Hasta Luego Bobby, the playoffs and my night

So yesterday im hanging around the house and was thinking about some things some of my fellow Braves fans have said to me over the last few weeks. They seem to think that I am being a little to hard on the Braves and that all is not lost. While I completely disagree with them I figured I would try and be optimistic for the game last night. I was optimistic for all of 2 innings. Jurrjens throws Adam Dunn a changeup that did nothing but change the outcome of the game. Dunn sends a bomb to right center that reminded me of a Jay Kapp moonshot off of Tiny Tim in the Atlanta Wiffle Ball League. Absolutely crushed. So now we are down 2-0 which might as well be 7-0 since we cant score any. Now im in a terrible mood, but then I realize that Teen Mom comes on tonight. I call my buddy Mike and we are bitching over the the Braves and we both agree that this team needs a spark of some sort. I suggested grabbing a couple mini bottles of Soco and throwing them in the dugout. I would bet my life that Chipper Jones would fight anyone for those 2 shots of happiness. I get it though Chipper. I would drink like a fish to if i had to come to the park everyday and listen to Bobby yap about how "well we just got beat tonight." No shit. So now im in the car on my way to Boston Market and explaining to Mike that I can throw harder than Livan Hernandez. So in essence were getting mowed down by a guy with the body type of Grady Jackson who tops out at about 83 mph. To make things worse I dont get the right sides at Boston Market. Now im ready to kill someone. Just as I turn the radio back up I hear that Fatty Hernandez has gone deep! Are you kidding me!!?? I get home and my wife has ordered Letters To Juliet on PPV. This is actually an upgrade over watching the Braves. About an hour in I get a few texts asking me how much I hate the Braves. This means only 1 thing. We are now lowing by more than when I started watching the movie. After the movie I turn it to Braves Live to see we got shutout 6-0 and now have to listen to Fred Hickman, Brian Jordan, Ron Gant and Jerome Jurenovich. Have you ever seen a white guy named Jerome? I rest my case. By this time its almost time for Teen Mom to start. I heard that Gary from the show is related to Livan Hernandez. Not sure if its true but they are built the same.

You might ask "Why do you like the Braves if you bash them so much?" I have a huge love/hate relationship with the Braves. Im not going to rant on and on about how much of a joke it is we only won 1 championship and all that. I just get sick of how everyone just acts like it is ok that we are average. No one seems to hold anyone accountable in this city. Bobby Cox has gotten a free pass for the last 20 years and people look at me like I have a 3rd nipple when I bash him. Chipper Jones is what he is now. Hes an AVERAGE player who will only play 2/3 of the games. Why should he continue to get paid like a superstar when he is not? We don't owe him anything. He actually owes us. We basically have paid him the almost 200 million dollars he has earned over the course of his career here. Why is Terry Pendleton employed? What is the point of a hitting coach if we cant hit. We have the most skewed stats of any team in baseball. We will play a 3 game series where we score 0, 2 and 11 runs in 3 games. Everything appears fine since you say "we scored 13 runs in 3 games. Well we basically were shut out and the 3rd game was pad your stats night. The Braves problem is they are so predictable. I could of told you last night was going to happen bc that is the MO of this team for the last 4 years. We will prob come out today and win taking the series. The only problem with that is the Phillies are going to sweep and winning 2 out of 3 isnt good enough anymore. ITS NOT GOOD ENOUGH ANYMORE! The Phillies are going to throw Oswalt on 4 days rest over the weekend in order to set their rotation so that we have to face Oswalt, Halladay and Hamels the 6 games we play them to close the season. Game over. Put a fork in us we are done. So now we are basically praying that the Giants and Rockies lose. Not a good strategy.

So you think i should be optimistic? Why when I already know what is going to happen. Ok so we make the playoffs. ANYTHING SHORT OF WINNING A WORLD SERIES IS A FAILURE. The goal is to win. The goal is not to lose. Maybe we need a Samuel L. Jackson rise up promo to get us pumped up? All i know is im not holding my breath.