Friday Free For All…..Volume 16.0

Friday Free For All…..Volume 16.0

By: J-Shannon

Welcome to another solid edition of the Friday Morning Free For All. Yea I know it is Friday afternoon, but get over it really. This week we will cover all kinds of topics, from Mascot beat downs, to over the top ridiculous NBA trades. Saddle up, Crack open an Ice Cold ‘Merican, and prepare to have your shorts blown off. It is time for another solid edition of the Friday Morning Free for All…..

--The “I THINK YOU SHOULD KNOW” Story from this Week:

Vegas, Vegas, Vegas. You have to love the town. Why? Because Vegas is the only place where everyone in the world can make money on opinion. Yes, I’m talking about sports gambling. These days, Vegas is allowing everyone to place bets, and they are allowing you to place bets on just about anything. This week, the NFL Scouting Combine kicks off in Indy, and yes, you can place a bet on some of the events at the combine. Thanks to Extra Mustard on CNNSI.COM, Here are some of the highlights on what you can bet on this week. Enjoy.

Who will have the fastest 40 Yard Dash Time?
Cam Newton(QB Auburn): -135
Jake Locker (QB Washington):Even


Who will have the fastest 40 Yard Dash Time?
Cam Newton (QB Auburn): -130
Tyrod Taylor (QB Virginia Tech): Even


Who will the most bench press repetitions?
Da'Quan Bowers (DE Clemson): Even
Nick Fairley (DT Auburn): -130


Who will have the highest vertical leap?
A.J. Green (WR Georgia): -130
Julio Jones (WR Alabama): Even

By the way, I’ll take Cam over Jake, Tyrod in the 40, Bowers with the most Bench Reps, and Julio Jones has better ups….

--Thing that Have Pissed Me off This Week:

 Nice Trade Hawks, as usual, you’re competing to stay mediocre…..

As usual, the Hawks have taken their first steps towards the second half of the season making moves to securely place them in the grasps of mediocrity. With the Knicks and Nets making Blockbuster trades to bolster their lineups with guys like Carmelo Anthony and Derron Williams, the Hawks decided they would step up and make a move. The Hawks approached the Washington Wizards with the proposition of taking their “STAR” point guard Kirk Hinrich in exchange for basically the future of the Hawks. Now don’t get me wrong, Hinrich is a step up from Bibby, who recently has been competing with Troy Glaus as the “Slowest Defensive Player in Professional Sports Athlete in Atlanta.” But they Hawks also gave away:

-Rookie Jordan Crawford: Crawford has a huge future ahead of him, however Atlanta Fans will never see him blossom.

-Maurice Evans: Who in my opinion was equivalent to Bibby, if not better?

-1^st Round Pick

So why does this piss me off? Because the Atlanta Spirit is the absolute worst ownership group in Sports. They constantly trade away solid players, and first round picks. Why do they do this? Because the Atlanta Spirit ownership group is CHEAP. I’m talking Rugged Warehouse, Dollar General Cheap. They don’t want first round picks, because they have to pay first round players money. Jordan Crawford is going to develop, but he was a high round pick himself, who is due money. What’s the best way not to pay Crawford? Trade him, and let someone else worry about his contract.

The Hawks will never make it past the 2^nd round of the playoffs. They don’t have the support of ownership backing the team. Until someone else comes in and buys the Hawks (and the Thrashers for that matter) expect MEDIOCRITY…….

P.S. Be on the lookout for an open letter from Bro Nameth Sports to the AJC…..

--Youtube Clips of the Week:

1. Wow, that’s pretty impressive….

2. I love when a coach gets pissed in a game and loses his mind. This week, the Honor goes to a minor league coach in the hockey ranks…..

--Personal Story of the Week…..

After a solid week at the office, I decided that I needed some good ol fashion rest and relaxation for the weekend. Thursday night, I picked up the wifey and checked out a solid ice cold ‘Merican beer drinking concert: Eric Church and Jason Aldean. I’m going to be honest; they put on a damn good story. Tonight, I’m heading to Camden, SC to see some good friends of mine. We have a solid night planned, starting with a little Japanese. After we knock out some shrimp and chicken, we are hitting up the Japanese Karaoke Bar, trust me, you can’t make this shit up. Once I rock out some Bon Jovi, we are going to head back to my boy’s house to continue drinking some ice cold ‘Mericans while sitting in the hot tub. Yea, be jealous, it’s going to be one hell of a night…..

--Real Men of Genius Bro of the Week:

In honor of the kickoff of the 2011 NASCAR season, I felt it was only right to dedicate a portion of my Friday Free for All for the next few weeks to the “Real Men of Genius,” presented by ice cold ‘Merican Bud Light. This week, Bro Nameth Salutes you…….

Mr. Way Too Much Cologne Wearer

--Shout-Outs for the Week:

*Utah Jazz- Way to let your star player run off your coach, and then trade your star. Now you got an overrated Derrick Favors as one of your biggest stars, and don’t have a chance to compete with the Lakers….

*Chicago Cubs- What are the Cubs doing to advertise? They are putting up billboards with MLB players around town. Funny thing is, they are pictures of Derek Jeter, not a Cubs player…..

*Angelina – The big booty bitch from Jersey Shore has a new gig, and she is going to Professional Wrestling. She just started wrestling for TNA Wrestling, no bullshit…

*New York Knicks- Way to actually be aggressive, and go out and make moves for your team that will have you taking a few steps forward over the next couple of years. Take note Hawks.

*Trevor Bayne- The kid is off to a good start, but he has already put his car into the wall this weekend at Phoenix. Welcome back to the real world kid.

*SMKA Productions- I am stealing a shoutout here from Jason. I have known these guys for quite a while now and they are doing some big things. I normally am not one to tell you to cut back on some good ole fashioned's but help my boys out and send $5 their way to help them get this album done. Bro Nameth looks out for their own. Make it happen.

As always, it’s been a pleasure. Leave a comment if you disagree with anything I got to say, and I’ll prove to you why you are wrong….. Check in again Monday Suckazzzzz.

Bayne to Drivers: Put up or Shut Up

Bayne to Drivers: Put up or Shut Up

By Uncle Clark

Danica Patrick is going to need a sexier fire-suit to stay in this sport. The woman completed the 2010 season with an average finish of 28^th thanks to her HUGE pass on the closing laps of the Ford 300 where she overtook Sam Hornish Jr. for 19^th place. Friggen amazing.

Ladies, there are only 43 cars in the field. On average, 10 cars head to garage before they complete 100 laps. That means she beat out 5 drivers to cross the finish line.

Here is the problem: I am giving her too much credit. This is the Nationwide Series and Danica is supposed to be a pedigree player. In three of her 13 starts, Danica was one of those 10 cars heading to the garage. She finished on the lead lap in one race. The rest of the time Danica was dodging beer cans coming in late to the final turn.

READER QUESTION: Clark, why in the eff are we talking about Danica Patrick?

ANSWER:  Because 20-year-old Trevor Bayne won the Daytona 500 – The Great American Race – in his second start as a Sprint Cup driver. Start. Number. Two. We’re talking about Danica, because T. Bayne showed up to Daytona in his Ford F150 with Bojangles wrappers on the floorboards (unconfirmed) and a duffle bag of t-shirts. We’re talking about Danica, because T. Bayne made a statement to her and all “developmental” drivers with his race weekend in Daytona: Put up or shut up.

The dude was ready when he parked his truck. His performance in the Gatorade Duel is proof enough. Jeff Gordon went to T. Bayne – a rookie with the largely forgotten Woods Brothers race team – and tapped him as his drafting partner. His performance was remarkable. Bayne’s ability to control the car at both ends of the draft was beyond impressive. He was one of the first drivers to recognize the need to stay out of the side-drafts of opposing pairs as the turbulent air produced would send Bayne and his partner backwards. The garage saw every move he and Gordon made. The kid had earned his respect even with the rookie stripes taped to his back bumper. Bayne took that respect, matched it with momentum and won the Daytona 500.

Final Laps of the 500:

But we’re not here to talk about Trevor Bayne. This article is about Danica and all the “developmental” drivers out there. T. Bayne just tightened your deadline. He did it with a part-time race team. He did it without a private jet to take him there. He did it with a car void of top-dollar sponsorship dollars. T. Bayne’s message to you: Win or get out. These folks are on notice:

Kevin Conway – This guy’s name barely shows up in a Google search, but he was declared NASCAR’s 2010 Rookie-of-the-Year by default. The idiot was the only rookie.

Travis Pastrana – We get it: you’re cool. We will see what happens in Indianapolis.

Danica Patrick – Ten years from now you will be doing B-List celebrity commentary for “Worlds’ Dumbest” with Tanya Harding.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. – The highest paid driver in NASCAR - $29 Million in 2010. His name accounts for a third of all licensed merchandise sales. Only thing more ridiculous: Jr.’s losing streak.   

Stephen Wallace – Your dad was great. You’re awful.

Chrissy Wallace – Two words: Weight Room.

The Sadler Family – Stick to commentary and fishing.

Thank You, Dale.

Overcome with emotion and high gravity beer, your Uncle Clark and a group of BRONAMETH readers celebrated the life of Dale Sr. at Tony’s pub in Athens, Ohio with a touching tribute: We made the place go silent with the NASCAR version of Amazing Grace. We memorized the one word of the song: “Three.”

Here are the Lyrics:

Amazing Grace – by BRONAMETH SPORTS

Three threeeeee, three threeeeeeee, three threeeee, three threeeeeeeeeee

Three threeeeeee, three  threeeeee, three threeeeeeeeeeeee. (Pause)

Three threeeeee, three, three, three, threeeeeeee, three threeeeee three, three, three, threeeeeee

Three three, three threeeeeeeeee, three threeeeeee.

I tried to record it, but my NASCAR-issued Sprint phone is jacked.

Serious Note: The lap-3 tribute was incredible to see. The man paid with his life to make our sport better. His reputation and his legacy define NASCAR. I personally will have my fingers up on the third lap of every race I attend. I suggest you do the same.

Thank You, Loser with Sword.

This song is available on I-Tunes. What would you do to get all up in the inter-web?

Personally, I’m not sure which is more hilarious...the obvious or the size of that window-mounted air-conditioning unit (around 3min50sec).

Phoenix International Raceway

The Subway Fresh Fit 500

Fox, 2:30 pm/et

BRO RANKINGS TO FOLLOW PRACTICE RESULTS

Read. Comment. Like us on Facebook (never thought I’d say that, but it helps our BRO RATINGS). Be Redneck.

Happy Crappy Monday Morning……Volume 17.0

Happy Crappy Monday Morning……Volume 17.0

By: J-Shannon

Another week is in the books, and another Crappy Monday is upon us. This week, we are covering everything from the hot chicks athletes come home to, to the kid who somehow finished first in the Daytona 500. Yes, this was a great week in sports, especially if you are a fan of the underdog. So here it is, the “I Just turned 20 and won the Daytona 500” edition of the Happy Crappy Monday Morning……

1 A Star is born at the Daytona 500……

I’m ready to make this statement: “I watched all of the Daytona 500, and I enjoyed the hell out of it.” Yes, thanks to Uncle Clark and Corey Rose, through the excitement they put forward in their writing, I decided it was time to sit down and crack open a good ol ‘Merican, and give NASCAR a chance. I have to tell you, I enjoyed every minute of the race. From the Drama of Earnhardt Jr. trying to win the race 10 years following the death of his father, to a virtually unknown driver crossing the checkered flag first, the entire race was full of drama and excitement. I also want to send some love to Trevor Bayne. This kid turned 20 the day before the race, and wins the Daytona 500 in only his second race. What is even funnier is that he isn’t even signed on to race an entire season. He is scheduled to only race half the season for the Wood Brothers, but that may change after Sunday. Take some time next week and watch the boys rub fenders back and forth in Phoenix. It is definitely worth your time.

2. Big East Basketball= Best in the Land….

If you think playing football in the SEC is tough, try scheduling a basketball season in the Big East. We haven’t talked much basketball this season, and that is mainly because there really isn’t any point until tournament time. But I watched a couple of games over the weekend, and have noticed one trend: The Big East is way out in front of the rest off college basketball. Currently, the Big East has 6 teams in the top 25, with three teams (West Virginia, St. John’s, and Marquette) sitting right outside the top 25. It is actually a little sad watching a game between 2 top notch Big East teams, and then flipping the channel to an SEC game or an ACC game. The level of play doesn’t even compare. I’m not sure who I am going to pick to win the tournament once March Madness rolls around, but I will tell you this…. Chances are pretty good the last school I have standing is a school from the Big East…..

3.  (By Chris McDonald)


Jason is going to let me steal a top 10 this week and to be fair to the Georgia/GATECH rivalry this here is what we call good ole fashioned hate. I literally hate Paul Hewitt. I have never in my life watched a basketball team who is so inept in so many areas play. They literally do not run an offense, they cant shoot Free Throws and I am pretty sure their inbounds plays resemble what it looks like in my 15 months old music class, a bunch of crying and running around aimlessly. Honestly, I am willing to throw in $100 towards the 6 million dollar buyout that he has (a big FU to Dave Braine-dead). Now that is not very much but have you seen the cost of overnight diapers these days? Joking aside he has to go. How much longer are we going to allow him to to be terrible? This is the freaking ACC and your in one of the best recruiting grounds in the country! Getting to the tournament once every 4 years and getting bounced in the 2nd round goes over about as well as a pregnant pole vaulter to serious Tech fans. Show this man the door!

4. Inspirational Story of the Week….

Everyone knows how big of a fan I am of shows like E:60, 30 for 30, and Real Sports. I love a good inspirational story as much as anyone else. I have decided to donate a segment of the Happy Crappy Monday to Inspirational stories. Not just because I feel like these stories need to get out there, but maybe it will remind you that having a Crappy Monday Morning at work isn’t as bad as what some other people go through…. Enjoy, and learn what it means to Pick Up Butch…..

5.  The Best Dunk for the Weekend wasn’t even in the Contest…..

Sometimes watching the Rookies vs. Sophomore Game is more interesting than the actual All Star game. Check out this sick nasty play from John Wall to Blake Griffin…..

6. Solid Prank on some upcoming First Round Draft Picks In the NFL….

So conditioning and preparing for the NFL draft can be very serious, and can break you down mentally. You have to add a little fun in to break up the monotony of day after day of working out. That’s why this prank was pulled on about 30 future NFL draft prospects. Enjoy….

7. Your boy Johnny Mac has got some serious comp...................

8. Photo of the Week:

This picture pretty much sums it up. Congrats to the 20 year old kid, who brought home the biggest prize in NASCAR, the Daytona 500 trophy. Congrats to the Kid….

9.“One-Liners” of the Week…..

* Charlie Sheen- The guy had a fantasy baseball party at his house over the weekend, inviting over       Kenny Lofton, Todd Zeile, Eddie Murray, Lenny Dykstra, and Brian Wilson from the SF       Giants. Sheen had the guys over to screen “Major League”, and also allowed them to       try on his 1927 World Series Ring, which was owned by Babe Ruth. 

*Marion Barber- The guy was detained by police this morning for disturbing the peace. Looks like it’s        not just NFL defenses who can easily detain Barber.

*Dwayne Wade- I did not realize the guy was dating Gabrielle Union, mad props to him…

*Bryant McKinney- The dude says F&*K a lockout, it’s just money. He dropped $100,000 K at a bar            Friday night in Hollywood.

*Dale Jr.-       The guy ran a good race, but fell short when he go into the wall late. He finished 24^th.

10. THE TOP 10 in the TOP 10…

In honor of me recently finding out Dwayne Wade is dating Gabrielle Union, I decided to put together the top 10 athletes who are dating smoking hot Hollywood dime pieces…. Enjoy…..

10 Dario Franchiitti- Indy Cars- What does every foreign Indy Car driver want; How about a hot country girl wife. That’s what Franchitti has; he is married to UK fan Ashley Judd.

9 Carmelo Anthony- Denver Nuggets- Anyone watch MTV in the 1990’s. There was a hot little V-Jay, her name was LaLa. Carmelo must have been a fan, because he ended up marrying LaLa recently.

8 Derek Jeter- New York Yankees- I love the way Jeter works, quietly, and without anyone knowing. He keeps his personal life to himself. But he is dating Jessica Biel.

7 Alex Rodriquez- New York Yankees- What’s better than having A-Rod’s talent on the baseball field? How about claiming his roster off the field. The guy has dated everyone, including Madonna. But these days, he is hanging with Cameron Diaz…. Not too Shabby….

6 Cristiano Ronaldo- Ronaldo is quite possibly the most famous soccer player in the world. But what do I like about him? He is dating Irina Shayk. Don’t know who that is? She is on this month’s cover of Sports Illustrated. She is only one of the hottest Supermodels in the country….

5 Tom Brady- New England Patriots- Talk about the perfect life, Tom Brady is living the dream. He has more money than he knows what to do  with, wins a Super Bowl almost every other year, and is married to the hottest Super Model in the Land, Gisele Bundchen.

4 Dwayne Wade – Miami Heat- When he isn’t balling on the courts of Miami, Dwanye Wade is cuddled up next to Gabrielle Union at home. Don’t know who she is? She has starred in movies such as Bring it on, The Brothers, and Bad Boys II.

3 David Beckham- LA Galaxy- Everyone knows Beckham is married to Posh Spice. Victoria was easily the hottest Spice girl in the group.

2 Mike Fisher- Ottawa Senators- The guy married one of the hottest girls in the country, singer Carrie Underwood. Who would have thought a rugged hockey player would end up with Unerwood, who is the absolutely perfect girl next door type.

1 Andy Roddick-Tennis: This one isn’t hard. The guy is married to Brooklyn Decker, who could be one of the hottest women on the planet. If you haven’t seen her, or know who I’m talking about, pick up a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition…..

As always, it has been a pleasure. Leave me your thoughts and comments on the facebook post…. See you all