It’s Not Dustin Johnson’s Fault

For anyone that watched the PGA Championship, the last golf major of the year, you already know what this post is about…kind of. For those who need a recap, see below:

Dustin Johnson came into the final hole of the PGA Championship with a one stroke lead. With a par, he would be a twenty-six year old Major Champion. With a bogey, he would be in a three-man playoff with Martin Kaymer and Bubba Watson, both waiting and watching Johnson finish his round. With the nerves taking control, Johnson missed the fairway about forty-five yards right, into the gallery. His ball ended up sitting on a patch of sand and dirt that the gallery had been walking/sitting/spilling food on for days. He hits out of the patch of sand and dirt over the green into thick rough. With what looked like a tough shot, Johnson hit a brilliant pitch to eight feet from the cup; eight feet from his first major championship. After Johnson missed his putt, he knew he still had a chance to win in a playoff…or did he?

As he was shaking his hands with his caddy and opponent, he was approached by a rules official who had some awful news for Johnson; he had been disqualified from the playoff for grounding his club in the bunker. This fiasco lasted over twenty minutes before it was official, the playoff would take place with two golfers, neither of which was named “Dustin Johnson.”

At first, I thought Johnson was just screwed over. I could not believe the rules official would just take away his one chance at glory because of a technicality in an unmarked bunker. But then, I started thinking about the situation as a whole. Each players is given a sheet of rules before the tournament which talks specifically about the current course and anything that might be considered “different.” In this rules sheet, it specifically mentioned the amount of bunkers on the course and that they were all playing as the same hazard (which means that no club can be grounded without a penalty).

With all of this being said, who is to blame for the grounding the club incident? Clearly it was Dustin Johnson that grounded his club in the bunker, but I do not blame him. He is twenty-six years old and was three shots away from the biggest win of his life. Clearly, he had a lot on his mind. My question in this case is ‘where the hell was his caddy?’ Most people believe that a caddie is used to carry clubs and calculate distances. While this is true, this is not why pros use caddies. A caddy is there to stop the player from making dumb mental mistakes. They are paid to, at times, be the mind of the player when the player cannot think for himself. Clearly Dustin Johnson needed someone in this case to say, “Hey Dusty, don’t forget all sand is played as a hazard.” That one sentence could have been the difference in Dustin Johnson being the PGA Champion and him being talked about as the man the rules will haunt forever.

To make my point more clear, I want to show what Dustin Johnson’s caddy lost. First, it must be clear how a caddy is paid. Caddies are paid a flat rate per tournament (which is not too much) then they are paid a percentage of the player’s winnings (usually 5%). So, what did Johnson make in the tournament? He made $270,833.34. That is the prize money that he was awarded for his tied for 5th place finish. If his caddy was given 5% of the winnings, he would have walked away with $13,541.67. That sounds like a lot of money for a weekend of work. Now let’s see what would have happened if Johnson had won the tournament. The winner, Martin Kaymer, went home with $1,350,000.00. His caddy (assuming the 5% rule for each caddy, which can go higher per player) earned $67,500. That is quite a payday for a weekend worth of carry clubs, calculating distances and mental babysitting. While Johnson’s caddy cost himself just under $54,000 by staying silent, he cost Johnson over a million dollars! Over $1,000,000 was lost because his caddy forgot to do his job. I don’t know why no one else is talking about his caddy, but Dustin Johnson should be in the market for a new bagman.

I want to congratulate Johnson on his great run at the 2010 PGA Championship. Also, if anyone hears that Johnson is hiring a new caddy, please tell him that I have caddy experience and would love the work. I guarantee him that I will not personally lose him over $1,000,000 in a single tournament.

Until Next time…

Cowboys/Jets Super Bowl, Really??

Seems like every time the television gets turned to ESPN while NFL Live or Sportscenter is rambling on and on with predictions about this football season, two statements are made more often than not. "Out of the NFC I like the Cowboys to make the big game, and the
Jets are the front runners to make it out of the AFC." Really?? I could not disagree more for the following reasons. Cowboys: Tony Romo (he is not worthy of Tony BROmo). Really thats all I could say to justify my point because Romo chokes more than Bill Buckner. This is the guy who is going to lead you to the Promised Land? Better get him off the golf course and in the film room first. Forget about the Super Bowl, be worried about winning your division first and then maybe, MAYBE, win a playoff game (coughing noise) Wade Philips. Roy Williams can't decide if he wants to play like a number 1 receiver, Miles Austin is a fraud, and your rookie wide receiver hasn't played football at a competitive level in over a year (thanks Neon Deion for the advice). If not for your tandem of running backs, the passing game would be a joke anyway. Now, other than DeMarcus Ware, name two other players on their defense..........yea I couldn't either.

On to this other magical team in the NFL that all commentators and media folk alike are enamored with, the New York Jets. I like watching Hard Knocks just as much as the next guy, and yes, Rex Ryan is the epitome of a BRO, but they may not even be the best team playing in their new stadium. The NFL is a quarterback driven league, and the Jets quarterback is a fairly unproven second year player who lowers his head and tucks his tail between his legs after he doesn't complete a pass. Sure Sanchez was ok last season, but remember Matt Ryan's rookie year? He played great and lead the Falcons to a Wild Card playoff berth. Now I know your saying, "well Sanchez went to the AFC title game." I hear you Bro Montana, but Matt Ryan didn't have Darelle Revis and a number one defense on his team either. I will give the Jets props on the coaching staff, and obviously their nasty D as well. However, they better hope Sanchez doesn't throw as many picks as he is capable of throwing. Don't forget, at times, Braylon Edwards can't catch a beach ball at a Jimmy Buffet concert.

Who do I like? Quarterback driven league = NFC: Drew Brees and the defending Super Bowl Champion New Orleans Saints (I'm not being a homer). AFC: Peyton Manning and the Indianapolis Colts. However, my sleeper team is the Baltimore Ravens. That team is stacked. Joe Flacco only gets better with time, Ray Rice, and now throw in Anquan Boldin. Gah lee, I almost threw up on myself, that offensive trio is so gross.

I may be in the minority but when I hear the Super Bowl favorites for this 2010 NFL season are the Jets and Cowboys, I can't help but think, 'Really??'

Derek Lee, Frank Wrens report card and Troy Glaus takes some more kicks to the groin

Derek Lee:

The Braves made a huge pickup today acquiring Derek Lee from the Cubs for a Sams club box of sunflower seeds, a get out of jail free card and a couple tangerines. Not only is this a HUGE upgrade defensively but should provide a jump start to an offense who has been mediocre to say the least. If Prado can return to form and Lee can produce like the Derek Lee of old this Braves team is built to make a post season run. I have been BEGGING Frank Wren to get us a power bat since it was the one thing that seemed as if it might hold us back. The addition of Lee gives us a legit power bat who has post season experience (2003 Marlins, Cubs).

Frank Wren Report Card:

Kenshin Kawakami: F (hoooooooooo ahhhhkawakami herrreee ohhhhhhhh)
Derek Lowe: C- (innings chewer but overall not even worth close to 15 mill a year)
Chipper Jones Extension: C (the dudes falling apart. I get it but at this point a C at best)
Nate McLouth: D (only bc we gave up nothing for him)
Ankiel/Farnsworth: D- (not an F solely bc Farnsworth scares me. I liked Greg White)

GPA: 1.3


Troy Glaus Groin Kicks:


I challenge anyone out there who would like to defend Troy Glaus please stand up now or forever have less bars on your cell phone. Seriously, making fun on this guy is getting boring. No, no its not actually. Its a lot of fun bc hes terrible! It is not all his fault though. Name another pro player who swings a bat that weighs as much as most house cats? You cant! Watching the guy run to first to try and leg out a double play ball is almost as painful as watching reruns of Full House. Hey Troy, MegaTron called and whats his bat back. The Greeks used Troys' bat to build the horse and STILL had some fire wood left over.

I Just Conrad My Pants plus some kicks to the groin of Troy Glaus

Brooks Conrad. Brooks Brothers Conrad! BROOOOOKKKSS FREAKINGGG CONRAD!! What a BRO-king. BBC is one of the most clutch players I have seen in a really long time. Everytime up to the plate he looks like he is going to do something productive. What i like the best about BBC is that he takes nothing for granted. Since hes been a career minor leaguer he plays the game like he is on fire. If i have to watch another "star" trot down the line when they ground out weakly to 2nd base im going to break something. Oh im sorry, i know you make 15 million a year, please dont work to hard to run to first! BUMS!

This guy just gives off BRO vibe





This will probobly be a daily thing here at bronamethsports and that is bashing the ish out of Troy Glaus. Now i know he deposited a jack and coke yesterday but who cares, 1 HR every 30 games doesnt cut it. To say that Troy Glaus walks softly but carries a big stick is an understatement. Its a freaking log. I am really not sure how he ever pulls the ball with that gigantic piece of lumber. And yes the rumors are true, he did sue American Loggers for copyright infringement when the show became a success claiming "he is the American Logger". I found this clip of Troy some 60 lbs ago and hes literally swinging a toothpick. ENJOY!