTION: Clark, why in the eff are we talking about Danica Patrick?

ANSWER:  Because 20-year-old Trevor Bayne won the Daytona 500 – The Great American Race – in his second start as a Sprint Cup driver. Start. Number. Two. We’re talking about Danica, because T. Bayne showed up to Daytona in his Ford F150 with Bojangles wrappers on the floorboards (unconfirmed) and a duffle bag of t-shirts. We’re talking about Danica, because T. Bayne made a statement to her and all “developmental” drivers with his race weekend in Daytona: Put up or shut up.

The dude was ready when he parked his truck. His performance in the Gatorade Duel is proof enough. Jeff Gordon went to T. Bayne – a rookie with the largely forgotten Woods Brothers race team – and tapped him as his drafting partner. His performance was remarkable. Bayne’s ability to control the car at both ends of the draft was beyond impressive. He was one of the first drivers to recognize the need to stay out of the side-drafts of opposing pairs as the turbulent air produced would send Bayne and his partner backwards. The garage saw every move he and Gordon made. The kid had earned his respect even with the rookie stripes taped to his back bumper. Bayne took that respect, matched it with momentum and won the Daytona 500.

Final Laps of the 500:

But we’re not here to talk about Trevor Bayne. This article is about Danica and all the “developmental” drivers out there. T. Bayne just tightened your deadline. He did it with a part-time race team. He did it without a private jet to take him there. He did it with a car void of top-dollar sponsorship dollars. T. Bayne’s message to you: Win or get out. These folks are on notice:

Kevin Conway – This guy’s name barely shows up in a Google search, but he was declared NASCAR’s 2010 Rookie-of-the-Year by default. The idiot was the only rookie.

Travis Pastrana – We get it: you’re cool. We will see what happens in Indianapolis.

Danica Patrick – Ten years from now you will be doing B-List celebrity commentary for “Worlds’ Dumbest” with Tanya Harding.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. – The highest paid driver in NASCAR - $29 Million in 2010. His name accounts for a third of all licensed merchandise sales. Only thing more ridiculous: Jr.’s losing streak.   

Stephen Wallace – Your dad was great. You’re awful.

Chrissy Wallace – Two words: Weight Room.

The Sadler Family – Stick to commentary and fishing.

Thank You, Dale.

Overcome with emotion and high gravity beer, your Uncle Clark and a group of BRONAMETH readers celebrated the life of Dale Sr. at Tony’s pub in Athens, Ohio with a touching tribute: We made the place go silent with the NASCAR version of Amazing Grace. We memorized the one word of the song: “Three.”

Here are the Lyrics:

Amazing Grace – by BRONAMETH SPORTS

Three threeeeee, three threeeeeeee, three threeeee, three threeeeeeeeeee

Three threeeeeee, three  threeeeee, three threeeeeeeeeeeee. (Pause)

Three threeeeee, three, three, three, threeeeeeee, three threeeeee three, three, three, threeeeeee

Three three, three threeeeeeeeee, three threeeeeee.

I tried to record it, but my NASCAR-issued Sprint phone is jacked.

Serious Note: The lap-3 tribute was incredible to see. The man paid with his life to make our sport better. His reputation and his legacy define NASCAR. I personally will have my fingers up on the third lap of every race I attend. I suggest you do the same.

Thank You, Loser with Sword.

This song is available on I-Tunes. What would you do to get all up in the inter-web?

Personally, I’m not sure which is more hilarious...the obvious or the size of that window-mounted air-conditioning unit (around 3min50sec).

Phoenix International Raceway

The Subway Fresh Fit 500

Fox, 2:30 pm/et

BRO RANKINGS TO FOLLOW PRACTICE RESULTS

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Happy Crappy Monday Morning……Volume 17.0

Happy Crappy Monday Morning……Volume 17.0

By: J-Shannon

Another week is in the books, and another Crappy Monday is upon us. This week, we are covering everything from the hot chicks athletes come home to, to the kid who somehow finished first in the Daytona 500. Yes, this was a great week in sports, especially if you are a fan of the underdog. So here it is, the “I Just turned 20 and won the Daytona 500” edition of the Happy Crappy Monday Morning……

1 A Star is born at the Daytona 500……

I’m ready to make this statement: “I watched all of the Daytona 500, and I enjoyed the hell out of it.” Yes, thanks to Uncle Clark and Corey Rose, through the excitement they put forward in their writing, I decided it was time to sit down and crack open a good ol ‘Merican, and give NASCAR a chance. I have to tell you, I enjoyed every minute of the race. From the Drama of Earnhardt Jr. trying to win the race 10 years following the death of his father, to a virtually unknown driver crossing the checkered flag first, the entire race was full of drama and excitement. I also want to send some love to Trevor Bayne. This kid turned 20 the day before the race, and wins the Daytona 500 in only his second race. What is even funnier is that he isn’t even signed on to race an entire season. He is scheduled to only race half the season for the Wood Brothers, but that may change after Sunday. Take some time next week and watch the boys rub fenders back and forth in Phoenix. It is definitely worth your time.

2. Big East Basketball= Best in the Land….

If you think playing football in the SEC is tough, try scheduling a basketball season in the Big East. We haven’t talked much basketball this season, and that is mainly because there really isn’t any point until tournament time. But I watched a couple of games over the weekend, and have noticed one trend: The Big East is way out in front of the rest off college basketball. Currently, the Big East has 6 teams in the top 25, with three teams (West Virginia, St. John’s, and Marquette) sitting right outside the top 25. It is actually a little sad watching a game between 2 top notch Big East teams, and then flipping the channel to an SEC game or an ACC game. The level of play doesn’t even compare. I’m not sure who I am going to pick to win the tournament once March Madness rolls around, but I will tell you this…. Chances are pretty good the last school I have standing is a school from the Big East…..

3.  (By Chris McDonald)


Jason is going to let me steal a top 10 this week and to be fair to the Georgia/GATECH rivalry this here is what we call good ole fashioned hate. I literally hate Paul Hewitt. I have never in my life watched a basketball team who is so inept in so many areas play. They literally do not run an offense, they cant shoot Free Throws and I am pretty sure their inbounds plays resemble what it looks like in my 15 months old music class, a bunch of crying and running around aimlessly. Honestly, I am willing to throw in $100 towards the 6 million dollar buyout that he has (a big FU to Dave Braine-dead). Now that is not very much but have you seen the cost of overnight diapers these days? Joking aside he has to go. How much longer are we going to allow him to to be terrible? This is the freaking ACC and your in one of the best recruiting grounds in the country! Getting to the tournament once every 4 years and getting bounced in the 2nd round goes over about as well as a pregnant pole vaulter to serious Tech fans. Show this man the door!

4. Inspirational Story of the Week….

Everyone knows how big of a fan I am of shows like E:60, 30 for 30, and Real Sports. I love a good inspirational story as much as anyone else. I have decided to donate a segment of the Happy Crappy Monday to Inspirational stories. Not just because I feel like these stories need to get out there, but maybe it will remind you that having a Crappy Monday Morning at work isn’t as bad as what some other people go through…. Enjoy, and learn what it means to Pick Up Butch…..

5.  The Best Dunk for the Weekend wasn’t even in the Contest…..

Sometimes watching the Rookies vs. Sophomore Game is more interesting than the actual All Star game. Check out this sick nasty play from John Wall to Blake Griffin…..

6. Solid Prank on some upcoming First Round Draft Picks In the NFL….

So conditioning and preparing for the NFL draft can be very serious, and can break you down mentally. You have to add a little fun in to break up the monotony of day after day of working out. That’s why this prank was pulled on about 30 future NFL draft prospects. Enjoy….

7. Your boy Johnny Mac has got some serious comp...................

8. Photo of the Week:

This picture pretty much sums it up. Congrats to the 20 year old kid, who brought home the biggest prize in NASCAR, the Daytona 500 trophy. Congrats to the Kid….

9.“One-Liners” of the Week…..

* Charlie Sheen- The guy had a fantasy baseball party at his house over the weekend, inviting over       Kenny Lofton, Todd Zeile, Eddie Murray, Lenny Dykstra, and Brian Wilson from the SF       Giants. Sheen had the guys over to screen “Major League”, and also allowed them to       try on his 1927 World Series Ring, which was owned by Babe Ruth. 

*Marion Barber- The guy was detained by police this morning for disturbing the peace. Looks like it’s        not just NFL defenses who can easily detain Barber.

*Dwayne Wade- I did not realize the guy was dating Gabrielle Union, mad props to him…

*Bryant McKinney- The dude says F&*K a lockout, it’s just money. He dropped $100,000 K at a bar            Friday night in Hollywood.

*Dale Jr.-       The guy ran a good race, but fell short when he go into the wall late. He finished 24^th.

10. THE TOP 10 in the TOP 10…

In honor of me recently finding out Dwayne Wade is dating Gabrielle Union, I decided to put together the top 10 athletes who are dating smoking hot Hollywood dime pieces…. Enjoy…..

10 Dario Franchiitti- Indy Cars- What does every foreign Indy Car driver want; How about a hot country girl wife. That’s what Franchitti has; he is married to UK fan Ashley Judd.

9 Carmelo Anthony- Denver Nuggets- Anyone watch MTV in the 1990’s. There was a hot little V-Jay, her name was LaLa. Carmelo must have been a fan, because he ended up marrying LaLa recently.

8 Derek Jeter- New York Yankees- I love the way Jeter works, quietly, and without anyone knowing. He keeps his personal life to himself. But he is dating Jessica Biel.

7 Alex Rodriquez- New York Yankees- What’s better than having A-Rod’s talent on the baseball field? How about claiming his roster off the field. The guy has dated everyone, including Madonna. But these days, he is hanging with Cameron Diaz…. Not too Shabby….

6 Cristiano Ronaldo- Ronaldo is quite possibly the most famous soccer player in the world. But what do I like about him? He is dating Irina Shayk. Don’t know who that is? She is on this month’s cover of Sports Illustrated. She is only one of the hottest Supermodels in the country….

5 Tom Brady- New England Patriots- Talk about the perfect life, Tom Brady is living the dream. He has more money than he knows what to do  with, wins a Super Bowl almost every other year, and is married to the hottest Super Model in the Land, Gisele Bundchen.

4 Dwayne Wade – Miami Heat- When he isn’t balling on the courts of Miami, Dwanye Wade is cuddled up next to Gabrielle Union at home. Don’t know who she is? She has starred in movies such as Bring it on, The Brothers, and Bad Boys II.

3 David Beckham- LA Galaxy- Everyone knows Beckham is married to Posh Spice. Victoria was easily the hottest Spice girl in the group.

2 Mike Fisher- Ottawa Senators- The guy married one of the hottest girls in the country, singer Carrie Underwood. Who would have thought a rugged hockey player would end up with Unerwood, who is the absolutely perfect girl next door type.

1 Andy Roddick-Tennis: This one isn’t hard. The guy is married to Brooklyn Decker, who could be one of the hottest women on the planet. If you haven’t seen her, or know who I’m talking about, pick up a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition…..

As always, it has been a pleasure. Leave me your thoughts and comments on the facebook post…. See you all