The Music is in the Air

I want to offer some constructive criticism for the Atlanta Braves. Don’t get me wrong, they are in first place and are playing great ball. Any team that can win more than they lose with Derek Lowe pitching deserves praise. I am very impressed with where they are this point in the season, especially without much help from the front office. The criticism that I have is only for some of the players. Tonight, we will be discussing intro songs and what needs to change.

Brian McCann comes out to an array of songs, but most commonly “All I Do is Win.” My advice to McCann is to change his song to “Help” by the Beatles. Maybe Frank Wren will get the hint!

Now that Chipper Jones is out for the season, I don’t want to pick on him too much. With that disclaimer already written, let’s be honest. He came out to “Crazy Train,” which is a great song. What he should have played was the one thought constantly running though his mind… “It’s Five O’clock Somewhere.” With that being played, no one would have to question why he missed 95% of all day games.

Matt Diaz comes out to “Take My Life” by Jeremy Camp. I will skip all of the obvious connotations with that song and I want to commend him for throwing that idea out there. I am impressed that he chose a Christian song. Christianity’s main focus is on the afterlife, and I hope Diaz’ focus is on life after baseball. While I give him credit for making it to The Bigs, I hope he is saving money. Rather than think of a new song, I suggest he keeps convincing Frank Wren that power is overrated.

Troy Glaus comes out to “It’s Tricky” by Run D.M.C. That is a much better choice than his self-written parody of Sir Mix A Lot, called “I Like Big Bats.”

Jason Heyward has a great song choice in “Kryptonite.” The only other choice I would suggest is the Mighty Mouse theme song, “Here I Come To Save The Day.”

I would be talking about Nate McLouth changing his song too, but he is too busy in AAA listening to “Everybody Hurts” by REM.

Until Next time…

Chipper Jones, Frank Wren and a little Troy Glaus Talk

Chipper Jones heard a POP. Not the normal pop he hears when he opens a new bottle of Crown Royal as he holds it down in a VIP room over at Opera. No this pop was his ACL. First off let me start out by saying that I have been a die hard Braves fan for as long as I can remember. My parents used to take me to games and one of my best memories was when Bream slid in safe at home and my dad started chucking me up in the air. Chipper going down means the Braves are in trouble. We dont have 1 legit power bat in the lineup outside of BMAC that plays on a regular basis. Dont get me wrong, its not like Chipper has been stroking it this year but he still scares people. No one is scared of Omar "Gooding" Infante and surely no one is scared of Rick Ankiel or Melky Cabrera. Oh by the way Melky, Paul Bunyan called and wants his ax chopping back. Troy Glaus used to be scary until he realized he was Troy Glaus. Thanks a lot Frank Wren. Not only have you tied our hands with the contracts of Derek Lowe, Chiper Jones and  Kenshin Kawakami, but you gave us very little to get excited over with the aquiring of Rick Ankiel and Farnsworth. Any fool out there could see we needed a LEGIT bat in our lineup and just like your predecessor your out to prove your smarter than everyone else. Well jokes on you BROheim. Ankiel sucks some kind of nasty and is a career .248 hitter with a whopping .310 OBP. Your boy Jeff Francoeur has the same OBP!! Dont fear, Frank Wren got us Rick Ankiel! What a joke. I hate to sound so pessimistic but the Braves are in trouble. The Phillies have been playing without their best 2 players for 2 weeks now and 1 of their best 2 players for almost 3 months and they have cut our lead down to 2 games. If we dont make the playoffs this year you can point to Frank Wren and his inability to do anything right as the reason were sitting at home come this October.

Troy Glaus is so easy to make fun of that is sometimes gets old. Actually it never gets old and I do it almost everyday. What I cant figure out is how he is allowed to use a telephone pole for a bat? Isnt that against some kind of rules or regulations? For all you AT&T users out there, have you ever noticed everytime he swings you get more bars? The further away from turner field you are the more likely you are to drop a call. Have u also ever noticed he has never broken a bat? Thats bc its a freaking telephone pole! A baseball stands no chance against that hunk of lumber.