Happy Crappy Monday Morning……Volume 11.0

Happy Crappy Monday Morning……Volume 11.0

By: J-Shannon

Happy exceptionally Crappy Monday Morning to all of you loyal Bro Nameth Followers. It is 2011, and the first Crappy Ass Monday of the year. Lots of good stuff went on over the Holidays: some coaches got canned, some teams stepped up in big games, and some people went to jail. All in all, it was an epic Holiday season, and I will do my best to catch everyone up on what went down over the past couple of weeks. I myself had one of the best two weeks a guy can ask for. I got to do some traveling, saw some family, went to the Gator Bowl, and soaked in some warm Florida Sun.  So here it is boys and girls, enjoy a jam packed edition of Happy Crappy Monday Morning.

1.       7 Birds invited to the Pro Bowl, Sorry but they Ain’t Coming…….

Congrats to the Falcons for leading the league in players who were voted to the Pro Bowl. Roddy White, Matt Ryan, Michael Turner, John Abraham, Ovie Mughelli, Tony Gonzalez, and the do everything man Eric Weems. Unfortunately, they birds are going to have to pass on the opportunity to play in Hawaii. The game is actually played the week before the Super Bowl, and the birds have their targets set on playing in Dallas.  There is one thing that I am a little upset about though. Can we not give some love to a couple of the BIG NASTY’s on the O-Line? For the past three years, Turner and Snelling have been churning out hundreds of yards behind a solid group of O-linemen. I think it is time for guys like Clabo and Dahl to get a little love…..

2.       Big Ten, way to Blow…

So we are right in the middle of the College Football Bowl Season, maybe the NCAA Should have let the Big Ten know about it. They have looked absolutely horrible over the past couple of weeks. The Big Ten were scheduled to play in 5 games on New Year’s Day, however all they really did was put on uniforms and go through the motions. The Michigan Team actually had to stand up on the plane ride home because of the Ass kicking Mississippi State handed to them. Speaking of beat downs, Michigan State competed about as well as Georgia State against Alabama. At one point Saturday, Michigan and Michigan State were down 86-7. Wisconsin gave it a good effort, but TCU handled their business in the Rose Bowl. Urban Meyer won his last game with Florida against Penn State. And out in the TicketCity Bowl, (wherever the hell that is) Texas Tech topped Northwestern. Way to Represent BIG TEN……

3.       So long Rich Rod….

Speaking of the Gator Bowl, it looks like Rich Rodriquez may have coached his last few plays for the Wolverines. I had the luxury of sitting on the 50 Yard Line, Club level; to enjoy what I was hoping would be a good game. I know you’re jealous; you don’t have to hide it. So I thought I was going to see a good game, well what I got to witness was Rich Rod literally helping himself get the boot. On the first drive of the game, Michigan marched down 85 yards for 7 points. Mississippi State answered with a similar drive. But after the first two drives, something really interesting happened. Miss. State head coach Dan Mullen proved why he is going to be a great head coach, and Rich Rod proved why he is subpar. Dan Mullen made some adjustments, and kept Michigan in check the remainder of the game. What adjustments did Michigan make? Not a single one from the looks of it, as Mississippi State walked the ball up and down the field the entire game. But if that wasn’t bad enough, what happened right before the First Half ended should be the ultimate decision maker on his job status. Michigan has the ball on their 20, down 17-7, with 54 seconds to go in the half. Run the clock out? No, let’s try and launch one down field. The end result, interception and 7 points for Mississippi State…..So Long Richie……

4.       Possibly the Best and Most Epic Commercial Ever….

I have laughed over and over this past week at this amazing commercial. Yes, it is real, and Yes, it is a legit business….trust me, this will be one you watch over and over….

               

5.       Way to Show Up as Usual South Carolina…..

I’m not going to spend a lot of time on this topic, for 2 reasons. Number 1, I didn’t watch much of the game because of New Year’s festivities. And Number 2, I feel like I’m beating a dead horse. It is really simple with South Carolina: No Lattimore, No Offense! Florida State lays the smack down on Lattimore early in the game, and that’s all she wrote. The first play I actually watched Friday night was Garcia rolling out of the pocket, and lobbing one up in the end zone for a pick…. After that, I decided to focus on the ball dropping, and starting the Ol Gamecock saying…. “Wait til Next Year.”

6.       If you are going to Suck, GO ALL OUT….

Here is another great video, courtesy of Rupert Pupkin. This video made the Number 1 Video of the year on the 4 letter Network’s SportsNation, and I will admit is phenomenal. I like the desire, the heart, and the determination to finish the race, regardless if he was going to win or not….. please take a look, and enjoy…..

               

7.       Drunk obnoxious FSU fans....

      So Jason is going to let me steal one of his top 10's for this week. I went to the Chick-Fil-A bowl on New Years Eve which pitted South Carolina against FSU. Now don't get me wrong when I was in school (and even now) I get really into the games and talk some trash but I wouldn't sit there and talk shit the WHOLE game and yell at people's families. This one guy was just out of control. It should not go unmentioned that he was wearing skinny jeans and no I am not joking. Every play he would turn and do the stupid chop followed by some kind of ridiculous remark. As the game was drawing to a close another gentleman who was intoxicated started screaming at the South Carolina section. A few Gamecock ladies took offense and decided to handle it themselves.

     "Go to bed asshole you suck at life!"

     "Why don't you go blow the guy in the skinny jeans !"

Now there are a few things here I want to say

1. No dude should ever wear skinny jeans. I don't care if your the biggest bad ass on the planet. No other man should ever have to see another guy in jeans that look like they have been painted on. I don't care if Tim Gunn says they look good. Take it from me they don't.
2. Shout out to the females not taking lip from anyone. This is why the SEC has the best fans in College Football. You got women talking ish to obnoxious drunk fans of opposing teams. Not only were they talking trash but they were cognizant to the fact that one of the trash talkers was wearing skinny jeans and knew that this broke BRO code and called him on it. I was proud.

8.       Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

I watched this instead of the Fiesta Bowl because well...UCONN sucks. Quality flick centered around the financial crisis and the collapse of the economy. Gordon Gecko is a certifiable BRO and bad ass. "Blue Horseshoe loves Anacott Steel."

9.       “Deuces” of the week……. 

The Section dedicated to the group of people who will be throwing up their “Deuces” as they leave, quit, or get fired an organization………

-          John Fox- It was a good run for you, but you’re time has come to an end in Carolina. You’ll get picked up somewhere…..

-          Mike Haywood- Boy, did his December go from awesome to Shitty in 3 week span. The man gets hired from Miami of Ohio, and takes over a pretty decent Pittsburgh job. However, after being busted for Domestic Violence, he was immediately fired….. Damn he is having a good year.

-          Brett Favre- For F$%K’s Sake, just go to Mississippi and stay there…..

-          DeAngello Williams, OCHO CINCO, Steve Smith…. It looks like some big name players are probably not going to be playing with their respective teams next season. Look for these players to be rocking new jersey’s next season…..

-           Eric Mangini....One of the worst coaches in the NFL. Peace be with you.

10.   THE TOP 10 in the TOP 10….

It’s Top Ten in the Top Ten time, and this week’s topic is a personal favorite. I have had the opportunity to travel to many different sports facilities in the country. This week’s Top Ten in the Top Ten is the Best Sports facilities I have had the opportunity to visit and see a game…..Enjoy…..

1.       MADISON SQUARE GARDEN- I saw the Knicks battle the Bulls back in the day, what a great and Historic Venue…

2.       DAYTONA INTERNATIONAL SPEEDWAY- Yes, I know it is NASCAR, but I have been there a couple of times, and the place is crazy. Such a great event to go and spend a couple of days and just people watch…

3.       YANKEE STADIUM- The House that Ruth Built, I’m not a Yankees fan at all, but you have to appreciate the history that is in this place. I’m glad I actually go to go to the old Stadium, with all of its Historic value….

4.       TURNER FIELD- Yes, it is where the Braves call Home. The best value in sports in my opinion, you can literally buy a ticket from STUBHUB.COM for $2, and walk in the park and gain access to the Chop House in Right Field. I made somewhere around 20 games this year….

5.       DEATH VALLEY- Yes I hate Clemson with a passion, but you have to appreciate the Tiger Fan’s passion for the sport. Death Valley is a great place to see a game. Make sure you get there early, and be sure to stop by The Esso Club after the game for some good times….

6.       BRISTOL MOTOR SPEEDWAY- One of the wildest trips I have ever been on, be sure if you are going to make a NASCAR race at all in your lifetime, make it this Track. To maximize the fun, take a group of your buddies, and rent an RV for the weekend. This place was a nonstop party from Friday until Sunday night…

7.       THE SWAMP- I have seen a lot of football games in my day, but this is the loudest stadium I have ever been to. Had the opportunity to see the Gamecocks battle Florida and come up short in an awesome 16-15 game. The bar scene in Gainesville is awesome as well….

8.       CHURCHILL DOWNS- The Kentucky Derby. That is all that has to be said. Dress to Impress, and prepare to have an epic afternoon. Such a wonderful atmosphere and a great way to spend a Saturday afternoon….

9.       THE GATOR BOWL- It is a trip I have had the luxury of attending every year for the past 14 years, but it is always a good time. It is great to go to a bowl game where you don’t really care who wins, and you can sit back and enjoy a solid weekend. Make sure to head to the Jacksonville Landing for your New Year’s festivities…..

10.   WILLIAMS BRICE STADIUM- Of course I had to save the best for last. This place offers tailgating at its finest. If there is a 7:00 kickoff, expect to be at the game with drink in hand by 9:00 AM. If you are really looking for a good time, head over to Stadium Place and listen to loud music, or hop on a Cock-A-Boose for a hell of a time….

As always, it has been a pleasure. Leave me your thoughts and comments on the facebook post…. See you all Friday morning Suckazzzzzz.