Happy Crappy Monday ……Volume 8.0
By: J Shannon
Well, the college football regular season is in the books, and it was one hell of a weekend. As you can tell, this Happy Crappy morning has rolled over into Happy Crappy Afternoon, mainly because I slept a grand total of 3 hours the entire weekend. Epic is too small a word to describe the weekend, even with a beat down from Auburn. Anyway, here it is boys and girls….Happy Crappy Monday “Afternoon” Skeezers….
1. Cam Newton Rolls through Atlanta….
Yes, I attended the SEC Championship this weekend. And yes, I was amazed to watch Cam Newton single handedly lay a beat down on the Gamecocks. I put together 5 checkpoints on Friday that The South Carolina Football team would have to do to win this Game. Let’s take a look at how the Gamecocks measured up to these points…..
ü Alshon Jeffery has an enormous day. He lit up Auburn last game for 8 catches, 190 yards, and 2 touchdowns. He will need to do the same again.
…..Jeffery had nowhere near the day he had the first game against Auburn. Alshon ended the game with 4 receptions for 38 yards and a TD….
ü They stick to the game plan. Even if Lattimore isn’t breaking off big chunks of yardage, you can not abandon the run game. You have to keep going to back to the run, in order to keep Jeffery free.
…. Lattimore was also held in check. He ended up with 18 carries for 84 yards.
ü They force turnovers. The Defense has to play by far the best game of the season. I don’t think you can sit back and wait on Cam to make a move. I think Ellis Johnson has to dial up some confusing looks and blitz packages.
…. We def. dropped the ball on this one. I was extremely disappointed on not only the lack of effort on the defensive side of the ball, but the game plan in general that was put together by Ellis Johnson. Rarely, if ever, did you see a blitz dialed up to put some pressure on Cam. RUMOR has it Stephon Gilmore had to stand in the back of the isl on the back of the plane for the ride home, being that his ass was beat so bad by Cam he couldn’t sit in his seat… Stephon Gilmore thinks he should be playing on Sundays, but I feel like he wouldn’t start for a lot of Friday night High School teams these days. What happened to you bro? Step your game up, you should be ashamed that Cam made you his bitch with 268 yards passing on you ALONE….
ü They play Turnover Free Football. Against Florida, I said USC could make 1 turnover or less. Well that was because Florida’s offense sucks worse than a Dyson Vacuum. Auburn’s Offense is nasty. USC CAN NOT TURN THE BALL OVER AT ALL.
.... Yea, well you know how this one goes. Garcia had two crucial picks, and the rest is history….
ü The Ol Ball Coach returns to form. Spurrier has to put together the best game plan of his career. I think the fact that he has played this game numerous times is a huge advantage for South Carolina.
….. Overall, I was disappointed in all aspects of the Game Plan. The offense was lack luster. The defense didn’t have a remote chance of slowing down the Cam Newton Express. Being that this was the biggest game in the history of South Carolina Football, you just expected the team to come out with a little passion….. Overall grade….
2. How About Them Dirty Birdz……
Ok, I’m man enough to admit when I was wrong, and when I said the hiring of Coach Mike Smith was a bad idea; I couldn’t have been more incorrect. The man flat out knows how to coach. I’m not sure what type of brotivation he is mixing in the Gatorade up in Flowery Branch, but he has the Falcons playing inspired football. Regardless of score, and how much time is left in the game, the Falcon’s find a way to make the right moves and take the lead. All three phases of the team have stepped up when needed, and this week was no exception. Late in the 4th quarter, when the Falcon’s needed a spark, Eric Weems decided the best way to put points on the board was to return a kickoff 102 yards for a touchdown….I’m excited to see how deep this team can go into the playoffs….
3. Destroying the National Anthem….
I’m a big fan of the Eli Young band, but that last thing you want to do as a professional artist is to abuse the National Anthem. Make sure you know it before you kill it…. The Chiefs fans let this guy have it this weekend….
4. Oregon vs. Auburn preview….
Now that the dust has settled, it’s time to say it… War Damn Eagle. I have to pull for the Tigers in the game, being that they are in the SEC. I think this game has potential to be an amazing shootout. The game opened up in Vegas yesterday with Oregon being a 4 point favorite, and already today it has moved to Auburn being favored by 5. I’m looking forward to seeing the ball go back and forth up and down the field. But most importantly, I cannot wait to see what Oregon is going to wear. The Nike Corporation is going to put together one hell of a uniform combination for this game.
5. My FAVORITE South Carolina Player….
Here you go fellas, I found a new favorite player on the South Carolina football team….
6. Drew Stanton, Never again Bro…
Drew Stanton, the Third string Quarterback for the Detroit Lions, got to the opportunity to start this week. After rushing for a Touchdown, Stanton did the worse think he can do… he attempted to “Dougie.” Look, I got no problem with a TD celebration, or the “Dougie,” but make sure you know how to do it first….
7. Gamecock fan support in ATL…
I have to admit, I was proud of how the Gamecocks traveled this past weekend. It was nice to see so many Gamecocks traveled to the big city of ATL, and I think the Friday night show with Patrick Davis was a huge success….It goes a long way to show that the Chik-Fil-A bowl didn’t hesitate to invite the Gamecocks back to the same venue within 3 3 weeks of playing. Let’s see if we can travel again….
8. My Christmas list….
My December Christmas list is complete, and it is really simple. Malin Ackerman. She first popped up on my radar in an Entourage episode. For you avid Entourage followers, she was the third member of the 3-some with Sloan and E. She also stars in the movie Watchmen…. Let me know if anyone needs my address….
9. SUPPORT US ON FACEBOOK….
Enough Said…. Add us ASAP.
10. The Top 10 in the Top 10
With College football coming to an end, and yes I am a little depressed, Here is the top 10 as I see it for COLLEGE ASSISTANT COACHES WHO MAY BE MAKING THE MOVE TO HEAD COACHES NEXT SEASON.
1. BRENT VENABLES- OKLAHOMA DEFENSIVE COORDINATOR – The guy has put together a top defense year after year. It is only a matter of time before he gets to step into the Big Shoes.
2. TROOPER TAYLOR- AUBURN ASSISTANT HEAD COACH – Most people won’t know this name unless you are a Auburn fan. Trooper is the Tool Shed who can be seen waving his towel on the sideline of an Auburn Game. But Trooper is a hell of a recruiter, and insiders are saying it is his time to get a shot at the top position.
3. BUD FOSTER- VIRGINIA TECH DEFENSIVE COORDINATOR- Bud has been the DC in Virginia Tech for like 90 years. He always puts together a good D. Although he wants to take over after Beamer leaves, It looks like Beamer is in it for the long haul. Bud will get his shot soon.
4. GUS MALZAHN- OFFENSIVE COORDINATOR AUBURN- Just won the SEC Championship, laying 56 points in the game. Just won the Broyles award for the Number 1 assistant of the year. It is his time….
5. KIRBY SMART- DEFENSIVE COORDINATOR ALABAMA – Time to get out of the shadow of Nick Saban…
6. TYRONE NIX- ASSISTANT HEAD COACH OLE MISS- Nix needs to make the jump to head coach sooner rather than later, being that Ole Miss looked horrible this season. He needs to cash in the chips while he is hot….
7. WILL MUSCHAMP- DEFENSIVE COORDINATOR TEXAS… Yea I know he is the Coach in waiting at Texas, but how long can he sit in that position before he gets antsy?
8. DICK BUMPAS-DEFENSIVE COORDINATOR TCU- Dick has been a multiple finalist for the Broyles Award. Yea he coaches at TCU, but he has put together a Defense in an area of the country that has him competing for players with top schools like Oklahoma and Texas.
9 & 10. YOU DECIDE- Give me some feedback, and let me know which college assistant coach needs a new gig. Best answer gets a Bro Nameth T…..
Leave me your thoughts and comments on the facebook post…. See you all Friday morning Suckazzzzzz.
5 comments:
I am positively terrified that Miami will swoop in and offer March Richt the same 2-4M he's making now with 0 stress and no pressure to win 8 games a year in the ACC
I didnt even think of that! You might be onto something. Richt being from florida has ties down there and I think he is starting to feel underappreciated at UGA. Dont get me wrong, i can understand the Bulldog Nation's fristration but the fact of the matter is he has averaged 9+ wins a season while there. Good call though...Also, i like your blog. Good luck and hopefully you can turn pro...that way i san say i know a pro player.
Dude, Drew Stanton doing the Dougie was awesome. Not only did a QB do an endzone dance, which never happens, but he was white! I loved it.
But the Dougie is not a great dance. In fact, I think the dance kinda sucks.
the Dougie might be the dumbest dance in the history of dances...However you can see that he is laughing his ass off so it makes it less tooly that he knows he looks like a tool...
True Bulldog fans love Richt, and realize he's won more than BOTH the coaches the buildings are all named after at their respective points in their careers!
About the poker, thanks! It's somewhere between a hobby and a part-time thing, lots of fun (most of the time) and beats getting a real job
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