Happy Crappy Monday Morning……Volume 9.0
By: J-Shannon
Good Afternoon and Happy Crappy Monday to you guys. This by far is the COLDEST edition of the Crappy Monday so far. Lots of changes and big things happened this weekend, and I’ll do my best to get you caught up on everything that went down. Also, Thanks for help Bro Nameth cross the 10,000 views this month. Your reading keeps us writing….. ENJOY.
1. Dirty Birdz Flying High Towards the Playoffs…..
Another NFL weekend is in the books, and another win by the Birds. They took on the pathetic looking Carolina Panthers this weekend, and put a hurting on the kittens. The Birds are rolling, and looking like they have their sights set on Dallas and the Super Bowl. Other than the New England Patriots, I can’t see anyone beating the Birds anytime soon. Matty Ice needs to continue just managing the game, and let the stars do what they have to do. Defensively, keep taking the ball away. I’m excited to see how deep this team goes….
2. Deuces Texas, Muschamp is out….
Things just got worse in Austin. Not only did the Longhorns have a horrible season, but it looks like they are also on the search for a new Defensive Coordinator. Muschamp threw up his deuces as he walked off the University of Texas campus, and is heading to Gator land. I give him credit, he was tired of waiting on Mack Brown to retire, and let’s face it, why not leave before the bad results in Texas start getting pointed his way…..Good Luck in Florida buddy, no pressure there…..
3. D-Bag on Jets Coaching Staff needs to get a Beat Down….
If you missed the Dolphins vs. the Jets game, you missed a D Bag of a moment. The strength and conditioning coach for the Jets, I don’t know his name, nor do I think he deserves my time to look it up, stuck his leg out and tripped a Miami player as he was running down the sideline. The play was over, and the Miami player had already stepped out of bounds. The coach then leans his knee forward, and trips the player, sending him flying to the ground. This guy needs some serious discipline handed down to him from the league. Don’t forget, Woody Hayes did something similar to this back in the day at Ohio State, and was fired….
4. Speaking of Deuces, so long Metro Dome….
So it is a good thing that the Vikings are sucking it up this year. They have no chance of making the playoffs, which is good, because they probably wouldn’t have an opportunity to have home field advantage even if they were good enough. The Dome decided today it had had enough of the snow, and caved in. Minnesota has gotten almost 2 feet of snow, and the roof of the Metro Dome completely collapsed. It is kind of fitting when you think about it, the Dome has imploded just like the season of the Vikings. Look at the bright side though; even Mother Nature respects “THE STREAK.” Favre said he would not have been able to play today, but because of mother nature, he has one more day of rest to see if he can give it a go tomorrow…..
5. Congrats Cam…
Congrats on the Heisman Trophy. I will be even more impressed if it and or the National Championship is still in good standing this time 2 years from now.
6. Snow Flurries Suck….
Look Mother Nature, if you are going to snow, then snow. If you are going to rain, then rain. Don’t do this BS flurry business. It pisses me off. I’m hoping for about a foot of snow in ATL this Christmas…..
7. SEC Coaching is Stacked….
Have you ever stopped to think about just how much talent there is in the SEC Coaching Ranks? What other conference can say they have three coaches who have won National Championships (4 Coaches if you are willing to admit that Gene Chizik will win one this season). I would have admitted during the season that the West was stronger when it came to coaches, but after this weekend The East might have the edge. With the addition of Muschamp, and probably Gus Malzahn, added to Mark Richt and Spurrier, you’re talking some serious talent.
8. Obama on Mythbusters….
Hey, did anyone else get to see the President on Mythbusters? Neither did I, but I do have one question…. Doesn’t he have more important things on his plate than being a television show? I’m all for not talking politics here on Bro Nameth, but this isn’t even politics, it’s just common sense. I don’t mind the president making public appearances, showing up on talk shows and talking politics, or anything like that, but being on a show like Mythbusters seems to me to be a waste of his time…
9. Kyle Singler is a Freak…
I know he is a tall, lanky white boy who plays for Duke. But the kid can play basketball. Not only can he play down low and make moves like a big man, but he can also stroke the Threes whenever he feels like it. But the most impressive thing about Singler is his trick shot ability. I actually don’t know what is more impressive, the fact that he makes all of these shots, or the fact that he has so much time to make a video like this…..He still looks like a goofy Ethan Hawke
10. The Top 10 in the Top 10…….
I was spending Sunday afternoon relaxing and flipping back and forth between The RED ZONE Channel (which by the way is the best channel in the history of television) and the movie Major League, and it got me thinking. I decided that for this week’s top 10, I was going to put together a list of goodies for you people to enjoy. Here it is, the Top 10:
TOP 10 FICTIONAL SPORTS MOVIE CHARACTERS OF ALL TIME….. ENJOY.
1. JESUS SHUTTLESWORTH- He Got Game- Jesus was a 5 star recruit from Brooklyn, New York, who was being recruited by every top school in the nation. He averaged 32 points and 12 boards his senior year. The kid was a baller…
Favorite Quote: “Basketball is like poetry in motion, cross the guy to the left, take him back to the right; he’s fallin’ back, then just J right in his face. Then you look at him and say “What?”
2. QUINCY MCCALL- Love and Basketball- Quincy’s father was an NBA player for the clippers for 12 years. Although he was highly touted out of high school, his decision to go Pro after his freshmen season was a bad call, and he ended up tearing up his Knee and being let go by the Laker's after his third year…..
Favorite Quote: “If basketball is all you care about, why you bonin’ me? Why don’t you bone Dick Vital?”
3. RICK “WILD THING” VAUGHN- Major League -Yea he spent time in the big house, but who cares? The man can throw a heater over 100 miles per hour. Who can forget his unique hair, his bad ass glasses, and his wardrobe?
Favorite Quote: “ I got news for you Mr. Brown, you haven’t heard the last of me. You may think I’m shit now, but someday you are gonna be sorry you cut me. I’m gonna catch on somewhere else and every time that I pitch against you I’m gonna stick it up your fuckin’ ass!”
4. GORDON BOMBAY- The Mighty Ducks- OK, so maybe he shouldn’t count because he is a coach. But what other guy can lead a crappy PEE WEE hockey team from St. Paul Minnesota, to the Jr. Goodwill games the next year and win gold? Of course his team was loaded with talent, with Goldberg, Adam Banks, the Bash Brothers, and Charlie Conway….
Favorite Quote: “Now here is the long and short of it: I hate hockey, and I don’t like kids.”
5. HAPPY GILMORE- Happy Gilmore- Happy was unique, bad ass, and also didn’t give a shit what anyone thought about him. He could hit the ball a mile, and finally developed a short game. Happy made golf relevant again….
Favorite Quote: “During high school, I played junior hockey and still hold two league records: most time spent in the penalty box; and I was the only guy to ever take off his skate and try to stab someone.”
6. WILLIE BEAMEN – Any Given Sunday- Beamen sat on the sidelines for the first 4 years of his career, but after the starting QB for the Miami Sharks went down, Beamen stepped up and lead the Sharks to the playoffs. It’s funny how similar his game looks to Mike Vicks… Not to mention Beaman had a sick music video….
Favorite Quote: “I’ve always been a star, ya’ll just didn’t know it yet.”
7. STEVE LATTIMER- The Program- Laittimer makes the cut strictly because he is a juiced up freak of nature. The man was huge in the movie, and made some plays. Yea he juiced, but what other Defensive end slams his head in a car windshield when he finds out he makes the starting lineup….
Favorite Quote: “Starting Defense! A place at the Table!”
8. BENNY “The Jet” RODRIGUEZ- The Sandlot Quite possibly my favorite baseball player growing up, the guy is known for the being in the biggest pickle in the history of baseball. Benny does the unthinkable, and hops the fence to challenge “The Beast” to a duel. He is successful, and eventually ends up playing for the LA Dodgers.
Favorite Quote: “Anyone who wants to be a can’t-hack-it pantywaist who wears their mama’s bra, raise your hand.”
9. SPIKE HAMMERSMITH- Little Giants- No, he wasn’t the main character in the movie. But Spike was a stud. Remember how he helped his dad unload the moving truck by putting the refrigerator on his back and carrying it in the house?
Favorite Quote: “Spike is in Hell. Spike is in Pee Wee football HELL”
10. HENRY ROWENGARTNER- Rookie of the Year- The only thing better than his ability to throw the high stinky cheddar down the pipe is his last name. Although his major league career only lasted one year, Henry was a stud for the Cubs.
Favorite Quote: “Hey, we want a pitcher, not an underwear snitcher.”
Leave me your thoughts and comments on the facebook post…. See you all Friday morning Suckazzzzzz.
