Happy Crappy Monday Morning……Volume 19.0

Happy Crappy Monday Morning……Volume 19.0

By: J-Shannon

What is going on Bro Nameth World? It is your boy J-Shannon, and I’m back with another solid edition of the Happy Crappy Monday, volume 19. Another lazy weekend for me, although I did manage to get up and make it to the gym both days, so I’m pretty proud of that. This week, we cover everything from LeBron and “His Talents”, The President of the USA, some Charlie Sheen, a little March Madness Bubble Watch, and the famous Wonderlic Test……Sit back and relax, and enjoy the Crappy Ass Monday Morning…..

1. Where should LeBron take his talents next year?

Everyone was predicting all kinds of streaks for the Miami Heat this season. Anyone predict 4 in a row? That’s right, 4 losses in a row. The Bulls put a hurting on the Heat Sunday afternoon, giving the heat their 4^th loss in a row. Going into Sunday, the Bulls were 2-0 this season against the Heat, and were looking for the season sweep Sunday. Well, they got it. Think back to last time the Heat and Bulls played, $115 Million Dollar Man Chris Bosh went 1-19 from the field. 1-19. I’ll promise you one thing, I’ll bet my life on the fact that you give me $115 million; I will go better than 1-19. The shitty performance of Bosh got the blame for the loss, saying that he had a bad game, and ultimately that was the deciding factor. Well Bosh played better today; in fact all 3 members of the “Big 3” were over 20 in points. So what is the problem? Is it a coaching thing? Is it a chemistry thing? I’m not sure, but I will say that the Heat need to get their shit together, or there are going to be some pissed off people in South Beach……

2. Excuse me Mr. President, don’t you have more important S%#T to worry about?

So normally, we don’t talk politics at Bro Nameth. Not that we don’t care, but if we are going to waste our time on arguing a point, it is going to be about something we actually care about. Well, mark this down as the first time I bring up the President in the Happy Crappy Monday Morning. Why? Because it is my column, and I will write about whatever the hell I want to write about. So if we are going to bitch about politics, I’m going right to the top.

Don’t you think that President Obama has a few more issues he should worry about and comment on than the NFL? I mean don’t get me wrong, I think the NFL is amazing, and I don’t want to downplay the importance on the economy a lockout would bring. Let’s look at what he COULD be commenting on: the fact that the country is STILL at war, how horrible his healthcare bill is, the fact that the country pays more for a gallon of gas than a gallon of milk.

The president made a rather ignorant comment this weekend regarding the labor talks with the NFL. Here was the President’s view on the NFL labor talks:

“You’ve got owners, most of whom are worth close to a billion dollars,” Obama said.  “You’ve got players who are making millions of dollars.  People are having to cut back, compromise and worry about making mortgage [payments]. . . .  The two parties should be able to work it out without the President of the United States intervening. . . .  [F]or an industry that’s making $9 billion a year in revenue, they can figure out how to divide it up in a sensible way.”

Why do I have an issue with this statement? Yes, owners make Billions of dollars. But the majority of NFL players only make $200-$400 K annually. I’m not saying they are broke, but it’s not like $200 K is a lot of money these days. You want to talk about sensibility; you would think the President of a country that is spending just north of $100 BILLION annually on the Iraq War, would spend a little more time worrying about that problem…..

Start focusing on what is really important, and we will start calling you Bro-ack Obama. Until then, you’re not going to get much love from Bro Nameth…..

I’m just sayin…..

3. Charlie Sheen business partners with Mark Cuban?

Yes, you read that correctly. Mark Cuban and Charlie Sheen are in talks to put Charlie Sheen on a new TV Series on HDNet. Keep in mind Mark Cuban owns HDNet, so he can put whatever the hell he wants to on the Station. The new show is either going to be a talk show, or a Reality TV Show. Why wouldn’t you jump on this if you are the Cubes? First of all, everything he touches seems to turn into Billions. Second, everyone on the Planet is talking about Charlie Sheen these days. I know one thing, I’ll be watching…..

4. Jamaal Anderson may be the second worse defensive choice in the past 5 years…..

Why? Because ex Jet Vernon Gholston just may be the worse. The absolute dud of a defensive player was cut last week, no surprise to anyone. Think about this: The guy had a $9 Million Dollar Clause in his contract that stated if he was to have one forced fumble, one sack, or one fumble recovery in the 2010 season, he would earn an additional $9 Million on his contract. His total of the 3 last season=0. Look, even the absolute bust Jamaal Anderson manages to fall on the QB every now and then….

5. Bubble Watch….

The Best tournament in the world is right around the corner. Yes, I’m talking March Madness is almost upon us. It’s time to take a look at the handful of teams that are hopeful to get in the tournament, and the 4-5 who will be like the fat kid on the playground when teams are being picked…..translation: they won’t be participating…..

Florida State- What a difference a shot makes. Harrison Barnes Misses the 3pt. shot, and FSU wins and is a lock for the tournament. Now, it looks like they may have to win a game or 2 in the ACC tournament to get in the dance….

Marquette- It really sucks to be Marquette. They have a pretty good team, but they play in the Big East. Oh well, welcome to life in SEC Football. The biggest problem Marquette has is there are 10 teams in their conference better than them…..

Michigan State- They probably make the tournament because they are Michigan State. But their record is decent, although their Strength of Schedule is solid. I think Izzo and the boys are in….

Tennessee- It sure would have helped Bruce Pearl and the boys had they beat a #20 Kentucky team who were 1-6 on the road against SEC teams this year. Well, they blew it on senior night, so the only tournament they may be making is the NIT baby….

Alabama- It’s sad to say that the win the SEC west and still might not make the tournament. Yes, the SEC West is weak, but does Alabama still deserve to dance? The Tide did some things right, but lost some nasty games, and played high schools as a non conference schedule…. They may need to do some things in the SEC tournament next weekend…..

6. I almost feel Bad for Number 44, but not quite….

So with .7 seconds left in this NAIA semi-final game, Danielle Clausen makes a bold move. Check it out below. I’m not sure if what’s more impressive, the fact that she had the presence of mind to make the play, or the amount of people at a Concordia women’s college basketball game…..

7.  Inspirational Story of the Week….

Right here in our own backyard, a solid piece about what really drives Jason Heyward to play the game he loves… Get the tissues out….

8. Hottie of the Week (formerly known as Photo of the Week):

Let’s face it, the photo of the week would be a lot cooler if it was the Hottie of the week. Therefore, starting today, we will now dedicated number 8 to the Hottie of the week….. This Week: Rosie Jones.

9.“One-Liners” of the Week…

*Pete Rose- Looks like Pete is getting a divorce after 25 years of marriage, sorry bro…..

*Minnesota Vikings- Rumor has it they are going to go after Kyle Orton of Denver to be their next Starting QB…. There’s a long term plan….

*Rosie Jones- My new Celebrity Crush….

*Yoo-Hoo- Best Drink I haven’t had in the past 6 months….

10. THE TOP 10 in the TOP 10…

You know how we do this; it’s a weekly countdown of the Top 10 in the Top 10….

This week, coming off the NFL combine, I thought it would be nice to test the readers of Bro Nameth Sports, and see just what their IQ look likes. Here are 10 sample questions that would be on the Wonderlic Test, the test given to NFL Draft Prospect to see just how smart they really are…. See what you can do with these 10 questions……

1- PRESENT, RESENT - Do these words:

1.       Have Similar Meanings

2.       Have Contradictory Meanings

3.       Mean Neither the Same nor Opposite

2- A train travels 20 feet in 1/5 seconds at this exact speed, how many feet will it travel in three seconds?

3- When rope is selling at $.10 a foot, how many feet can you buy for sixty cents?

4- A boy is 16 years old and his sister is twice as old. When the boy is 22 years old, what will be the age of his sister?

5- What number is next in the following sequence:

32

31

29

26

22

?

6- FLAMMABLE, INFLAMMABLE - Do these words:

1.       Have Similar Meanings

2.       Have Contradictory Meanings

3.       Mean neither the same nor opposite

7- The hours of daylight and darkness in SEPTEMBER are nearest equal to the hours of daylight and darkness in:

1.       June

2.       March

3.       May

4.       November

8- Assume the first 2 statements are true. Is the final one:

1.       True

2.       False

3.       Not Certain

Ben greeted Beth. Beth greeted Bob. Ben did not greet Bob

9- In printing an article of 48,000 words, a printer decides to use two sizes of type. Using the larger type, a printed page contains 1,800 words. Using smaller type, a page contains 2,400 words. The article is allotted 21 full pages in a magazine. How many pages must be in smaller type?

10- Three individuals form a partnership and agree to divide all profits equally. X invests $9,000, Y invests $7,000 and Z invests $4,000. If the profits are $4,800, how much less does X receive than if the profits were divided in proportion to the amount invested?

All of the answers are in the comments section of the Blog. Leave how many you got right on the comments if you aren’t too embarrassed…..

As always, it has been a pleasure. Leave me your thoughts and comments on the facebook post…. See you all Friday morning Suckazzzzzz.

Friday Free For All…..Volume 17.0

Friday Free For All…..Volume 17.0

By: J-Shannon

FRIIIIDDDDAAAAYYYYY, Thank God, I didn’t think this day was coming. I personally have had one hell of a long week, and I’m looking forward to doing nothing more than throw up the feet on a coffee table, loosen the tie, and crack open an Ice Cold ‘Merican. We got lots to cover this Friday morning, so stop acting like you’re working and start reading. This week, we tackle great sports movie clips, having legal but illegal sex, the NFL, the most overrated college football team in the land, and another “Real Man of Genius.” Enjoy People…….

--The “I THINK YOU SHOULD KNOW” Story from this Week:

1. The NFL is making a BIG MISTAKE……

This may just be my opinion, but the NFL is making a HUGE MISTAKE. As of 9:17 Thursday night when I am writing this article, there has been no movement for putting together a new Collective Bargaining Agreement between the NFL and the Players Association. Let me break it down for the common folk as to what the real issues are all about:

The Team owners and players union are arguing over BILLIONS of dollars. What it boils down to is this, the Team Owners think they are owed more, and the players feel the same way.

Here is what pisses me off about the whole argument. If the league and players don’t agree to a new agreement, there could be a complete cancellation of the 2011 NFL Season. Now I will be EXTREMELY upset if there is no NFL season, but has everyone really stopped and thought about how many people this disagreement affects?

First, there will be NO pay for players. If you have a contract for 10 million or 500K, you aren’t getting a check. Sitting out a year probably won’t affect the Tom Brady’s and the Peyton Manning’s of the world, but what about the other 72% of NFL players who make $500K or less?

Second, almost every team has announced that Coaches and Staff will be taking pay cuts and or mandatory furlough days. Why; because if there is no season, there is no revenue. Billionaire owners don’t care if they are billionaires; they are going to cut cost when there is no revenue coming in. What did they do to deserve cuts? It’s not like they have any say over what goes down with the negotiations.

Last, keep in mind all of the hot dog vendors, beer men, stadium employees, television crews, restaurants, hotels, bars, strip clubs, merchandise workers, popcorn people, and everyone else who is involved in a game day. Their additional paychecks from the NFL season = 0.

--Thing that Have Pissed Me off This Week:

BYU Guard Brandon Davies…

So if you haven’t heard, BYU has a solid basketball team this year. They are on the verge of having one of the best teams they have ever had, and were on the verge of getting a Number 1 Seed in the NCAA Tournament. Well, Wednesday night they got the smack put down on them by New Mexico. Why? Maybe it was because their second leading scorer has been thrown off the team for breaking school honor code.

Now, here is what supposedly happened. Brandon broke school honor code by having sex with his girlfriend. As a result, he was kicked off the team.

You want my opinion? Stop whining about being kicked off the team. You are the one who chose to go to BYU, and you knew they had some serious rules and procedures. You are the one who signed the honor code, and you are the one who broke the rules. You shouldn’t feel bad you got kicked off the team; you should feel bad you let your teammates down. Look, the least you could do would have been keep the sex with the GF on the down low…. Step your game up Bro….

--Youtube Clips of the Week:

Notre Dame Bashing…..

Being that we are saluting the best “Real Men of Genius” commercials of all time, I came across this clip and HAD to include it in the Friday Morning Free for All. Definitely take the time to watch the clip; it is the perfect definition of a Notre Dame Football Fan…..

--My Favorite Sports Movie Scene of the Week:

New category, but really simple. Here is where I’m going to put in some of the absolute best sports movie scenes of all time…. This week:

“Has anyone ever told you you look like a little penis with a hat on?”

--Real Men of Genius Bro of the Week:

In honor of the kickoff of the 2011 NASCAR season, I felt it was only right to dedicate a portion of my Friday Free for All for the next few weeks to the “Real Men of Genius,” presented by ice cold ‘Merican Bud Light. This week, Bro Nameth Salutes you…….

Mr. Really Really Really Bad Dancer….

--Shout-Outs for the Week:

*LeBron James- I’ve had just about enough of “The King.” Like the decision wasn’t gay enough, he post this on Twitter just the other night “20+ games left in phase 2. I'm ReFOCUSED! No prisoners, I have no friends when at WAR besides my Soldiers.”

*Charlie Sheen- The guy is hilarious… enough said. He has the Balls and the Money to do whatever he wants….

*Serena Williams- Good luck on the road back from surgery….

*Chicago Cubs- The season hasn’t even started yet, and teammates are already fighting in the dugout. Solid.

*Green Bay Packers- Even though AJ Hawk led the team in tackles, you managed to convince him he was over paid, you then cut him, and then resigned him for less. Well Done!

*JaMarcus Russell- You got paid somewhere around 45 Million dollars for no reason, and you still got a house going into foreclosure. Nice move Bro…..

*Oregon Football- Looks like that run to the National Championship wasn’t a fluke. They actually have a little more in common with Auburn than making it to the big game. Oregon is being investigated by the NCAA for recruiting violations…..

As always, it’s been a pleasure. Leave a comment if you disagree with anything I got to say, and I’ll prove to you why you are wrong….. Check in again Monday Suckazzzzz.

Friday Free For All…..Volume 16.0

Friday Free For All…..Volume 16.0

By: J-Shannon

Welcome to another solid edition of the Friday Morning Free For All. Yea I know it is Friday afternoon, but get over it really. This week we will cover all kinds of topics, from Mascot beat downs, to over the top ridiculous NBA trades. Saddle up, Crack open an Ice Cold ‘Merican, and prepare to have your shorts blown off. It is time for another solid edition of the Friday Morning Free for All…..

--The “I THINK YOU SHOULD KNOW” Story from this Week:

Vegas, Vegas, Vegas. You have to love the town. Why? Because Vegas is the only place where everyone in the world can make money on opinion. Yes, I’m talking about sports gambling. These days, Vegas is allowing everyone to place bets, and they are allowing you to place bets on just about anything. This week, the NFL Scouting Combine kicks off in Indy, and yes, you can place a bet on some of the events at the combine. Thanks to Extra Mustard on CNNSI.COM, Here are some of the highlights on what you can bet on this week. Enjoy.

Who will have the fastest 40 Yard Dash Time?
Cam Newton(QB Auburn): -135
Jake Locker (QB Washington):Even


Who will have the fastest 40 Yard Dash Time?
Cam Newton (QB Auburn): -130
Tyrod Taylor (QB Virginia Tech): Even


Who will the most bench press repetitions?
Da'Quan Bowers (DE Clemson): Even
Nick Fairley (DT Auburn): -130


Who will have the highest vertical leap?
A.J. Green (WR Georgia): -130
Julio Jones (WR Alabama): Even

By the way, I’ll take Cam over Jake, Tyrod in the 40, Bowers with the most Bench Reps, and Julio Jones has better ups….

--Thing that Have Pissed Me off This Week:

 Nice Trade Hawks, as usual, you’re competing to stay mediocre…..

As usual, the Hawks have taken their first steps towards the second half of the season making moves to securely place them in the grasps of mediocrity. With the Knicks and Nets making Blockbuster trades to bolster their lineups with guys like Carmelo Anthony and Derron Williams, the Hawks decided they would step up and make a move. The Hawks approached the Washington Wizards with the proposition of taking their “STAR” point guard Kirk Hinrich in exchange for basically the future of the Hawks. Now don’t get me wrong, Hinrich is a step up from Bibby, who recently has been competing with Troy Glaus as the “Slowest Defensive Player in Professional Sports Athlete in Atlanta.” But they Hawks also gave away:

-Rookie Jordan Crawford: Crawford has a huge future ahead of him, however Atlanta Fans will never see him blossom.

-Maurice Evans: Who in my opinion was equivalent to Bibby, if not better?

-1^st Round Pick

So why does this piss me off? Because the Atlanta Spirit is the absolute worst ownership group in Sports. They constantly trade away solid players, and first round picks. Why do they do this? Because the Atlanta Spirit ownership group is CHEAP. I’m talking Rugged Warehouse, Dollar General Cheap. They don’t want first round picks, because they have to pay first round players money. Jordan Crawford is going to develop, but he was a high round pick himself, who is due money. What’s the best way not to pay Crawford? Trade him, and let someone else worry about his contract.

The Hawks will never make it past the 2^nd round of the playoffs. They don’t have the support of ownership backing the team. Until someone else comes in and buys the Hawks (and the Thrashers for that matter) expect MEDIOCRITY…….

P.S. Be on the lookout for an open letter from Bro Nameth Sports to the AJC…..

--Youtube Clips of the Week:

1. Wow, that’s pretty impressive….

2. I love when a coach gets pissed in a game and loses his mind. This week, the Honor goes to a minor league coach in the hockey ranks…..

--Personal Story of the Week…..

After a solid week at the office, I decided that I needed some good ol fashion rest and relaxation for the weekend. Thursday night, I picked up the wifey and checked out a solid ice cold ‘Merican beer drinking concert: Eric Church and Jason Aldean. I’m going to be honest; they put on a damn good story. Tonight, I’m heading to Camden, SC to see some good friends of mine. We have a solid night planned, starting with a little Japanese. After we knock out some shrimp and chicken, we are hitting up the Japanese Karaoke Bar, trust me, you can’t make this shit up. Once I rock out some Bon Jovi, we are going to head back to my boy’s house to continue drinking some ice cold ‘Mericans while sitting in the hot tub. Yea, be jealous, it’s going to be one hell of a night…..

--Real Men of Genius Bro of the Week:

In honor of the kickoff of the 2011 NASCAR season, I felt it was only right to dedicate a portion of my Friday Free for All for the next few weeks to the “Real Men of Genius,” presented by ice cold ‘Merican Bud Light. This week, Bro Nameth Salutes you…….

Mr. Way Too Much Cologne Wearer

--Shout-Outs for the Week:

*Utah Jazz- Way to let your star player run off your coach, and then trade your star. Now you got an overrated Derrick Favors as one of your biggest stars, and don’t have a chance to compete with the Lakers….

*Chicago Cubs- What are the Cubs doing to advertise? They are putting up billboards with MLB players around town. Funny thing is, they are pictures of Derek Jeter, not a Cubs player…..

*Angelina – The big booty bitch from Jersey Shore has a new gig, and she is going to Professional Wrestling. She just started wrestling for TNA Wrestling, no bullshit…

*New York Knicks- Way to actually be aggressive, and go out and make moves for your team that will have you taking a few steps forward over the next couple of years. Take note Hawks.

*Trevor Bayne- The kid is off to a good start, but he has already put his car into the wall this weekend at Phoenix. Welcome back to the real world kid.

*SMKA Productions- I am stealing a shoutout here from Jason. I have known these guys for quite a while now and they are doing some big things. I normally am not one to tell you to cut back on some good ole fashioned's but help my boys out and send $5 their way to help them get this album done. Bro Nameth looks out for their own. Make it happen.

As always, it’s been a pleasure. Leave a comment if you disagree with anything I got to say, and I’ll prove to you why you are wrong….. Check in again Monday Suckazzzzz.

Friday Free For All…..Volume 15.0

Friday Free For All…..Volume 15.0

By: J-Shannon

You’ve got to love this time of year. It has been 70 degrees or warmer all week, the NCAA basketball season is approaching March Madness, Friday marks opening day for the NCAA baseball season, and the 2011 NASCAR season is dropping the Green Flag this weekend. Oh yes, spring is in the air, and it feels just about as good as an ice cold ‘Merican, but not quite. I myself have a solid weekend planned, starting with checking out the Milton High School boys basketball playoff game. Why? Maybe because Milton is the #3 high school basketball team in the country, and they have 6 Division 1A players on their roster. Saturday is another event filled day, as I plan to cram as much college basketball into my day as possible. And then there is Sunday, where the Green flag will drop on 25 or so drivers looking to cock-block the Jimmy Johnson from a 6-pete. Yea I realize there will be more than 25 drivers racing this season, but let’s be honest; there is 25 at most who have an opportunity to bring home a NASCAR ‘Ship.

So here it is the “spring is just around the corner, can you taste it” edition of the Friday Morning Free for All……

--The “I THINK YOU SHOULD KNOW” Story from this Week:

1. High School Iowa Wrestler gives up State Title, refuses to wrestle girl….

I am not sexist by any means. I think that girls should have equal opportunities to everything that men do, including high school athletics. But is it right that a high school wrestler in Iowa defaulted rather than wrestle a girl? The wrestler, Joel Northrup, made a brief statement:

                “As a matter of conscience and my faith I do not believe that it is appropriate for a boy to            engage a girl in this manner. It is unfortunate that I have been placed in a situation not seen in          most other high school sports in Iowa."

Now is it my place to say that the kid should have wrestled the girl? No, but I do think that if girls want to wrestle in the state of Iowa or anywhere else in the country, it is their right. However, I think there should be a girls division or league separate from guys. What would have happened if this kid would have grabbed the female wrestler around the waste and dropped her on the head? Some people would have been upset. Well, that is the nature of sports, and more specifically boys wrestling. I respect the decision Joel Northrup made, but quite frankly, I don’t think the kid should have ever been put in the situation to make the decision….

2. 10 Years since we lost the Man in Black

I think it has to be said that it has been 10 years since we lost Dale Earnhardt. Not only was it a sad loss for NASCAR, but it was a sad loss for sports fans and society for that matter. This week, a moment of silence will be held during the third lap of the race, in honor of the late great NASCAR Legend. I will go on record and hand will be raised high in the air with three fingers up in his honor during that lap…..

--Things that Have Pissed Me off This Week:

Keeping it Classy Alabama Fans…..

Oh Alabama, your classiness has reached an all time high. Now I will be the first to admit that I have written some bad things about Auburn. I don’t like Gene Chizik, and I still believe that they bought a championship this year. But purposely poisoning the Oak trees at Auburn’s sacred Toomer’s Corner is terrible and downright bush league. So you’re bitter that your rival Auburn won the National Title? Tough Shit, you had your chance to do something about it, and the Tide choked. So I’m personally calling you out, Harvey Almorn Updyke, the 62 year old D-Bag who was responsible for the incident. At 62, shouldn’t you be doing other things a little more responsible than poisoning trees on a college campus? By the way, naming your children “Bear” and “Crimson” (true story by the way) is almost as pathetic as your attempt to quiet the celebration of Auburn’s National Championship.  Harvey, you are about as cool as AIDS in my eyes. I hope the judge decides that the best way to have you pay your debt to society is to have you dropped in the center of Auburn University, Where the student body can tar, feather, and beat you down exactly how Auburn beat down Alabama in the second of this year’s game…..

--Youtube Clip of the Week:

1. The guy wasn’t good enough to start for UCONN this season, but apparently all that time he spent screwing around on the practice field paid off……

2. In honor of the NASCAR season kicking off, here is the movie trailer to one of the best sports movies of all time, Enjoy…..

--The “LIVIN’ THE DREAM” Legend of the Week:

I know I have mentioned this before, but if you’re Andy Roddick, it’s quite obvious you are a “livin’ the dream” legend. First off, you have roughly 20 million stacks of Paper sitting in your bank account. You’re the best American tennis player around these days, and you travel the world on a regular basis to play the sport you love for money.

But the best part of Andy Roddick’s life, is the fact that when his match is over, he gets to go home and get a rub down from wifey Brooklyn Decker. Who is Brooklyn Decker? Unless you have been living with your head up your ass for the past year, she is the hottest swimsuit model in the land.

Andy Roddick, congrats my man, you are living the dream…. And are an inspiration for all of us at Bro Nameth….

--Real Men of Genius Bro of the Week:

In honor of the kickoff of the 2011 NASCAR season, I felt it was only right to dedicate a portion of my Friday Free for All for the next few weeks to the “Real Men of Genius,” presented by ice cold ‘Merican Bud Light. This week, Bro Nameth Salutes you…….

Mr. Silent Killer Gas Passer

 

--Shout-Outs for the Week:

- Uncle Clark and Corey Rose: Thanks to your superb contributions to Bro Nameth, you have me completely interested in NASCAR again, and I’m looking forward to the start of the season Sunday…..

- Brooklyn Decker- The 2011 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition is in stores and all I got to say is Andy Roddick is a lucky man….

-Miguel Cabrera- What a way to kick off MLB training camp, the guy was popped for DUI yesterday. What’s worse? He apparently had to be asked by the office to stop taking swigs of scotch while he was pulled over.

- Ronaldo- Congrats on a great career, and enjoy some retirement bro…..

-Cavs- I give you a lot of shit, but you actually managed to beat the Lakers last night. You deserve a shout out…..

-CC Sabathia- The man showed up to training camp 20 pounds lighter this week. What did he do different this offseason? He said the cut out the box of Cap’n Crunch he ate every morning for breakfast. Yea you read that right, an entire box.

As always, it’s been a pleasure. Leave a comment if you disagree with anything I got to say, and I’ll prove to you why you are wrong….. Check in again Monday Suckazzzzz.

Happy Crappy Monday Morning……Volume 16.0

Happy Crappy Monday Morning……Volume 16.0

By: J-Shannon

Its Monday people and I owe the world an apology. I have gotten extremely slack lately, and did not get a chance to complete my Friday Free for All, so I’m guessing most of you sat around and cried all day at your office. Look, you try having your girlfriend live a state away, and go 2-3 weeks without seeing her, and let me know if you would rather take the extra time to get the article written, or to get home to see the wifey. Yea, now you know what I mean. But, I will do what I have to do, and vow to never miss another article date, at least until I come up with an even better excuse than the one above. This week’s Happy Crappy Monday is loaded, filled with everything from heartfelt stories to Lady Ga Ga and her nut job ways. So kick your feet up on your desk, take another bite out of that donut you don’t need, and enjoy a Happy Crappy Monday……

1  And the Winner Is…….

Anyone know what today is? Yea it is Valentine’s Day, but something happens today that is much more important than Valentine’s Day. It is announcement day, the day that Jadeveon Clowney makes the announcement as to where he plans to play football for at least the next three years. The man has made the announcement that he has narrowed his choices down to three: Alabama, Clemson, and South Carolina. Here was my opinion pre-press conference:

Alabama: Yea, if I was the best defensive player in the country, of course I would consider going to Bama and playing for one of the best defensive coaches in the country. But here is the problem; he says his mother plays a huge roll in his decision, and the only thing she is saying is she wants him to be close to home. The kid lives in Rock Hill, SC, therefore, his ass ain’t going to Bama……

Clemson: This frightens me. I originally thought he was everything but locked to go to USC, until Clemson showed they were sandbagging on National Signing Day and brought in the Defensive recruits they brought in. You have to at least consider going to Clemson, if you have the opportunity to join the #1 OLB and #1` Inside LB in the country.

South Carolina: Well, you heard it hear at Bro Nameth First, but the kid will be going to USC. He has 3 of his best friends at USC already, and has told them he is on the way. Make way for a nasty Defense next year…..

CONCLUSION: Your boy is a Gamecock, and I got no problems with that. Let’s just hope the 18 year old freak show can live up to the crazy hype….

2. Gas Prices, They are Fu@*#NG Outrageous…..

What the hell is going on with Gas? Blame it on the weather, Blame it on Egypt, but it is bullshit to be paying $3.00 a gallon for Gas. You can almost get a nice massage and a tug from anywhere in downtown Atlanta for the same price. I filled my truck up last night, and it cost me $82.00. I could literally buy 4 cases of beer for that. It’s downright crazy, and should be considered rape……

3.  Tiger, the Sports Fan needs you back……

Look, I love golf. It is one of my favorite things in the world. Honestly, nothing is better than relaxing on a Sunday afternoon, kicking your feet up on the couch, and watching the final round of a major golf event. But hasn’t the excitement of Golf faded since Tiger took his nose dive? Golf is about as interesting these days as watching a high school girl’s basketball game. Whether you love Tiger or Hate him, you have to admit that Tiger not playing like Tiger hurts the sport. If Tiger gets back to the form he was playing with 4 years ago, Golf will become relevant again, and my Sunday afternoon’s will once again be interesting……

4. St. Louis Cardinals calling Big Albert’s Bluff……

So the St. Louis Cardinals are calling Albert’s Bluff, being that he has said if he doesn’t have a new contract by the start of training camp, he will walk at the end of the season. Whether or not he walks isn’t the question, the question is why in the hell would you even play with the possibility of letting the best baseball player this in the last 2 decades walk from your team? Is it Money? In this day and age, you pay the best player in the league what he deserves. Is it principles? You say as a team you will not bow down to a player, and that no player is bigger than the team. Yes, this is a true statement, but keep this thought in mind: The Pittsburgh Pirates have the “Team” concept as well, and they suck ass. You have possibly the best first basemen in the history of baseball on your roster, and you are calling his bluff if he walks or not. Not resigning

5. William the Fridge Perry, What a sad story…..

6. There needs to be more publicity for a story like this…….

I think that more sports stories like this need to be brought out front. The man donates a kidney to a player who hasn’t even played a game for him yet……

7. The NCAA is the Biggest Joke in Sports……

So the story above about the Wake Forrest Coach who donated his kidney to his dying player is a heartfelt story. I think it was absolutely remarkable for a Coach to do what he did for a player he barely knew. Here is the crazy part: The NCAA had to actually investigate to see if any recruiting violations would occur with the donation of the kidney. Look, I know that the NCAA has a huge problem with colleges paying off players, and illegally recruiting. But at some point, the NCAA has to use some common sense, and understand that some things are absolutely ridiculous. Just this past week, an NCAA basketball player’s mother dropped dead from a heart attack. Before the kid could book a flight back to the funeral, he had to fill out paperwork with the NCAA to show that he was paying for his own flight, so that he could go back to his hometown and lay to rest his mother. The NCAA needs to get its act together; it’s absolutely bush league…….

8. Photo of the Week:

Here he is Boys and Girls, the Grand Prize Freak of an athlete both Clemson and South Carolina are praying for today. The man is a freak, 6’6’’, 247 lbs. of Meat and Cheese…..

9.“One-Liners” of the Week…..

·         Lady Ga Ga- She shows up to the Grammy’s being carried by 4 dude in a spaceship looking contraption, can she beg for any more attention?

·         Renaldo- Deuces my man; you had one hell of a career. Enjoy retirement….

·         Peter Foresberg-  Deuces to you too as well. I hope you enjoy retirement, but did you really think that you could come back and play in the NHL after 3 years off?

·         Egypt-  Congrats…….

·         Mark Sanchez- So he hooked up with a 17 year old girl, I mean at least it was legal in that state….…..

10. THE TOP 10 in the TOP 10…

•  I have to drop this into the post because this kid is going to be the BRO of the week. This weeks top 10 is the 10 biggest punks who deserve bad things to happen to them

                  1-7: The 7 kids who jumped Nadin Khoury as he walked home from school: They were all older than he was and to be honest this makes me furious. Someone needs to lay some "Punisher" type justice on these guys.

                     8:  Kevin Garnett: I don't know what it is about KG but I literally cannot stand this guy. Yesterday he sets a brutal (yet legal) screen on Mike Miller. DWADE takes offense and shoves KG to the side on a rebound prompting a heated exchange. KG is easily the fakest tough guy in the league. Walks around like he is some kind of Bad ass yet hes a punk.

                     9:  The guys who develop the rules for the NCAA: I know we have already gone over this but seriously! Someone needs to drop an "END SCENE from CASINO" on these clowns. You know what im talking about.

                    10:  Barry Bonds: Nothing will make me feel better than Ole Fathead to go to jail for 3-5. It literally insults EVERYONES intelligence when he says he didn't juice. He sued Jack LaLaanne claiming he was the original "Power Juicer"...SHOCKER ALERT, the case is still pending trial.

Here is the Video of Nadin Khoury on The View. This kid is a champ...

As always, it has been a pleasure. Leave me your thoughts and comments on the facebook post…. See you all Friday morning Suckazzzzzz.



Happy Crappy Monday......Volume 13.0

Happy Crappy Monday Morning……Volume 13.0

By: J-Shannon

It is Monday Boys and Girls, and you all know what that means. It’s time for a solid edition of the Happy Crappy Monday. This week’s topics will cover the ManChild of a Quarterback Aaron Rodgers, as well as the world largest Vagina, Jay Cutler. Also included will be a little recruiting news, my Top 10 Pre-Season College Football Rankings, and a little more stuff that should make your day a little better. So sit back and relax, and enjoy this edition of the Happy Crappy Monday Morning.

1.       Packers still Rolling along…..

Wow. Aaron Rodgers is the real deal. I picked from the start that the Packers would handle the Falcons, and would be the scariest team in the playoffs. The Defense is stellar, and the only thing they were lacking during the season was a solid running game on the offense side of the ball. It looks like they figured out what is going on with the run game. Think back to about 4 years ago, when the Packers told an aging Brett Favre that they were making the move to the younger, more in shape Aaron Rodgers. Some Packers fans were disappointed. I don’t hear any of those same fans complaining these days.  Aaron Rodgers defined what type of player he is when Bears DE Julius Peppers almost took his head off in the third quarter. If you paid attention, Rodgers got back up, spit out a mouthful of blood, and continued to orchestrate a perfect game. The Packers look to be a team to be reckoned with over the next 5-7 years. If you were to add to their lineup another solid, young running back, with maybe a third or fourth round wide receiver pick, this team will be loaded.

2.       It May not be Pretty, but Big Ben does 1 Thing: WIN…..

Well, he doesn’t throw 400 yards a game. He doesn’t throw for 4 touchdowns. But you know what he does do? He wins. And he wins often. Big Ben is 10-2 in the playoffs in his career; that is second best all time among Quarterbacks who have played in more than 10 playoff games. He is a large man, and has the ability to shrug off defensive players. The best thing he does is continue to make big plays, when it counts. Big Ben has the ability to roll out of the pocket, and keep the play going when nothing is open in the beginning. This is when he does his damage. The bad part about it, there is no defense for a QB who continues to drag out the play until someone gets open. Yea he made some mistakes in the beginning of the season, but you haven’t really heard anything about that lately have you?

3.        No American’s left in Australia

So I know I don’t watch as much Tennis as most people, but can we not get an American to step up and do some work in the Tennis game. The Australian Open is going on, but it looks like every American has already booked their flights home, being that none are left in the event. What is the deal USA…. Step your game up. 

4.       Mark Sanchez: Wiping Boogers on Teammates……

You know, it is bad enough being Mark Brunell. The guy is 40 years old, been in the league for 20 years, and still somehow is bankrupt. Not only that, but you have to ride the pine pony while a young Mark Sanchez has been anointed the chosen one for the Jets. But to make matters even worse, Sanchez treats Brunell like the bottom of a cafeteria table. Check out what he does to old Brunell during Sunday’s game…..

5.       Brooklyn Decker= Enough Said

I hated on you for already losing the Australian Open, but you did win the ultimate prize. Here is the woman married to Andy Roddick…..You know what? Shes so hot it wont let me upload her photo so give her the ole google.

6.       A little Jay Cutler Bashing for the Bro Nameth Followers…..

It looks like I wasn’t the only one who thought Jay Cutler played like a Puss this weekend. After his “Severe” knee injury, you know the one that allowed him to walk all around the sidelines during the second half of the game, many present and former NFL players used Twitter to express their feelings on Cutler. Thanks to Extra Mustard for these Tweets.

Bucs Linebacker Derrick Brooks: Hey, There is no medicine for a guy with no guts and heart

Maurice Jones Drew: Hey, I think the Urban Meyer Rule is in effect right now…When the going gets tough, QUIT.

Cardinals Safety Kerry Rhodes: Cmon Cutler you have to come back. This is the NFC Championship if you didn’t know.

Primetime Deion Sanders: Folks I never question a players injury, but I do question a players heart. TRUTH

Mark Schlereth: As a guy who has had over 20 knee surgeries, you’d have to drag me out on a stretcher to leave a championship game.

7.       A little Too Much….

Yea, I would be extremely happy to be going to the Super Bowl too. But Rashad Mendenhall may have taken his celebration a little too far…..

8.       More Jay Cutler Bashing: 

Did you know one of the Executive Producers of the Vagina Monologues is Jay Cutler? Cutler signed a 2 year $5,000,000 contract with Vagisil this past offseason. His favorite movie on his bio page is Too Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything! Julie Newmar.

9.       “Deuces” of the week…….

You know how the “Deuces” works, so here they are……

·         Carson Palmer- Carson wants a trade. He says he is fed up with the Bengals. Carson, you had Ochocinco and TO last season on your squad, along with Cedric Benson. I don’t think anyone is going to be upset you’re leaving…..

·         New York Jets-  Back to your Foot Fetish Rexy, your season is history.

·         Chicago Bears- Sorry Bears. Maybe you’ll have a better backup quarterback plan next season than Todd Collins.

·         Jack LaLanne- The original workout Guru, passed away at 92.

10.   THE TOP 10 in the TOP 10….

Yea it is early, but it is never too early to look ahead at my preseason projected top 10 for next season….. Here it is.

10. OKLAHOMA STATE COWBOYS- They have a good squad, but did lose their offensive   Coordinator to West Virginia. If they can overcome the loss, they will have a good season.                

9.    MICHIGAN STATE SPARTANS-The Spartans are still a little pissed they won a piece of the Big Ten, and sat at home during BCS games and watched other teams play. Look for this chip on their shoulder to lead them to a BCS game this year.

8.    WISCONSIN BADGERS- They play smash mouth football. They run the ball, and run the ball well. Wisconsin should have a hell of a run in 2011. 

7.    TEXAS A&M AGGIES- It’s nice to have Coach Mike Sherman. It is also nice to return almost every starter from an already good team. Texas A&M is letting people know there is another team in Texas other than the Longhorns.

6.    FLORIDA STATE SEMINOLES- Replacing Christian Ponder is first priority, but the Seminoles always have talent down in Florida. Look for them to repeat winning their division in the ACC

5.    STANFORD CARDINAL- They lost their coach to the NFL, but their guaranteed Number 1 Draft pick of a QB decided he wanted to enjoy college a little more. Look for Andrew Luck to lead Stanford far this season.

4.    LSU TIGERS- Les Miles is back. Their Defense is nasty. This team is loaded with talent, and play with a swagger.

3.    OREGON DUCKS- The core of their national championship team is back. QB Darron Thomas is back, along with Heisman finalist LaMichael James. Add in the fact that they play in the Pac 10, there is a good chance they are back in the National Championship.

2.    ALABAMA CRIMSON TIDE- Recruits, Recruits, Recruits. They are loaded. Trent Richardson is going to step up, and take the starting Running back title. Watch out for Bama this season.

1.       OKLAHOMA SOONERS- Almost all starters back, including starting QB Landry Jones and Receiver Ryan Broyles. It will hurt to lose Demarco Murray, but they are loaded with talent. 

Honorable Mentions: Be on the lookout for: South Carolina, Boise State, TCU, Notre Dame, Nebraska, Ohio State, and Arkansas…..

As always, it has been a pleasure. Leave me your thoughts and comments on the facebook post…. See you all Friday morning Suckazzzzzz.