Happy Crappy Monday Morning……Volume 16.0

Happy Crappy Monday Morning……Volume 16.0

By: J-Shannon

Its Monday people and I owe the world an apology. I have gotten extremely slack lately, and did not get a chance to complete my Friday Free for All, so I’m guessing most of you sat around and cried all day at your office. Look, you try having your girlfriend live a state away, and go 2-3 weeks without seeing her, and let me know if you would rather take the extra time to get the article written, or to get home to see the wifey. Yea, now you know what I mean. But, I will do what I have to do, and vow to never miss another article date, at least until I come up with an even better excuse than the one above. This week’s Happy Crappy Monday is loaded, filled with everything from heartfelt stories to Lady Ga Ga and her nut job ways. So kick your feet up on your desk, take another bite out of that donut you don’t need, and enjoy a Happy Crappy Monday……

1  And the Winner Is…….

Anyone know what today is? Yea it is Valentine’s Day, but something happens today that is much more important than Valentine’s Day. It is announcement day, the day that Jadeveon Clowney makes the announcement as to where he plans to play football for at least the next three years. The man has made the announcement that he has narrowed his choices down to three: Alabama, Clemson, and South Carolina. Here was my opinion pre-press conference:

Alabama: Yea, if I was the best defensive player in the country, of course I would consider going to Bama and playing for one of the best defensive coaches in the country. But here is the problem; he says his mother plays a huge roll in his decision, and the only thing she is saying is she wants him to be close to home. The kid lives in Rock Hill, SC, therefore, his ass ain’t going to Bama……

Clemson: This frightens me. I originally thought he was everything but locked to go to USC, until Clemson showed they were sandbagging on National Signing Day and brought in the Defensive recruits they brought in. You have to at least consider going to Clemson, if you have the opportunity to join the #1 OLB and #1` Inside LB in the country.

South Carolina: Well, you heard it hear at Bro Nameth First, but the kid will be going to USC. He has 3 of his best friends at USC already, and has told them he is on the way. Make way for a nasty Defense next year…..

CONCLUSION: Your boy is a Gamecock, and I got no problems with that. Let’s just hope the 18 year old freak show can live up to the crazy hype….

2. Gas Prices, They are Fu@*#NG Outrageous…..

What the hell is going on with Gas? Blame it on the weather, Blame it on Egypt, but it is bullshit to be paying $3.00 a gallon for Gas. You can almost get a nice massage and a tug from anywhere in downtown Atlanta for the same price. I filled my truck up last night, and it cost me $82.00. I could literally buy 4 cases of beer for that. It’s downright crazy, and should be considered rape……

3.  Tiger, the Sports Fan needs you back……

Look, I love golf. It is one of my favorite things in the world. Honestly, nothing is better than relaxing on a Sunday afternoon, kicking your feet up on the couch, and watching the final round of a major golf event. But hasn’t the excitement of Golf faded since Tiger took his nose dive? Golf is about as interesting these days as watching a high school girl’s basketball game. Whether you love Tiger or Hate him, you have to admit that Tiger not playing like Tiger hurts the sport. If Tiger gets back to the form he was playing with 4 years ago, Golf will become relevant again, and my Sunday afternoon’s will once again be interesting……

4. St. Louis Cardinals calling Big Albert’s Bluff……

So the St. Louis Cardinals are calling Albert’s Bluff, being that he has said if he doesn’t have a new contract by the start of training camp, he will walk at the end of the season. Whether or not he walks isn’t the question, the question is why in the hell would you even play with the possibility of letting the best baseball player this in the last 2 decades walk from your team? Is it Money? In this day and age, you pay the best player in the league what he deserves. Is it principles? You say as a team you will not bow down to a player, and that no player is bigger than the team. Yes, this is a true statement, but keep this thought in mind: The Pittsburgh Pirates have the “Team” concept as well, and they suck ass. You have possibly the best first basemen in the history of baseball on your roster, and you are calling his bluff if he walks or not. Not resigning

5. William the Fridge Perry, What a sad story…..

6. There needs to be more publicity for a story like this…….

I think that more sports stories like this need to be brought out front. The man donates a kidney to a player who hasn’t even played a game for him yet……

7. The NCAA is the Biggest Joke in Sports……

So the story above about the Wake Forrest Coach who donated his kidney to his dying player is a heartfelt story. I think it was absolutely remarkable for a Coach to do what he did for a player he barely knew. Here is the crazy part: The NCAA had to actually investigate to see if any recruiting violations would occur with the donation of the kidney. Look, I know that the NCAA has a huge problem with colleges paying off players, and illegally recruiting. But at some point, the NCAA has to use some common sense, and understand that some things are absolutely ridiculous. Just this past week, an NCAA basketball player’s mother dropped dead from a heart attack. Before the kid could book a flight back to the funeral, he had to fill out paperwork with the NCAA to show that he was paying for his own flight, so that he could go back to his hometown and lay to rest his mother. The NCAA needs to get its act together; it’s absolutely bush league…….

8. Photo of the Week:

Here he is Boys and Girls, the Grand Prize Freak of an athlete both Clemson and South Carolina are praying for today. The man is a freak, 6’6’’, 247 lbs. of Meat and Cheese…..

9.“One-Liners” of the Week…..

·         Lady Ga Ga- She shows up to the Grammy’s being carried by 4 dude in a spaceship looking contraption, can she beg for any more attention?

·         Renaldo- Deuces my man; you had one hell of a career. Enjoy retirement….

·         Peter Foresberg-  Deuces to you too as well. I hope you enjoy retirement, but did you really think that you could come back and play in the NHL after 3 years off?

·         Egypt-  Congrats…….

·         Mark Sanchez- So he hooked up with a 17 year old girl, I mean at least it was legal in that state….…..

10. THE TOP 10 in the TOP 10…

•  I have to drop this into the post because this kid is going to be the BRO of the week. This weeks top 10 is the 10 biggest punks who deserve bad things to happen to them

                  1-7: The 7 kids who jumped Nadin Khoury as he walked home from school: They were all older than he was and to be honest this makes me furious. Someone needs to lay some "Punisher" type justice on these guys.

                     8:  Kevin Garnett: I don't know what it is about KG but I literally cannot stand this guy. Yesterday he sets a brutal (yet legal) screen on Mike Miller. DWADE takes offense and shoves KG to the side on a rebound prompting a heated exchange. KG is easily the fakest tough guy in the league. Walks around like he is some kind of Bad ass yet hes a punk.

                     9:  The guys who develop the rules for the NCAA: I know we have already gone over this but seriously! Someone needs to drop an "END SCENE from CASINO" on these clowns. You know what im talking about.

                    10:  Barry Bonds: Nothing will make me feel better than Ole Fathead to go to jail for 3-5. It literally insults EVERYONES intelligence when he says he didn't juice. He sued Jack LaLaanne claiming he was the original "Power Juicer"...SHOCKER ALERT, the case is still pending trial.

Here is the Video of Nadin Khoury on The View. This kid is a champ...

As always, it has been a pleasure. Leave me your thoughts and comments on the facebook post…. See you all Friday morning Suckazzzzzz.