Friday Free For All…..Volume 16.0

Friday Free For All…..Volume 16.0

By: J-Shannon

Welcome to another solid edition of the Friday Morning Free For All. Yea I know it is Friday afternoon, but get over it really. This week we will cover all kinds of topics, from Mascot beat downs, to over the top ridiculous NBA trades. Saddle up, Crack open an Ice Cold ‘Merican, and prepare to have your shorts blown off. It is time for another solid edition of the Friday Morning Free for All…..

--The “I THINK YOU SHOULD KNOW” Story from this Week:

Vegas, Vegas, Vegas. You have to love the town. Why? Because Vegas is the only place where everyone in the world can make money on opinion. Yes, I’m talking about sports gambling. These days, Vegas is allowing everyone to place bets, and they are allowing you to place bets on just about anything. This week, the NFL Scouting Combine kicks off in Indy, and yes, you can place a bet on some of the events at the combine. Thanks to Extra Mustard on CNNSI.COM, Here are some of the highlights on what you can bet on this week. Enjoy.

Who will have the fastest 40 Yard Dash Time?
Cam Newton(QB Auburn): -135
Jake Locker (QB Washington):Even


Who will have the fastest 40 Yard Dash Time?
Cam Newton (QB Auburn): -130
Tyrod Taylor (QB Virginia Tech): Even


Who will the most bench press repetitions?
Da'Quan Bowers (DE Clemson): Even
Nick Fairley (DT Auburn): -130


Who will have the highest vertical leap?
A.J. Green (WR Georgia): -130
Julio Jones (WR Alabama): Even

By the way, I’ll take Cam over Jake, Tyrod in the 40, Bowers with the most Bench Reps, and Julio Jones has better ups….

--Thing that Have Pissed Me off This Week:

 Nice Trade Hawks, as usual, you’re competing to stay mediocre…..

As usual, the Hawks have taken their first steps towards the second half of the season making moves to securely place them in the grasps of mediocrity. With the Knicks and Nets making Blockbuster trades to bolster their lineups with guys like Carmelo Anthony and Derron Williams, the Hawks decided they would step up and make a move. The Hawks approached the Washington Wizards with the proposition of taking their “STAR” point guard Kirk Hinrich in exchange for basically the future of the Hawks. Now don’t get me wrong, Hinrich is a step up from Bibby, who recently has been competing with Troy Glaus as the “Slowest Defensive Player in Professional Sports Athlete in Atlanta.” But they Hawks also gave away:

-Rookie Jordan Crawford: Crawford has a huge future ahead of him, however Atlanta Fans will never see him blossom.

-Maurice Evans: Who in my opinion was equivalent to Bibby, if not better?

-1^st Round Pick

So why does this piss me off? Because the Atlanta Spirit is the absolute worst ownership group in Sports. They constantly trade away solid players, and first round picks. Why do they do this? Because the Atlanta Spirit ownership group is CHEAP. I’m talking Rugged Warehouse, Dollar General Cheap. They don’t want first round picks, because they have to pay first round players money. Jordan Crawford is going to develop, but he was a high round pick himself, who is due money. What’s the best way not to pay Crawford? Trade him, and let someone else worry about his contract.

The Hawks will never make it past the 2^nd round of the playoffs. They don’t have the support of ownership backing the team. Until someone else comes in and buys the Hawks (and the Thrashers for that matter) expect MEDIOCRITY…….

P.S. Be on the lookout for an open letter from Bro Nameth Sports to the AJC…..

--Youtube Clips of the Week:

1. Wow, that’s pretty impressive….

2. I love when a coach gets pissed in a game and loses his mind. This week, the Honor goes to a minor league coach in the hockey ranks…..

--Personal Story of the Week…..

After a solid week at the office, I decided that I needed some good ol fashion rest and relaxation for the weekend. Thursday night, I picked up the wifey and checked out a solid ice cold ‘Merican beer drinking concert: Eric Church and Jason Aldean. I’m going to be honest; they put on a damn good story. Tonight, I’m heading to Camden, SC to see some good friends of mine. We have a solid night planned, starting with a little Japanese. After we knock out some shrimp and chicken, we are hitting up the Japanese Karaoke Bar, trust me, you can’t make this shit up. Once I rock out some Bon Jovi, we are going to head back to my boy’s house to continue drinking some ice cold ‘Mericans while sitting in the hot tub. Yea, be jealous, it’s going to be one hell of a night…..

--Real Men of Genius Bro of the Week:

In honor of the kickoff of the 2011 NASCAR season, I felt it was only right to dedicate a portion of my Friday Free for All for the next few weeks to the “Real Men of Genius,” presented by ice cold ‘Merican Bud Light. This week, Bro Nameth Salutes you…….

Mr. Way Too Much Cologne Wearer

--Shout-Outs for the Week:

*Utah Jazz- Way to let your star player run off your coach, and then trade your star. Now you got an overrated Derrick Favors as one of your biggest stars, and don’t have a chance to compete with the Lakers….

*Chicago Cubs- What are the Cubs doing to advertise? They are putting up billboards with MLB players around town. Funny thing is, they are pictures of Derek Jeter, not a Cubs player…..

*Angelina – The big booty bitch from Jersey Shore has a new gig, and she is going to Professional Wrestling. She just started wrestling for TNA Wrestling, no bullshit…

*New York Knicks- Way to actually be aggressive, and go out and make moves for your team that will have you taking a few steps forward over the next couple of years. Take note Hawks.

*Trevor Bayne- The kid is off to a good start, but he has already put his car into the wall this weekend at Phoenix. Welcome back to the real world kid.

*SMKA Productions- I am stealing a shoutout here from Jason. I have known these guys for quite a while now and they are doing some big things. I normally am not one to tell you to cut back on some good ole fashioned's but help my boys out and send $5 their way to help them get this album done. Bro Nameth looks out for their own. Make it happen.

As always, it’s been a pleasure. Leave a comment if you disagree with anything I got to say, and I’ll prove to you why you are wrong….. Check in again Monday Suckazzzzz.

Friday Free For All…..Volume 13.0

Friday Free For All…..Volume 13.0

By: J-Shannon

It’s Friday, and it is Super Bowl weekend! Are you excited, can you feel it deep down in the pit of your stomach? I’m already looking forward to Sunday. I know I’m looking forward to Sunday. There will be plenty of Good Ol Fashioned American Brew HAHA on ice, Chips and Dip, and chicken wings. I’m taking the Steelers, strictly because they have been there A LOT, and know how to handle the pressure. But to hold you over until Sunday, here is a fresh edition of the Friday Free for All…..

--The “I THINK YOU SHOULD KNOW” Stories from this Week:

1.    High School Recruits signed on the dotted lines….

Some of you Bro Nameth supporters may be sports fans, but if you aren’t a college football junkie like I am, allow me to catch you up on what went down on National Signing Day. It looks like the Seminoles are on their way back to domination. Florida State has a small signing class (13) but a star studded class. The biggest shockers to me for the Day were the Clemson Tigers and the Georgia Bulldogs. Clemson is losing Da’Quan Bowers on defense, but they certainly are reloading. Clemson brought in the #1 ILB in the country, Tony Steward, and #2 OLB in the country, Stephone Anthony. Also added were two 5 star players on offense, RB Mike Bellamy, and WR Sammy Watkins. Keep in mind the #1 overall player in the country Jadeveon Clowney still has Clemson on his short list of 3.

Mark Richt may not have had the year on the field that he was hoping for, but he has worked his ass off in the offseason. Richt has also brought in a star studded class for the Bulldogs. Georgia struck recruiting gold, landing 5 Star RB Isaiah Crowell, and 5 Star DE Ray Drew. I got to give the Bulldogs some credit, and I’m a little nervous to see how the Bulldogs will develop over the next couple of seasons. I will say this, if Richt doesn’t produce immediately after the class he just recruited, he will get sent packing…..

Here is how I ranked the Recruiting Classes:

1.     Florida State

2.     Alabama

3.     Texas

4.     Georgia

5.     LSU

6.     USC

7.     Clemson

8.     Oregon

9.     Ohio State

Keep in Mind, IF, and that’s a big IF, Clowney signs with Clemson, I will move them up to the number 4 class in the country.

--Things that Have Pissed Me off This Week:

1.     People who are pissed that Ben Roethlisberger had a few Beers…….

So Big Ben flew into Dallas Tuesday to prepare for the ‘Ship. It turns out Wednesday night he took a couple of his linemen out to a piano bar, and ran up a tab of drinks to the tune of $800. Some people are pissed that he went out and had drinks during the week he is preparing for the big game. I’ll just say it like this, the man is an adult. He old enough to make his own decisions, go where he wants, drink what he wants, stay out as late as he wants. I think if Head Coach Mike Tomlin was really concerned about his QB at night, he would put a curfew on the guy.

I think it needs to be pointed out that Peter King, who is the best NFL writer in the business, was at Steelers practice today. King tweeted after practice that Big Ben is “scalding hot”, and he “looked terrific.” King also pointed out that at one point, Ben threw 4 touchdowns in a row in the Red Zone.

I don’t think Coach Tomlin is worried at all about what his QB is doing at night…..

2. Gabe Wright, Who the Hell do you think you are??

So Auburn has yet again another solid recruiting class. This year they landed 4 Star recruit Gabe Wright. Gabe makes his announcement on national television, and throws on a “customized” Auburn hat. Gabe’s hat reads Nick Who? This is a reference to the future Number 1 pick Nick Fairley, who plays the same position as incoming Wright. Now Gabe may be a good player, and yea he is a 4 star recruit, but who the hell does this guy think he is? So you have the POTENTIAL to be a good player. As of right now, you couldn’t hold Fairley’s Jock. Fairley wasn’t a 4 star recruit. He was actually a 2 star, who went to JUCO, and worked his way up to start for Auburn. The guy worked his ass off to get to where he is today. Before you start getting cocky, how about step foot on a college campus and actually do something. Your explanation was shitty too, it made about as much sense as a virgin porn star…….

Here is the clip of the Doucher himself…..

--Youtube Clips of the Week:

I’m going to be honest, I thought Lil Weezy was a Saints fan from New Orleans, but he kills it here for Green Bay. Take a good listen, and listen to the lyrics…..

This one is dedicated to all of us white boys who always wanted to dunk but know there isn’t a chance in hell of it actually happening….. Shout out to Tom Pritchard of Indiana for proving some white boys can jump….

This is your lucky day as we got videos all over the place...Shoutout to Bro Zimmerman for this vid...

This last clip has got to be the fastest goalie in the history of soccer. This dude might be able to give Usain Bolt a "run" for his money...It looks fake but is 100% real. This is easily the fastest white dude alive...Shoutout to Bro Switzer for the vid....

-The “LIVIN’ THE DREAM” Legend of the Week:

This week’s Livin’ the Dream legend is none other than Bro Paterno. The guy has the life right now. He is the Head football coach for Penn State. But he is at the point in his career where his coordinators do all the work, and he just sits back and watches the action. Bro Paterno is livin’ the dream……

--Shout-Outs for the Week:

        *   Schmee- It wasn't too long ago your ambitions were to be a pirate. You have turned in your
             eye patch for a family. Wanted to give you a shoutout on your Birthday. HAPPY BDAY!       

*    Matt Watts- I would almost rather get herpes than have to admit he is right, but he did call me out on a name I left off of Monday’s NFL Underrated List. Jon Kitna did step in for Tony Bromo, and did a solid job. The guy never gets any love.

*    Cleveland Cavaliers- You still suck ass, 23 in a row, not too shabby….

*    Andy Pettitte- Congrats on a solid career, even though you were caught juicing. At least you admitted you juiced like a man, and moved on…..

*    J’Woww- She was slammin in her leather outfit last night……

*    Extra Mustard- If you haven’t clicked on extra mustard on cnnsi.com, you are missing out. Does anyone know what the G on the Green Bay Packers Helmet Stands for?? No it’s not Green Bay, Click here for the Answer….

*     Coach Mike Smith- He got his new extension, well deserved….

*     The Newest Bro Nameth Supporters…..  Eddie Carta, Wifey Crooks, Uncle Bro Tomassi, and Jeff Fetters…..

      One last sports worthy note. We have run across this facebook page that is spreading the word on steroid use. You should take a look and help spread the word. Hey sports fans, do you play steroid-free?

As always, it’s been a pleasure. Leave a comment if you disagree with anything I got to say, and I’ll prove to you why you are wrong….. Check in again Monday Suckazzzzz.

Friday Free For All…..Volume 12.0

Friday Free For All…..Volume 12.0

By: J-Shannon

It is Friday, and you know what that means, it’s time for another juiced up edition of the Friday Morning Free for All. I’m in an exceptionally good mood this Thursday night, for many different reasons, but mainly because I’ve got a solid weekend of sporting events and activities planned with the wifey after I pick her up from the ATL airport in the morning. But back to business, there is a lot to cover in this edition of the Friday Morning Free For All, including: one last word on Jay Cutler, some Cecil Newton Bashing, the best bets to place on the Super Bowl, and anything else that crosses my mind while I’m writing….. So kick back and relax, and enjoy……

First and foremost the college football world is going to be ROCKED February 7th. YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST.

--The “I THINK YOU SHOULD KNOW” Stories from this Week:

1. Solid Basketball on the West Coast……

So I was up late Wednesday night, and couldn’t really find anything to watch on TV, and remembered that there was a solid west coast college basketball game going on. San Diego State was battling BYU, and between the two teams, their combined records were 39-1. San Diego State is loaded with talent, and BYU has one of, if not the best basketball players in the country. I have heard all the hype all season about Jimmer Fredette, but wanted to see for myself what all the fuss was about. Point Blank: The kid is a stud. He ended up with 43 points for the night slicing and dicing the San Diego Defense doing whatever he wanted to do. The San Diego State defense reminded me of a One Legged man in an Ass kicking contest, they didn’t have a chance…. I’m not saying the kid is going to be a star in the NBA, but I am saying when you know how to score, you know how to score. If a team doesn’t take a chance on this kid, they should seriously reconsider their draft process. I know typically most people consider the Big East and the ACC the powerhouses of college basketball, but they play some pretty solid hoops out west in the mountains.

2 Give the Man his $3,000,000 Donation back Huskies….

So here is the back story. All college football programs have “that donor,” the one who donates the most money to the program. The head “Donor” is almost an untitled assistant coach on the team. Usually, in exchange for the millions and millions of dollars that the donor donates, they are informed and even brought in during important football related conversations. So, as a rule, you hold the hand of the large donor. Well, UCONN took the opposite approach. Apparently they had no problem cashing the checks of their Big Daddy donor; however the AD refused to return any calls or emails to the man. Somehow the UCONN Athletic Director pissed this donor off to the point that the man wants his money back. If you ask me, the AD has a problem, and I can’t really blame the guy for wanting some Benjamin’s back….

--Things that Have Pissed Me off This Week:

1. Cecil Newton, live your Own Life Bro….

Dear Mr. Newton,

Haven’t you cause enough drama and embarrassment for your son? You have already had the entire country question his loyalty, character, integrity, and his overall moral standards. Although your son won the Heisman Trophy, you still have caused a lot of the country to question whether he actually deserved the award.  Your son even managed to lead his team to the National Championship, yet many people still believe it will be null and void within 3 years. With that being said, the fact that you are setting up a media day for your son is absurd. Aren’t you a preacher in a church here in the A? Don’t you have other things to worry about? Let your son live his own life, let him get out of the shadow of Daddy….

2. Iowa Football, taking it to the EXTREME these days….

I don’t even know where to begin about this one. Apparently the Iowa football team is going to do literally whatever it takes to get their team in shape for next season. When I say do whatever it takes, I mean to the point that if it means sending 20 players to the hospital for exhaustion and muscle breakdown, so be it. 20 different players were admitted to the hospital following a workout session lead by the football training staff. Reports were the session consisted of 100 reps of Bench, at 225, and 250 reps of squats. There was also reportedly a mandatory sled drill requiring each player to push a weighted sled up and down an entire football field twice. I’m not saying playing D-1 Football should be easy, but damn, that sounds a little extreme. Looks like the Iowa staff is in a little bit of trouble…..

--Youtube Clip of the Week:

This is how good Ronaldinho is at soccer. It looks like he has gotten so bored over the weekend from shooting normal shots on goal; he has decided to practice making shots from behind the goal…..

You have to love hockey. Why? Because fighting is legal…. Too bad I didn’t make it to this game in Russia….

--The “LIVIN’ THE DREAM” Legend of the Week:

You know what time it is. It’s time for the Living the Dream legend of the week. This Week: GEORGE MALOOF.

Never heard of him? Well he is only a multi millionaire, owning the Sacramento Kings, Sacramento Monarchs, and the Palms casino in Las Vegas. To make him even cooler, he played cornerback at UNLV, and his locker mate was Death Row Records CEO Suge Knight.  The dude is living the dream……

--Prediction for the Upcoming Week:

With the sudden departure of Jeff Fisher late last night, there is one more opening in the NFL Coaching Ring. I think that before it is all said and done, there are 3-4 names that are going to be out there in the running for the Head Coaching Gig. Keep your eyes open for Mike Malarkey to get a look, as well as Josh McDaniels, and their current Offensive Line Coach Mike Munchak….

--Stat of the Week:

BYU Guard Jimmer Fredette has 15 games of scoring more than 40 points in his college career. 13 of these games have come on the road…. That’s pretty damn impressive.

--Best Bets in the Super Bowl:

Let’s play a little game. Courtesy of Bodog.com and CNNSI Extra Mustard, here are the best wagers for the Super Bowl next weekend: It is easy to pick the winner, but let’s see who can get the most of these wagers right….

·     How long will it take Christina Aguilera to sing the National Anthem? -- Over/Under: 1 minute 50 seconds

·     How long will Christina Aguilera hold the note "Brave" at the end of the National Anthem? -- Over/Under: 6 seconds

·     How Many Times will FOX show Jerry Jones on TV during the Game? -- Over/Under: 3

·     How Many Times will FOX mention Brett Favre on TV during the Game? -- Over/Under: 2.5

·     Will a punt hit the scoreboard during the game? -- Yes: 10/1

·     Will a Steelers player do the Aaron Rodgers Championship Belt Celebration during the game?
Yes: EVEN
No: -140

Leave your answers on the Comment Person with the most right answers gets a Bro Nameth T Shirt…..Seriously DO IT! 

--Shout-Outs for the Weekend:

·     Charlie Sheen- The man was admitted to the hospital this week. Apparently, he went on a 3 day drinking binge, with 5 porn stars, when a friend of his showed up with a suit case full of cocaine. Friends say he was high as hell, and actually critiquing the porn stars as he watched their latest movies. You really can’t make this shit up. I’m not sure whether to say get well soon to the guy, or make him the livin’ the dream legend of the week….

·     Yao Ming- Somehow, although you’ve only played like 4 games in the past 3 years, you were voted in as a started in the All Star Game this year. That is what happens when you are of Chinese decent and you have 25 Billion Chinamen online voting for you…..

·     Jay Cutler- So you couldn’t try and lead your team to a Super Bowl appearance, but you managed to spend the day shopping with your girlfriend in LA yesterday….TOUGH GUY

·     The NHL- I love the fact that for their All Star game, they are picking captains, and letting the captains actually pick from a group of All Stars their teams, like a backyard baseball game…..

·     The New York Knicks- They were just voted the most valuable NBA team, taking over the Los Angeles Lakers. The team is valued at $655 million, and that is after the shitty year they had last year. Just imagine what they will be worth after this year when they win a few games….

Please follow Bro Nameth on Twitter and LIKE us on Facebook. We appreciate all the support! 

As always, it’s been a pleasure. Leave a comment if you disagree with anything I got to say, and I’ll prove to you why you are wrong….. Check in again Monday Suckazzzzz.

Friday Free For All…..Volume 11.0

Friday Free For All…..Volume 11.0

By: J-Shannon

After Missing out on a Happy Crappy Monday Morning article, we are back up and smoking for a jammed pack Friday Free For All! I was thinking of coming up with a long, detailed excuse about how the Dirty South Blizzard caused a power outage at the J-Shannon residence, resulting in me not being able to produce a Monday Morning article. Instead, I am going to be completely honest, because you Bro Nameth supporters do not deserve to be Bullshitted. Instead of writing an article Sunday night, I, along with a group of fellow brotivated people, decided to throw a: “It’s going to snow, so we ain’t got to show” party. This party involved an extensive amount of Brew Ha Ha’s, therefore I didn’t think I was qualified to write a solid article.

However, I have jam packed this Friday Morning article with twice as much information as usual. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride…..

----The “I THINK YOU SHOULD KNOW” Stories from this Week:

I was going to talk about a couple of different points in this section, until I came across this disturbing picture. Gucci Mane has decided to take the “Ice Cream Paint Job” to a whole new level. Just when you think Mike Tyson has the worst face tattoo of all time, Gucci comes along and takes the cake. You know, recently he was released from a mental institute, and from the looks of it, he might should have stayed there a little longer….Here is the pic….

----Things that Have Pissed Me off This Week:

1.       Hey Browns fans, stop your Bitching……

Oh to be a sports fan in Cleveland. How depressing is it honestly to be a sports fan in Cleveland? Let’s start with baseball. The movie “Major League” had a more attractive roster than the current one that is put together for the Indians. Name three relevant Cleveland Indians off the top of your head, I’ll wait. It has to hurt to think at one point, both C.C. Sabathia and Cliff Lee were both starters in the same rotation. How about the Cavaliers? Well they are still cleaning up the mess from the dump King James left on the town. Cavs fans shouldn’t be pissed that LeBron left, they should actually thank him for letting the town experience a few years of winning. Try and tell me LeBron isn’t talented, they guy gave the team 60 win seasons… this year they will be lucky to get 20. And finally, there is the Cleveland Browns. The only award that team is worthy of winning is the worst team uniforms in sports. I do have to give the Browns a little credit, their fan base continues to support a shitty team year after year. Poor Josh Cribbs, the guy is about as talented as there is in football. He is surrounded by teammates who would be practice players on most other rosters. Cleveland Sports has about as much chance of winning a Championship as a crack-head in a weightlifting competition.

But here is what pisses me off the most: Fans are already hating the hire of new Head Coach Pat Shurmur. So he isn’t a big name guy, who cares. The guy has been the OC in St. Louis, and has been putting up points consistently with arguable one player (Steven Jackson), and a rookie QB. Take note of what has happened in recent years Browns fans. ATL fans weren’t to happy with the Mike Smith hire, yea they have all shut up at this point. People were pissed the legend Bill Cowher was replaced by Mike Tomlin, a no name Coordinator. I think that hire turned out pretty well. Give the guy a chance before you bash him, it may surprise you.

2.       Antonio Cramartie, you got a big set of Balls……

You know the old saying, “You mess with the Bull, and you get the Horns?” Well Cromartie needs to learn the meaning of this quickly. For the life of me, I cannot understand why you would talk shit to Tom Brady before a playoff game? You know Tom Brady, the guy who is 14-4 in his career during playoff games. The guy who game after game makes things happen, regardless of who is his running back and receivers. A guy who will throw three touchdowns this weekend, light up Cromartie, and still make it home in time to tuck his child into bed and play hide the pickle with his smoking hot wife. Cromartie has two other problems I think he needs to focus on before talking shit to Brady.

1.       Don’t forget that “Revis Island” is on the other side of the field from where you play. This means that regardless of how good you think you are, people are going to continue to throw your way because Revis is the best.

2.       You should be focusing on the 9 kids from 8 different women you currently know about. I won’t even include the 5 other paternity test you have outstanding. What you need to be doing is taking some tips from Travis Henry. You remember him, the ex NFL running back who has 10 kids by 10 different women, who still owes $250,000 in child support each month, although he is unemployed.

--Youtube Clips of the Week:

A solid youtube clip this week. We all had dreams growing up, and some of us have reached our dreams. Some of us however, fell short. This man may need to rethink his career choice….

The second clip is more of an inspirational story. Little Elizabeth Hughes wanted to sing the national Anthem for her local AHL Hockey team. She was rocking it, and got about 75% of the way through, when her microphone went out. What happens next is pretty cool from the people of Norfolk…..This needs to be said. The lady who starts laughing as her mic cuts off is about as cool as the swine flu. Shits Weak. 

--The “LIVIN’ THE DREAM” Legend of the Week:

Last week’s legend was Jerry Jones, who we can all agree was a solid choice. Although I hate to stick with another sports team owner, this week’s legend is: Mark Cuban….

Talk about living the dream, the man is worth somewhere in the 2-3 billion dollar range. He sits court side to every game, to cheer on his team. Most of us sit at a game and cheer on our team, but it would be nice to know it is actually “YOUR TEAM.” Rumor has it he is one of the most player friendly owners in the history of sports. He is known for making his players as comfortable as possible. Cuban asked his players what would make them more comfortable in the locker room. After hearing their suggestions, he provided them with a massage recliner in front of each of their lockers, along with a 42 inch plasma in each locker.

Talk about tough life decisions, the guy is has been wrestling with the idea of whether or not he wants to put in an offer to buy the Cubs….. “Livin’ the Dream” at it’s finest…..

--Prediction for the Upcoming Week:

So I was off on a couple of predictions last week, but I hit a couple right on the head. I told you that Harbough would be the next coach at San Francisco, and he now is. I also told you that even though they were talking about new candidates, Tony Sparono wasn’t going anywhere, and he didn’t. This week’s predictions…..

Packers vs. Falcons- This one is tough, because of my personal love for the birds. But I like the packers in this match up. Aaron Rodgers is a stud, and their defense is on point. I hate to say it, but I think it comes down to a 4^th down play that the Falcons fall short on… Final: Falcons 28- Packers 31

Ravens vs. Steelers- I love both of these teams, because I love hard nosed defensive football. This one comes down to experience, and I give it to the Steelers. Final score Steelers 21- Ravens 16 Side Note: Ed Reed has a pick….

Seahawks vs. Bears- The magic is over, sorry Seahawks. Although Cutler is going to do everything possible to lose this game, the Bears D actually knows how to tackle unlike the Saints. Not a lot of offense in this one…. Seahawks 16 – Bears 24

Jets vs. Patriots-   I can’t wait to see this one personally. It has all the making for an instant classic. The cocky coach, the bad ass coach, the silent but deadly QB, the trash talking Corner, and the “Rudy” little white boy football player. I will never go against Brady, as he has a point to prove this weekend… Final Score Jets- 24 Patriots 32…

--The Ordinary Bro who deserves Recognition this Week:

This one is simple. How about a shout out to the Bro’s who despite it being snowing and icy outside, still man up and get to their respective jobs to make sure the rest of us who are snowed in are enjoying their impromptu holiday. I called the liquor store Tuesday, and they said they will def. be open normal hours, no matter what the weather is looking like, because they know that people need to drink…. I thought it was well worth being recognized.

--Shout-Outs for the Weekend:

·         Clippers- They dropped 44 on the Heat in the first Quarter this week, and pulled off a rare win against a decent opponent…..

·         Nnamdi Asomugha- Good call on having a clause in your contract to let you leave Oakland. It has to be miserable playing for a habitually horrible team.

·         Lawrence Taylor- Looks like you aren’t going to jail for the hotel room hookup with the high school chick. Hey it’s not your fault you ordered a hooker and she showed up underage.

·         Cam Newton- Shout out for winning the National Championship, and heading to the NFL. I would get out of there too before the shit hits the fan…..

·         Tony Parker- Looks like your ex teammate Brent Barry finalized his divorce with his wife this weekend, thanks to you plowing her on the side.

As always, it’s been a pleasure. Leave a comment if you disagree with anything I got to say, and I’ll prove to you why you are wrong….. Check in again Monday Suckazzzzz.

Happy Crappy Monday Morning......Volume 10.0

Happy Crappy Monday Morning……Volume 10.0

By: J-Shannon

It’s Christmas time people…. You have to love this time of year. You go to work on time, but only do about 60% of what you normally would do. No one gets work done over the next couple of weeks. People are planning family time, what they are doing for Christmas, and searching for some last minute Christmas gifts. What better way to kick off Christmas then with a Happy Crappy Monday Morning, the Christmas edition. Enjoy…..

1.       Dirty Birds Flying High –

12-2. Man that sounds good. I’ll admit, I was extremely skeptical about Matt Ryan being drafted when he did. But what the hell do I know? I think this team is special. They are good, but not great. They are confident, not cocky. They get things done the hard way, by pounding the ball with Turner and Snelling, and wearing down the defense. Matt Ryan doesn’t try and force plays, he just takes what the defense gives him. It is amazing how much better your team plays when you have third and short situations, as opposed to third and long. It seems every time the Falcons have third down this season, it is only 3 or 4 yards to go. This team is special. This team has an opportunity to do something special…. How big is that Monday night football game at the Dome against the Saints going to be? Does home field advantage throughout the playoffs mean anything to you?

2.       MV7 = MVP

Look, I know Tom Brady is a stud. I know his numbers are unreal. I know he is going to go down as one of the best Quarterbacks ever. But if you took him away from that team, would there be that much of a fall off? Yea, they wouldn’t have gone 12-2, but I think it’s safe to say they would have made the playoffs. Now, take Michael Vick away from the Eagles. You’re talking a completely different team. The guy is single handily leading the Eagles to the playoffs on fire. Their O-Line is shaky; doesn’t matter, Vick breaks a tackle or 2 and scrambles for 40 yards. Maclin and Jackson are killing it lately, because they have a guy with an arm that can use their speed to his advantage. This team is hot, and is being led by a guy who has completely changed from the player and person he was 3 years ago. I’ll put it to you this way, I’m excited to see how far the Falcons go into the playoffs, but I damn sure don’t want to have to play MV7 or the Eagles.

3.       All the Miami Heat and King James Haters, where Did you Go?

You know it is funny, the Heat lose a couple of games, and everyone thinks it was a huge mistake for King James to “Take his Talents” to Miami. Well, the Heat is starting to get their shit together. They have won 12 in a row. Actually, they haven’t lost a game this month, and it’s the 20^th of the month. The more time that Wade and King James spend together on the court, the better this combination is going to get. If you were hating on the Heat, and talking about how this combination wasn’t going to work out, then you might want to consider hating on some other team…..

4.       The Town – Solid Flick

I had a chance to lie around on the couch Sunday night, and decided to switch it up from my normal routine. Normally, it’s a night to get my column together, and watch Faith Hill kick off Sunday Night Football. But this Sunday, I decided to watch The Town. Great flick, I highly recommend checking it out. I’m normally not a Ben Affleck fan, but he rocked it in this movie. Anytime you have a movie that’s action packed, involves a bank robbery or 2, and somehow finds a way to incorporate a professional sports team, it’s going to be a winner. This movie is a solid Bro flick…

5.       57^th Fighter Group Restaurant Review…..

You know how it works, I rank based on the following categories: Atmosphere, Talent Level, Cheddar Factor, Drink Accessibility, and Playlist.

·         Atmosphere 9….. This place is great and unique. The restaurant is a themed restaurant, with the feeling of eating on a military base. From the military cars in the parking lot, to the guard gate at the entrance, to the sandbags on the walls, it really gives the feel of a military base. Also, don’t expect to hear music while in the bathroom, instead plan to hear famous war generals giving motivational speeches.

·         Talent Level 6…. One word, COUGAR! Cougars are on the prowl at this place. Keep your eyes peeled, and be prepared, because you will get hit on.

·         Cheddar Factor 7…. It’s a little on the high side, but it is nicer than your ordinary restaurant. The food was amazing. I recommend getting a steak. Also, if you are on active duty, just bring an ID. It is free, as a thanks for your service.

·         Drink Accessibility 8…. The place is a pretty good sized restaurant. There are multiple bars, and cocktail waitresses everywhere. I didn’t have any problem getting a drink in this place.

·         Playlist  6….. Yea, they had a DJ for the dance floor. But their music selection was a little more suited for the Cougars in the bar than anyone else. It is a little old school. Don’t expect to hear anything from the 2000 era.

·         FINAL SCORE = 36…. Translation: Check it out. It is definitely worth the atmosphere, at least once. Also, if you have anyone from the WWII Era, I’m told they have to go, because it is a solid reminder of the past.

6.       DeSean Jackson made the Giants his Bitch….

This won’t take long. Hey Giant fans, how did that make you feel? Look, 14 seconds left in the game, there should not be a remote chance that that punt lands anywhere close to in bounds. It’s that simple. Mr. Coughlin, there is a guy in North Carolina right now, and his name is Bill Cowher. He is preparing to put the old whistle around his neck again, and get back into Coaching in the NFL. That kick off your punter’s foot might as well have been your job if you don’t win the Super Bowl this year……By the way, if you missed it, here it is…..

7.       The NFL

Watch the clip below. You mean to tell me that Tyler Brayton gets fined 15k for that hit and the poor JETS assistant who makes about 80k gets popped for 25k?? Cmon Goodell this is embarrassing. Not only should Tyler Brayton be suspended, Curtis Lofton should take him out back and beat his ass. Have a look see:

8.       Get the Resume’s Ready, Vacancies Everywhere after Christmas

Come January, there are going to be multiple coaching jobs open in the NFL. Hell, so far there are already 3, with the Cowgirls, Broncos, and the Vikings open. But in my eyes, there are going to be a few more. Keep an eye on the Texans, who seem to add talent ever year but remain mediocre. The Titans, who look like they are going to make the stupid decision to choose Vince Young over Jeff Fischer. The Panthers, although who wants that job. The Giants, just because New York doesn’t put up with the type of crap that happened yesterday. (See #6). Other possibilities include Jacksonville and San Fran. Bad news for you Atlanta fans, don’t be surprised if your Offensive Coordinator is a head coach somewhere else next year.

9.       Greinke= From Shittiest to Just Shitty

Just a quick Congrats to Zack Greinke, you left the really shitty team you have been playing for, and now play for just a Shitty team. Congrats.

10. The Top 10 in the Top 10…….

Oh the Top 10. This week is special; it is the Christmas top 10. But the top 10 Christmas movies have been done, so I decided to switch it up a bit. I did the Top 10 Dysfunctional family members in a Christmas movie. Enjoy, and don’t act like you don’t have any of these family members in your family.

1.       UNCLE EDDIE – Christmas Vacation: Possibly my favorite Christmas Character of all time, How could you have a dysfunctional family without Uncle Eddie? Showing up in his horrible RV, with his dog Snots, Eddie somehow charms you into liking him. Everyone has an uncle Eddie in their family.

Favorite Quote:  “Shitter was full Clark!”

2.       BUZZ MCCALLISTER – Home Alone:  What a great older brother. Buzz was that annoying older brother who did anything he could do to get on your nerves. The fact that he ate an entire pizza just to piss his younger brother off is priceless. The downside to Buzz, his girlfriend…. WOOF.

Favorite Quote: “No, for three reasons: A, I'm not that lucky. Two, we use smoke detectors and D, we live on the most boring street in the whole United States of America, where nothing even remotely dangerous will ever happen. Period.”

3.       MR. PARKER- A Christmas Story: Don’t act like you don’t watch this movie at least twice when it is on for 24 hours on TBS. One of the best movies of all time in my book, Mr. Parker reminds everyone of their own father in one way or another. You have to love the old man, complaining about the neighbors dogs, loving his leg lamp, and having his special ways of fixing the problems in the house.

Favorite Quote: “What is a lamp, you nincompoop? It's a Major Award. I won it!”

4.       Dr. NEIL MILLER (Step dad)- The Santa Clause- Tell me you remember the Santa Clause? Tim Allen was great, but my favorite character in that movie was the Stepfather, Neil. Why? I want just one of those phenomenal sweaters’ he used to wear. They were better than anything Mr. Cosby use to wear.

Favorite Quote: “All I ever wanted for Christmas was an Oscar Meyer Weiner whistle.”

5.       BUDDY THE ELF- ELF: I know he isn’t a family member in a movie, but how can you have a Christmas list without adding Buddy.

Favorite Quote:” I thought maybe we could make ginger bread houses, and eat cookie dough, and go ice skating, and maybe even hold hands”

6.       UNCLE FRANK- Home Alone: Everyone has the annoying cheap uncle in the family. Uncle Frank is that uncle. He doesn’t let you watch the good movies, and treats you like a child. Uncle Frank was an ass.

Favorite Quote: “Look what you did you little Jerk”

7.       AUNT BETHANY- Christmas Vacation: What a sweet old lady. She is deaf, and wraps her cat up as a gift. Every line she has in the movie is priceless. From the moment she is suppose to say the Blessing, and actually says the Pledge of Allegiance, to the part where she hears the squirrel. Everyone loves Aunt Bethany.

Favorite Quote: “Oh Dear, did I break wind?”

      8.       DENVER AND DALLAS MCVIE- 4 Christmases: Everyone has those siblings they want to just pound. Well Denver and Dallas McVie are training for the UFC so no dice when Brad rolls in for Christmas.

             Favorite Quote: "Hey Brad, lick my gonads."

       9.       SCOTT CALVIN- The Santa Claus:   What happens when you accidentally kill Santa Claus? You become him. Your boy Scott Calvin has got some serious stories to tell at his sons Career Day.

             Favorite Quote: "We shared a bowl of sugar, did some shots of brown liqour, played with my shot guns, field-dressed a cat, looked for women..."

        10.     THE KID- Bad Santa: Seriously his name in the movie is The Kid. Everyone knows that chubby kid who has the cheeks that look like they are going to explode. This is that kid.

              Favorite Quote: "It's a wooden pickle."

 Leave me your thoughts and comments on the facebook post…. Special shout out to Meghan McClamb for the help on the top 10. See you all Friday morning Suckazzzzzz.