Happy Crappy Monday Morning……Volume 14.0

Happy Crappy Monday Morning……Volume 14.0

By: J-Shannon



Good Morning Haters and Fans, and Happy Crappy Monday Morning to you all. My weekend was an eventful one to say the least, although I did absolutely nothing I had planned. Originally, I was scheduled to pick up the girlfriend from the airport early Friday morning, and we were going to have a Bro Nameth night at the Hawks vs. Knicks game. Well, the girlfriend came down with the flu big time, so I had to do what I had to do and go check on her this weekend and make sure she was doing ok. But all in all, I still had a good weekend, and got some much needed rest and relaxation. I also got an opportunity to kick back and watch a lot of sports over the weekend.

So here it is another solid edition of the Happy Crappy Monday…. Enjoy.

1. A Preview of the Big Game on Sunday….

Another football season is in the books, and it looks like it is down to one last football game of the year. This year’s Super Bowl matchup puts the Green Bay Packers against the Pittsburgh Steelers. There are so many different angles I like in this game. First off, you have two of the up and coming young Quarterbacks in the league preparing to square off against each other. I personally like Rodgers over Big Ben, however it is hard to bet against a guy like Big Ben who is 10-2 in the playoffs. I also like the coaching matchup. I’m willing to go on record and make this statement: “I think when it is all said and done, Mike Tomlin will go down as one of the best coaches ever to Coach in the NFL.”  I know that is a bold statement, but the guy just flat out understands football, and knows how to win when it matters. You want my opinion? I don’t really care if you do personally; you’re going to get what I’m thinking. I think this game is low scoring, with a large turnover being the difference in the game. As good as Aaron Rodgers is, I give the edge to the Steelers and Big Ben……

2. NHL All Star Game, I Gave it a Chance…..

Look, I tried. I really did. I liked the concept of picking sides with captains. I love when they do their annual winter classic (although picking the first day of the year and competing with a full day of college football is idiotic). So Sunday afternoon, before the Pro Bowl, I decided to lay on the couch and give the NHL All Star game a chance and see what type of action it was bringing to the table. Well, it was one of the most boring events I have ever had to put myself through. There was absolutely no checking, absolutely no defense, and overall no action. Look, I understand no one wants to get hurt, and I understand it is suppose to be high scoring and fun, but you have to keep it somewhat interesting. I’m going to think of the NHL All Star game like an embarrassing One-Night Stand with an ugly chick: NEVER AGAIN…..

3.  Calling All Strippers, Calling All Strippers…..

So we already know the Super Bowl is this coming weekend. We also know that along with the Super Bowl, there is expected to be an additional 170,000 people travel to Dallas for the event. Well it turns out that causes a problem for some local establishments in the area. There is an OPEN-CALL online calling for any and all Strippers to come fly in and work Dallas for the weekend. How many dancing spots are open? 10,000. Don’t worry, you read that right; they are requesting an ADDITIONAL 10,000 Strippers on top of the 20,000 that are already employed in Dallas. You are trying to tell me the economy is down? Let’s just say the average lap dance cost $10. If each dancer just sold a minimum of 3 per night over a two night weekend, it results in 1.8 MILLION DOLLARS in lap dances. We aren’t even considering Cover Charges, Beer, Tips, Shots, and Backstage dances. DAMN, I’m in the wrong business……..

4. Herschel Walker= Not Human….

Herschel Walker is not human. The man is 48 years old, has absolutely no fat on his body anywhere, and says he is in the best shape of his life. The guy is a freak of nature actually. At 48, he was actually clocked at still running a 4.45 40 yard dash. That is impressive. But what’s more impressive is the fact that he is 2-0 in MMA fights, after beating the piss out of some no name guy this weekend. Now I know the guy he fought was softer than a roll of Charmin extra Soft, but you still got to give it to him.

5. Simply Put, This guy is an Idiot….

No description is really needed; this guy is a joke……

6.  Photo of the Week:

This is when you know you are a true Sports fan, starting the kids off right from the beginning.

7. Congrats to Dimitroff and Coach Smith

My inside sources over in flowery branch let me in on a little secret about 24 hours before Jay Glazer broke it yesterday at the Pro Bowl, but it looks like Owner Arthur Blank is going to work on a lengthy extension to Coach Smith and GM Thomas Dimitroff’s contract extension. I don’t know the specifics on numbers, but it is up there. And why shouldn’t it be? The two have made nothing but the right moves since the beginning, and have put together three winning seasons in a row. Congrats to both guys…..

8. How Shitty are the Cavs, Seriously….

The Cleveland Cavaliers suck. I mean they are one pathetic basketball team. I think it is a little funny actually. The Cavs are now a pathetic 8-39, and have lost 20 in a row. And you Cleveland fans were upset that Lebron wasn’t hustling in the playoffs? You may never see the playoffs again. This team has a chance to go down as one of the worst teams in the history of professional basketball.

9.“One-Liners” of the week…….

CBS- Way to have some moral Standards. CBS still refuses to fire Charlie Sheen from Two and a Half Men, even though he has been seen with a briefcase of cocaine, on a drunken binge for 36 hours, slept with 6 porn stars, and checked himself into rehab…. I need a job like that…..

Marvin Williams- You got more balls than I thought you did kid. I was impressed to see you throw a hay-maker Friday night vs. the Knicks…..

Outdoor Tickets- Yes, there are outdoor tickets being sold for the Super Bowl. Tickets OUTDOORS are going for $500 each. Talk about dumbasses…..

Shaun White- The kid is a stud. Won another Gold metal during the X-games this weekend…..

Kobe- He Dropped 41 Last night, but still lost. Somebody else on the team step up….

Kevin Durrant- “Chris Bosh thinks he can act all tough because he is now on a good team. There are a lot of fake tough guys in the NBA, and he is one of them…” –I LOVE IT-

10. THE TOP 10 in the TOP 10….

You know how we do the Top 10 list. Here is the Top 10 this week, dedicated to the unappreciated athlete.

THE TOP 10 MUST UNDERRATED NFL PLAYERS IN 2010…..

10. Brandon Flowers – DB- KC: Flowers is a hell of a cover corner, but gets no love. Kansas City is slowing but surely putting together a tough DB group with Flowers and rookie Eric Berry.

9. Kroy Biermann- DE- Atlanta: Not only is he doing Kim from the Real Housewives of Atlanta, but he is also doing work on the field. Talk about a steal in the 5^th round, Biermann has already surpassed the talent of the first round bust Jamall Anderson. I see this kid only getting better and better.

8. Malcom Floyd- WR- San Diego: You remember that solid Number 1 receiver out in San Diego? Oh, you forgot? His name is Vincent Jackson, and no one has really noticed he didn’t play this year. This is mainly because Malcom Floyd has stepped up. The kid is a solid athlete and a free agent this year. Maybe he can end up in Atlanta next year? Please?

7. Jason Snelling- RB – Atlanta: Now I know he plays for Atlanta, and you may think I’m just throwing Falcons players on the list because I’m a fan, but the guy can play. He understands the game, and always seems to get the yards he needs.

6. Danny Woodhead- RB – New England: Show the kid some respect. He is the size of a professional midget wrestler, and somehow gets reps in the NFL at running back. Woodhead may not have the biggest muscles in the league, but he is in the top 5 for biggest heart….

5. Tashard Choice- RB- Dallas: This kid is loaded with talent, but is only number 3 on the depth chart? What sucks even worse is he could easily be the featured back for 7-10 teams right now?

4. Pierre Thomas- RB New Orleans: This guy gets no credit because he plays alongside Drew Brees and Reggie Bush. But Thomas has been the most consistent running back in the Nola for a long time.

3. Josh Freeman- QB – Tampa Bay: The kid was highly drafted, but plays well under the radar in Tampa Bay. He is consistent, and has shown he can have the burden of the QB of the future placed on his shoulders….

2. Kyle Orton- QB – Denver: The guy gets love from no one, but he is actually a pretty consistent QB. He had a pretty decent year in Denver, and this after his team traded away the majority of his weapons, and his coach was fired mid season.

1. Jacoby Ford- WR- Oakland: This guy wont but under the radar for much longer. Over his past few games, he has lit up defenses and special teams units. He is one of the fastest guys in the league, and

As always, it has been a pleasure. Leave me your thoughts and comments on the facebook post…. See you all Friday morning Suckazzzzzz.