Happy Crappy Monday......Volume 13.0

Happy Crappy Monday Morning……Volume 13.0

By: J-Shannon

It is Monday Boys and Girls, and you all know what that means. It’s time for a solid edition of the Happy Crappy Monday. This week’s topics will cover the ManChild of a Quarterback Aaron Rodgers, as well as the world largest Vagina, Jay Cutler. Also included will be a little recruiting news, my Top 10 Pre-Season College Football Rankings, and a little more stuff that should make your day a little better. So sit back and relax, and enjoy this edition of the Happy Crappy Monday Morning.

1.       Packers still Rolling along…..

Wow. Aaron Rodgers is the real deal. I picked from the start that the Packers would handle the Falcons, and would be the scariest team in the playoffs. The Defense is stellar, and the only thing they were lacking during the season was a solid running game on the offense side of the ball. It looks like they figured out what is going on with the run game. Think back to about 4 years ago, when the Packers told an aging Brett Favre that they were making the move to the younger, more in shape Aaron Rodgers. Some Packers fans were disappointed. I don’t hear any of those same fans complaining these days.  Aaron Rodgers defined what type of player he is when Bears DE Julius Peppers almost took his head off in the third quarter. If you paid attention, Rodgers got back up, spit out a mouthful of blood, and continued to orchestrate a perfect game. The Packers look to be a team to be reckoned with over the next 5-7 years. If you were to add to their lineup another solid, young running back, with maybe a third or fourth round wide receiver pick, this team will be loaded.

2.       It May not be Pretty, but Big Ben does 1 Thing: WIN…..

Well, he doesn’t throw 400 yards a game. He doesn’t throw for 4 touchdowns. But you know what he does do? He wins. And he wins often. Big Ben is 10-2 in the playoffs in his career; that is second best all time among Quarterbacks who have played in more than 10 playoff games. He is a large man, and has the ability to shrug off defensive players. The best thing he does is continue to make big plays, when it counts. Big Ben has the ability to roll out of the pocket, and keep the play going when nothing is open in the beginning. This is when he does his damage. The bad part about it, there is no defense for a QB who continues to drag out the play until someone gets open. Yea he made some mistakes in the beginning of the season, but you haven’t really heard anything about that lately have you?

3.        No American’s left in Australia

So I know I don’t watch as much Tennis as most people, but can we not get an American to step up and do some work in the Tennis game. The Australian Open is going on, but it looks like every American has already booked their flights home, being that none are left in the event. What is the deal USA…. Step your game up. 

4.       Mark Sanchez: Wiping Boogers on Teammates……

You know, it is bad enough being Mark Brunell. The guy is 40 years old, been in the league for 20 years, and still somehow is bankrupt. Not only that, but you have to ride the pine pony while a young Mark Sanchez has been anointed the chosen one for the Jets. But to make matters even worse, Sanchez treats Brunell like the bottom of a cafeteria table. Check out what he does to old Brunell during Sunday’s game…..

5.       Brooklyn Decker= Enough Said

I hated on you for already losing the Australian Open, but you did win the ultimate prize. Here is the woman married to Andy Roddick…..You know what? Shes so hot it wont let me upload her photo so give her the ole google.

6.       A little Jay Cutler Bashing for the Bro Nameth Followers…..

It looks like I wasn’t the only one who thought Jay Cutler played like a Puss this weekend. After his “Severe” knee injury, you know the one that allowed him to walk all around the sidelines during the second half of the game, many present and former NFL players used Twitter to express their feelings on Cutler. Thanks to Extra Mustard for these Tweets.

Bucs Linebacker Derrick Brooks: Hey, There is no medicine for a guy with no guts and heart

Maurice Jones Drew: Hey, I think the Urban Meyer Rule is in effect right now…When the going gets tough, QUIT.

Cardinals Safety Kerry Rhodes: Cmon Cutler you have to come back. This is the NFC Championship if you didn’t know.

Primetime Deion Sanders: Folks I never question a players injury, but I do question a players heart. TRUTH

Mark Schlereth: As a guy who has had over 20 knee surgeries, you’d have to drag me out on a stretcher to leave a championship game.

7.       A little Too Much….

Yea, I would be extremely happy to be going to the Super Bowl too. But Rashad Mendenhall may have taken his celebration a little too far…..

8.       More Jay Cutler Bashing: 

Did you know one of the Executive Producers of the Vagina Monologues is Jay Cutler? Cutler signed a 2 year $5,000,000 contract with Vagisil this past offseason. His favorite movie on his bio page is Too Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything! Julie Newmar.

9.       “Deuces” of the week…….

You know how the “Deuces” works, so here they are……

·         Carson Palmer- Carson wants a trade. He says he is fed up with the Bengals. Carson, you had Ochocinco and TO last season on your squad, along with Cedric Benson. I don’t think anyone is going to be upset you’re leaving…..

·         New York Jets-  Back to your Foot Fetish Rexy, your season is history.

·         Chicago Bears- Sorry Bears. Maybe you’ll have a better backup quarterback plan next season than Todd Collins.

·         Jack LaLanne- The original workout Guru, passed away at 92.

10.   THE TOP 10 in the TOP 10….

Yea it is early, but it is never too early to look ahead at my preseason projected top 10 for next season….. Here it is.

10. OKLAHOMA STATE COWBOYS- They have a good squad, but did lose their offensive   Coordinator to West Virginia. If they can overcome the loss, they will have a good season.                

9.    MICHIGAN STATE SPARTANS-The Spartans are still a little pissed they won a piece of the Big Ten, and sat at home during BCS games and watched other teams play. Look for this chip on their shoulder to lead them to a BCS game this year.

8.    WISCONSIN BADGERS- They play smash mouth football. They run the ball, and run the ball well. Wisconsin should have a hell of a run in 2011. 

7.    TEXAS A&M AGGIES- It’s nice to have Coach Mike Sherman. It is also nice to return almost every starter from an already good team. Texas A&M is letting people know there is another team in Texas other than the Longhorns.

6.    FLORIDA STATE SEMINOLES- Replacing Christian Ponder is first priority, but the Seminoles always have talent down in Florida. Look for them to repeat winning their division in the ACC

5.    STANFORD CARDINAL- They lost their coach to the NFL, but their guaranteed Number 1 Draft pick of a QB decided he wanted to enjoy college a little more. Look for Andrew Luck to lead Stanford far this season.

4.    LSU TIGERS- Les Miles is back. Their Defense is nasty. This team is loaded with talent, and play with a swagger.

3.    OREGON DUCKS- The core of their national championship team is back. QB Darron Thomas is back, along with Heisman finalist LaMichael James. Add in the fact that they play in the Pac 10, there is a good chance they are back in the National Championship.

2.    ALABAMA CRIMSON TIDE- Recruits, Recruits, Recruits. They are loaded. Trent Richardson is going to step up, and take the starting Running back title. Watch out for Bama this season.

1.       OKLAHOMA SOONERS- Almost all starters back, including starting QB Landry Jones and Receiver Ryan Broyles. It will hurt to lose Demarco Murray, but they are loaded with talent. 

Honorable Mentions: Be on the lookout for: South Carolina, Boise State, TCU, Notre Dame, Nebraska, Ohio State, and Arkansas…..

As always, it has been a pleasure. Leave me your thoughts and comments on the facebook post…. See you all Friday morning Suckazzzzzz.