Happy Crappy Monday Morning……Volume 17.0

Happy Crappy Monday Morning……Volume 17.0

By: J-Shannon

Another week is in the books, and another Crappy Monday is upon us. This week, we are covering everything from the hot chicks athletes come home to, to the kid who somehow finished first in the Daytona 500. Yes, this was a great week in sports, especially if you are a fan of the underdog. So here it is, the “I Just turned 20 and won the Daytona 500” edition of the Happy Crappy Monday Morning……

1 A Star is born at the Daytona 500……

I’m ready to make this statement: “I watched all of the Daytona 500, and I enjoyed the hell out of it.” Yes, thanks to Uncle Clark and Corey Rose, through the excitement they put forward in their writing, I decided it was time to sit down and crack open a good ol ‘Merican, and give NASCAR a chance. I have to tell you, I enjoyed every minute of the race. From the Drama of Earnhardt Jr. trying to win the race 10 years following the death of his father, to a virtually unknown driver crossing the checkered flag first, the entire race was full of drama and excitement. I also want to send some love to Trevor Bayne. This kid turned 20 the day before the race, and wins the Daytona 500 in only his second race. What is even funnier is that he isn’t even signed on to race an entire season. He is scheduled to only race half the season for the Wood Brothers, but that may change after Sunday. Take some time next week and watch the boys rub fenders back and forth in Phoenix. It is definitely worth your time.

2. Big East Basketball= Best in the Land….

If you think playing football in the SEC is tough, try scheduling a basketball season in the Big East. We haven’t talked much basketball this season, and that is mainly because there really isn’t any point until tournament time. But I watched a couple of games over the weekend, and have noticed one trend: The Big East is way out in front of the rest off college basketball. Currently, the Big East has 6 teams in the top 25, with three teams (West Virginia, St. John’s, and Marquette) sitting right outside the top 25. It is actually a little sad watching a game between 2 top notch Big East teams, and then flipping the channel to an SEC game or an ACC game. The level of play doesn’t even compare. I’m not sure who I am going to pick to win the tournament once March Madness rolls around, but I will tell you this…. Chances are pretty good the last school I have standing is a school from the Big East…..

3.  (By Chris McDonald)


Jason is going to let me steal a top 10 this week and to be fair to the Georgia/GATECH rivalry this here is what we call good ole fashioned hate. I literally hate Paul Hewitt. I have never in my life watched a basketball team who is so inept in so many areas play. They literally do not run an offense, they cant shoot Free Throws and I am pretty sure their inbounds plays resemble what it looks like in my 15 months old music class, a bunch of crying and running around aimlessly. Honestly, I am willing to throw in $100 towards the 6 million dollar buyout that he has (a big FU to Dave Braine-dead). Now that is not very much but have you seen the cost of overnight diapers these days? Joking aside he has to go. How much longer are we going to allow him to to be terrible? This is the freaking ACC and your in one of the best recruiting grounds in the country! Getting to the tournament once every 4 years and getting bounced in the 2nd round goes over about as well as a pregnant pole vaulter to serious Tech fans. Show this man the door!

4. Inspirational Story of the Week….

Everyone knows how big of a fan I am of shows like E:60, 30 for 30, and Real Sports. I love a good inspirational story as much as anyone else. I have decided to donate a segment of the Happy Crappy Monday to Inspirational stories. Not just because I feel like these stories need to get out there, but maybe it will remind you that having a Crappy Monday Morning at work isn’t as bad as what some other people go through…. Enjoy, and learn what it means to Pick Up Butch…..

5.  The Best Dunk for the Weekend wasn’t even in the Contest…..

Sometimes watching the Rookies vs. Sophomore Game is more interesting than the actual All Star game. Check out this sick nasty play from John Wall to Blake Griffin…..

6. Solid Prank on some upcoming First Round Draft Picks In the NFL….

So conditioning and preparing for the NFL draft can be very serious, and can break you down mentally. You have to add a little fun in to break up the monotony of day after day of working out. That’s why this prank was pulled on about 30 future NFL draft prospects. Enjoy….

7. Your boy Johnny Mac has got some serious comp...................

8. Photo of the Week:

This picture pretty much sums it up. Congrats to the 20 year old kid, who brought home the biggest prize in NASCAR, the Daytona 500 trophy. Congrats to the Kid….

9.“One-Liners” of the Week…..

* Charlie Sheen- The guy had a fantasy baseball party at his house over the weekend, inviting over       Kenny Lofton, Todd Zeile, Eddie Murray, Lenny Dykstra, and Brian Wilson from the SF       Giants. Sheen had the guys over to screen “Major League”, and also allowed them to       try on his 1927 World Series Ring, which was owned by Babe Ruth. 

*Marion Barber- The guy was detained by police this morning for disturbing the peace. Looks like it’s        not just NFL defenses who can easily detain Barber.

*Dwayne Wade- I did not realize the guy was dating Gabrielle Union, mad props to him…

*Bryant McKinney- The dude says F&*K a lockout, it’s just money. He dropped $100,000 K at a bar            Friday night in Hollywood.

*Dale Jr.-       The guy ran a good race, but fell short when he go into the wall late. He finished 24^th.

10. THE TOP 10 in the TOP 10…

In honor of me recently finding out Dwayne Wade is dating Gabrielle Union, I decided to put together the top 10 athletes who are dating smoking hot Hollywood dime pieces…. Enjoy…..

10 Dario Franchiitti- Indy Cars- What does every foreign Indy Car driver want; How about a hot country girl wife. That’s what Franchitti has; he is married to UK fan Ashley Judd.

9 Carmelo Anthony- Denver Nuggets- Anyone watch MTV in the 1990’s. There was a hot little V-Jay, her name was LaLa. Carmelo must have been a fan, because he ended up marrying LaLa recently.

8 Derek Jeter- New York Yankees- I love the way Jeter works, quietly, and without anyone knowing. He keeps his personal life to himself. But he is dating Jessica Biel.

7 Alex Rodriquez- New York Yankees- What’s better than having A-Rod’s talent on the baseball field? How about claiming his roster off the field. The guy has dated everyone, including Madonna. But these days, he is hanging with Cameron Diaz…. Not too Shabby….

6 Cristiano Ronaldo- Ronaldo is quite possibly the most famous soccer player in the world. But what do I like about him? He is dating Irina Shayk. Don’t know who that is? She is on this month’s cover of Sports Illustrated. She is only one of the hottest Supermodels in the country….

5 Tom Brady- New England Patriots- Talk about the perfect life, Tom Brady is living the dream. He has more money than he knows what to do  with, wins a Super Bowl almost every other year, and is married to the hottest Super Model in the Land, Gisele Bundchen.

4 Dwayne Wade – Miami Heat- When he isn’t balling on the courts of Miami, Dwanye Wade is cuddled up next to Gabrielle Union at home. Don’t know who she is? She has starred in movies such as Bring it on, The Brothers, and Bad Boys II.

3 David Beckham- LA Galaxy- Everyone knows Beckham is married to Posh Spice. Victoria was easily the hottest Spice girl in the group.

2 Mike Fisher- Ottawa Senators- The guy married one of the hottest girls in the country, singer Carrie Underwood. Who would have thought a rugged hockey player would end up with Unerwood, who is the absolutely perfect girl next door type.

1 Andy Roddick-Tennis: This one isn’t hard. The guy is married to Brooklyn Decker, who could be one of the hottest women on the planet. If you haven’t seen her, or know who I’m talking about, pick up a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition…..

As always, it has been a pleasure. Leave me your thoughts and comments on the facebook post…. See you all 

Happy Crappy Monday Volume 6

Happy Crappy Monday Morning……

It is Thanksgiving week people, which means although it is a crappy Monday Morning, most of us only have a couple of days of work this week, then a long weekend ahead. Most people I know are looking forward to Drinks Wednesday night, Turkey Day Thursday, Shop til you drop Friday, and Rivalry football Friday. So happy Turkey day to all, and enjoy. Here is your Top Ten for the week.

1. Dirty Birdz are Rolling….

Don’t look now, but the Dirty Birdz are 8-2. They are doing something this season that they have struggled to do the past couple of years, and that is win on the road. It’s not pretty, but a win is a win. Matty Ice continues to impress, throwing for 253 yards and 2 touchdowns. Michael Turner, racks up another 131 yards and a touchdown himself. Roddy White seems to be on pace to have somewhere around 150 receptions, adding another 9 this game. Next week, the Birdz have a huge game against a much improved Packers team.

2. What out for the other Bulldogs…

Maybe not this year, and it might not be next year, but the Mississippi State Bulldogs are going to be a nasty team for the years to come. Dan Mullen has completely changed the attitude in Starkville, and he has his kids believing they can compete with anyone. SEC East teams rotate who they play from the West, and in the past, you would be overjoyed to see the Mississippi State Bulldogs pop up on the schedule. Not anymore, I think coach Mullen should be in the running for Coach of the year in the SEC for the turnaround he has had with that program.

3. Jimmie Johnson wins 5 straight NASCAR Championships…

Jimmie Johnson has won his 5th Championship in a row in NASCAR. Although it’s NASCAR, winning 5 Championships in a row in anything is impressive, not that I or anyone else I know watched any part of his season.

4. Richard Seymour Bitch Slaps Roethlisberger….

It looks like the chick in Milledgville, GA isn’t the only one who is tired of Ben Roethlisberger’s crap. Richard Seymour apparently had enough of it this weekend, as he bitch slapped Ben like a $20 Hooker. Seymour was ejected from the game, and I got news for him, he should expect to cut a check to the NFL for about $50,000. In case you missed, here is the clip:

5. The IVY in Buckhead….

Checked out a new spot on Roswell Road Saturday night, The Ivy, and I highly recommend getting brotivated there. I like to rate Bars and Restaurants in 5 categories from 1-10, adding up the totals, and 50 being a perfect score. Categories are: Atmosphere, Talent Level, Cheddar Factor, Drink accessibility, and Playlist.

Atmosphere- 8…… Pretty good atmosphere in this place. Multiple rooms and levels to enjoy. There is a wide variety of booths, tables, couches, and sitting areas. Also orders all big fights on the many 50’ Plasmas around the place. Had to wait in a short line to get in, but no cover, and line moved pretty quickly.

Talent Level 9…… This one is pretty easy to explain, there were lots of girls there, and 80% of them were dimes. It was about a 50,50 ratio, which isn’t the best, but at least the majority were top shelf.

Cheddar Factor 7….. Prices are sometimes the key to a good spot. The drink prices at Ivy aren’t bad at all. $3.50 beers, $6 liquors. Shots weren’t bad either.

Drink Accessibility 6..... The place consists of one large bar in the middle of the place, and an outdoor cabana bar. There would They would have gotten a 4 for this category, considering you couldn’t even remotely get to the middle bar, and the fact that you had to walk outside to the other bar just blows. However, a cash only bar was discovered in the back of the place, with no line, and easy access. My suggestions, bring cash, and head to the back for drinks.

Playlist 10….. Capping off the categories is Playlist, and the Ivy gets a perfect score here. DJ did a great job of mixing it up, playing new rap hits, and sometimes smashing them with some old school flavor. He knew when the place needed a slow down, and he knew when it was time to kick the atmosphere up a notch….

Final Score= 40…. Meaning check it out, and be ready to have some fun. If you are a part of the entourage that is going to be crashing at my crib for the SEC Championship weekend, plan on seeing for yourself first hand Friday, December 3rd.

6. Backstreet Boys and New Kids on the Block…

Really, these guys are still trying to perform. You’ve got the Backstreet boys, who can’t handle the fact that the 90’s are over, and The New Kids On the Block, who I honestly didn’t know if all members were still alive. They performed together at the AMA awards last night to close out the show. Really, of all the great artist and performers in the country, your Grand Finale is that combo? Step your game up AMA’s, that performance was about as cool as Herpes.

7. Blake Griffin Posterizing…

I think Blake Griffin finally realized although he is playing in the NBA in Los Angeles, he actually plays for what should be the D-League Clippers, and not the defending champion Lakers. Since this realization, he decided to take his anger out on the entire Knicks team. Just ask Timofey Mozgov, the Center for the Knicks, who now has an opportunity to be a poster on the walls of many kids in the USA, thanks to Blake. If you missed it, here it is:

8. Remember how accurate I was last week, well…..

So I made a prediction Last Friday morning on what it would take for the Gamecocks to upset the Gators and win the East. I hit the nail on the head, and was 100% perfect. Last Friday, I make another prediction, which can be viewed by clicking here. So far, I’m 50% accurate, being that the Packers slayed the Vikings. We’ll have to wait until Tuesday to see if Chilly is going to stay in Minnesota…..

9. Fried Turkey Time….

There is only one way to eat Turkey in my opinion, and that way is fried turkey. I have a great recipe my family has been using for about 15 years now. I cook one for my fellow bro Chris and he fell in love. Shoot me a comment on facebook, and I’ll be glad to hook you up with the recipe.

10. The Top 10 in the Top 10

In honor of this past week’s events, I have outlined my top 10 Biggest Draft Bust of all time. No particular order. Enjoy, and let me know if you agree or disagree.

1. JAMARCUS RUSSELL (#1 overall) 2007 Raiders- Overweight, terrible work ethic, and absolutely no character. That’s exactly who I would draft #1 overall and guarantee $39 million to. Another great decision by Al Davis.

2. RYAN LEAF- (#2 overall) 1998 San Diego Chargers- Back in 1998, the Colts had a choice they were wrestling with: Take Ryan Leaf #1, or a guy named Peighton Manning. The colts took Manning, the Chargers jumped on Leaf, and the rest is history. Leaf disappeared out of the league faster than a virgin on prom night.

3. GREG ODEN (#1 overall) 2007 Portland Trailblazers- The kid looked like he was 40 in high school. Had a great year at Ohio State, but has only played 84 games in three seasons. Can’t stay healthy, is already out for this entire season, and to make it worse, they passed on a guy named Kevin Durant to take Oden.

4. SAM BOWIE (#2 overall) 1984 Portland Trailblazers- Look, Sam didn’t have a bad career. The reason he makes the list is because of who the 3rd overall pick was that day, a guy named Michael Jordan.

5. DARKO MILICIC (#2 overall) 2003 Detroit Pistons- He might end up having a good career, maybe, but I know a couple of guys who were drafted after him def. will. Carmelo Anthony, Dwayne Wade, and Chris Bosh were all passed up on by Detroit.

6. JOSH HAMILTON (#1 overall) 1999 Tampa Bay Rays- Don’t get all pissy, I know what you are thinking, Josh Hamilton is a stud. Yes he is, but he was drafted by the Rays, taken over Barry Zito, Ben Sheets, Josh Beckett and Brett Meyers. He then started to become MIA, and was subsequently suspended by the MLB for the 2004, 2005, and 2006 seasons. He did absolutely nothing for the Rays.

7. CHARLES RODGERS (#2 overall) 2003 Detroit Lions- You should have known from the start he was a bust, he was drafted by the Lions. Had a promising first couple of games, scoring 3 touchdowns in his first 2 games. After that, broke his collar bone 2 years in a row, before being suspended for that Substance Abuse Rule the NFL has in place.

8. KWAME BROWN- (#1 overall) 2001 Washington Wizards- First pick under the Air Jordan Regime and MJ wasn’t very brotivated when he made this pick. Kwame was taken out of high school over guys like Pau Gasol, Jason Richardson, Richard Jefferson, and Tony Parker.

9. JOEY HARRINGTON- (#3 overall) 2002 Detroit Lions- Oh the Lions, they just cant get it right. Harrington was suppose to be the savior in Detroit, but as their picks usually go, he was a bust. Harrington was taken over guys like Bryant McKinney, Roy Williams (The good one), Dwight Freeney, Albert Haynesworth, and Ed Reed.

10. TIM COUCH – (#1 overall) 1999 Cleveland Browns- Tim was a stud in college, but never amounted to squat in the Pros. A couple of other players who were passed up by Cleveland did turn out being stars. Guys like Donavan McNabb, Edgerrin James, Champ Bailey, and Dre Bly. Oh yea, a guy named Donald Driver wasn’t drafted until the 7th round.

That’s it boys and girls. I’ll keep everyone posted on a Friday Morning Free for All this week. If I seem to be able to pull myself away from Turkey and football long enough Thursday, then I will. Until then, enjoy Turkey Day Skeezers, and Enjoy the short week……