Happy Crappy Monday Morning.......Volume 12.0

Happy Crappy Monday Morning……Volume 12.0

By: J-Shannon

Happy Crappy Monday Morning! It’s good being back on the wagon after some unexpected weather delays last week. We had to cram as much football into this Happy Crappy Monday because of the fact that Football season is almost over, and to be honest, I don’t know what the hell I’m going to write about once the season ends. Lots went on this past week and weekend, including some upsets, some not so surprising finishes, and another SEC team was crowned the National Champion. So sit back and relax, and prepare for one of the best Happy Crappy Monday Mornings Ever……

1.     Atlanta Falcons, Atlanta Braves, lots in common…….

So the Falcons dominated the regular season. They finished Number 1 in their respective division, earned the Number 1 overall seed in the NFC, and even had a first Round Bye. You would think that the team would be jacked beyond measure for this past Saturday’s game…. Well the team got beat down worse than Rodney King. Sound familiar? It should, it should sound just like the Atlanta Braves. Someone needs to enlighten the sports teams of ATL, and let them know that winning the regular season means nothing. It’s the playoffs that count. The saying around Atlanta for the last few weeks has been “The Road to the Super Bowl Runs Right through Atlanta!” Well bad news Atlanta, the train came through Atlanta, didn’t stop, and is on it’s way to Chicago. The good news with the Falcon’s offense and way of football is to hold the ball, run it, and chew up clock. That works fine and dandy, until you’re down by 21.  I don’t want to take anything away from the Falcons, this team has come a hell of a long way in three years, I just think the Super Bowl predictions were a year or so too early…….

2.     Hey Big TEN, chalk another one up for the SEC

I personally love when a Big Ten fan argues with me and tells me that there is just as much competition in the SEC as there is the Big Ten. Well how is this for a stat: The Big Ten has 2 National Championships in the Past 40 years, the SEC has 10 in the past 19. Auburn wrapped up another win for the good guys this weekend, even though in my opinion it will be taken away from me in a couple of years. Nick Fairley earned what should be an extra 25 million bones in the game. With Andrew Luck making possibly the dumbest decision possible, and the way Fairley played in the National Championship, it looks like he is going to be the Number 1 overall pick. Don’t worry Big Ten, even with Fairley and Newton set to head to the NFL, there is another SEC team stacking up on Blue Chip talent, and preparing to play in the 2012 National Championship……

3.     Seahawks, Welcome Back to Earth….

This one will be about as quick as a virgin tool-bag losing his virginity on Prom night. Welcome back to earth. Yes, you beat the defending Champions, but keep in mind they had no running back. Keep in mind that even thought their record was much better than yours, they did fly all the way across the country because your division sucks ass. When Jay Cutler Puts up the points on you that he did, you know you don’t deserve to go any further than you’ve already gotten……

4.     My Apologizes Sexy Rexy….

I’m man enough to admit when I’m wrong. And although in My Friday Morning Free for All, (if you missed it, you can click here) I predicted three out of the four weekend games correctly, I didn’t give Rex and the Jets enough credit. I have to admit, I love a good shit talker. And what makes a good shit talker great, is when they back up what they are talking about. The jets took it to the Patriots, and Brady and Bellicheck had no response for what has happening. Sanchez did what he had to do, which was play mistake free football, and don’t hand the game away. I would personally love to see the Jets and the Packers go at it in the Super Bowl, mainly because I’m a sucker for Defenses, and these two have two of the best in the league…..

5.     Golden Globes were Last night…..

Who gives a shit, they aren’t Oscars or anything……..

6.     2010 World Series of Beer Pong Champions

Let’s all give credit where it is due, and credit is due to the team of “Standing Ovation”, who won the 2010 world series of Beer Pong over the Holidays. The team competed against 507 teams, from 9 countries and 48 states. Grand Prize: $50,000. Yea you read that right; that is a chunk of change to do what well all love to do. I’m down for putting together a man’s trip next year, anyone else?

7.     Slide Down a Notch Peyton Manning, there is a new Number 2 in town….

well……

8.     Photo of the Week:

Courtesy of Extra Mustard on Cnnsi.com, what a solid pic…. Enjoy:

9.     “Deuces” of the week…….

You know how the “Deuces” works, so here they are……

·     Seattle Seahawks- Peace out, to be honest, you shouldn’t have been in the playoffs anyway….

·     Newton and Fairley- I don’t blame you, jump ship before the hammer comes down and make that cheddar in the NFL….

·     Sean McDermott- I’m not sure why or how, but you got the boot from the Eagles…. I know a hand full of teams that need to pick you up…..

·     Jose Canseco’s Brother- Ozzie, Jose’s brother, was busted for DUI this past weekend. Sucks bro…..

·     Brandi Favre- Yea, Brett’s sister was busted for having a meth lab in her house…. And you thought Brett was having problems recently…..

10.     THE TOP 10 in the TOP 10….

With the football season coming to an end, I felt  that this week’s Top 10 in the Top 10 would be a good way to put together my ultimate Defensive team. This team consist of the top 10 Defensive players in the league today, playing the positions they are best at. I know someone is going to disagree, so let me know who you would pick…..

DE- JULIUS PEPPERS- The dude is a freak of nature, and no one has a chance at stopping him. You may prevent him a time or two from getting to the QB, but in the end he is going to spank you.

DT- VINCE WILFORK- The man is a mountain, and comes to play every game. Sitting fat and pretty at 6’2’’, 325, it takes a dump truck to get his ass out of the running lane….

DE ROBERT MATHIS- He is smaller and quicker, but I think you need that opposite of Peppers. I love how quick his first step is, and love that fact that teams allow their practice squads to start off sides to simulate his speed…..

OLB- CLAY MATHEWS- When this kid hits you, your Mama feels it. He is nasty, and has that swagger everyone is a little scared of…..

ILB- PATRICK WILLIS- I think the guy has had 600 sacks in the past 3 season. It’s a shame he was taken after Jamal Anderson of the Falcons…..

ILB BRIAN URLACHER- He anchors a defense that is one of the best in the league. The guy just bleeds football…

OLB- JAMES HARRISON- Hey, anyone who has over $100,000 in fines for hitting people to hard, gets to start for my defense. I’m down with that 100%

CORNER- NNAMDI ASOMUGHA- He has been tucked away on a team that is shitty, so he doesn’t get a lot of publicity, but he is a star. Look for him next year, since he opted out of his contract and will be playing for someone else next year.

FS- ED REED- I’ll put up with the fact that he is usually hurt half of the season, because he is a ball hawk. The guy picks someone off twice a game, and always when it counts….

SS- TROY PALAMALU- He is getting a little older, but could you imagine having these two guys roaming around on the same defense together…. Good luck for that QB….

CORNER- DARRELLE REVIS- One word: SHUTDOWN. That sums it up. That’s what I got people…

Yea, I know it is 11 instead of 10, so Sue me……

As always, it has been a pleasure. Leave me your thoughts and comments on the facebook post…. See you all Friday morning Suckazzzzzz.