Bayne to Drivers: Put up or Shut Up

Bayne to Drivers: Put up or Shut Up

By Uncle Clark

Danica Patrick is going to need a sexier fire-suit to stay in this sport. The woman completed the 2010 season with an average finish of 28^th thanks to her HUGE pass on the closing laps of the Ford 300 where she overtook Sam Hornish Jr. for 19^th place. Friggen amazing.

Ladies, there are only 43 cars in the field. On average, 10 cars head to garage before they complete 100 laps. That means she beat out 5 drivers to cross the finish line.

Here is the problem: I am giving her too much credit. This is the Nationwide Series and Danica is supposed to be a pedigree player. In three of her 13 starts, Danica was one of those 10 cars heading to the garage. She finished on the lead lap in one race. The rest of the time Danica was dodging beer cans coming in late to the final turn.

READER QUESTION: Clark, why in the eff are we talking about Danica Patrick?

ANSWER:  Because 20-year-old Trevor Bayne won the Daytona 500 – The Great American Race – in his second start as a Sprint Cup driver. Start. Number. Two. We’re talking about Danica, because T. Bayne showed up to Daytona in his Ford F150 with Bojangles wrappers on the floorboards (unconfirmed) and a duffle bag of t-shirts. We’re talking about Danica, because T. Bayne made a statement to her and all “developmental” drivers with his race weekend in Daytona: Put up or shut up.

The dude was ready when he parked his truck. His performance in the Gatorade Duel is proof enough. Jeff Gordon went to T. Bayne – a rookie with the largely forgotten Woods Brothers race team – and tapped him as his drafting partner. His performance was remarkable. Bayne’s ability to control the car at both ends of the draft was beyond impressive. He was one of the first drivers to recognize the need to stay out of the side-drafts of opposing pairs as the turbulent air produced would send Bayne and his partner backwards. The garage saw every move he and Gordon made. The kid had earned his respect even with the rookie stripes taped to his back bumper. Bayne took that respect, matched it with momentum and won the Daytona 500.

Final Laps of the 500:

But we’re not here to talk about Trevor Bayne. This article is about Danica and all the “developmental” drivers out there. T. Bayne just tightened your deadline. He did it with a part-time race team. He did it without a private jet to take him there. He did it with a car void of top-dollar sponsorship dollars. T. Bayne’s message to you: Win or get out. These folks are on notice:

Kevin Conway – This guy’s name barely shows up in a Google search, but he was declared NASCAR’s 2010 Rookie-of-the-Year by default. The idiot was the only rookie.

Travis Pastrana – We get it: you’re cool. We will see what happens in Indianapolis.

Danica Patrick – Ten years from now you will be doing B-List celebrity commentary for “Worlds’ Dumbest” with Tanya Harding.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. – The highest paid driver in NASCAR - $29 Million in 2010. His name accounts for a third of all licensed merchandise sales. Only thing more ridiculous: Jr.’s losing streak.   

Stephen Wallace – Your dad was great. You’re awful.

Chrissy Wallace – Two words: Weight Room.

The Sadler Family – Stick to commentary and fishing.

Thank You, Dale.

Overcome with emotion and high gravity beer, your Uncle Clark and a group of BRONAMETH readers celebrated the life of Dale Sr. at Tony’s pub in Athens, Ohio with a touching tribute: We made the place go silent with the NASCAR version of Amazing Grace. We memorized the one word of the song: “Three.”

Here are the Lyrics:

Amazing Grace – by BRONAMETH SPORTS

Three threeeeee, three threeeeeeee, three threeeee, three threeeeeeeeeee

Three threeeeeee, three  threeeeee, three threeeeeeeeeeeee. (Pause)

Three threeeeee, three, three, three, threeeeeeee, three threeeeee three, three, three, threeeeeee

Three three, three threeeeeeeeee, three threeeeeee.

I tried to record it, but my NASCAR-issued Sprint phone is jacked.

Serious Note: The lap-3 tribute was incredible to see. The man paid with his life to make our sport better. His reputation and his legacy define NASCAR. I personally will have my fingers up on the third lap of every race I attend. I suggest you do the same.

Thank You, Loser with Sword.

This song is available on I-Tunes. What would you do to get all up in the inter-web?

Personally, I’m not sure which is more hilarious...the obvious or the size of that window-mounted air-conditioning unit (around 3min50sec).

Phoenix International Raceway

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